Pitfalls in Building Relationships, Commitment, and Love - Starting With C

We continue this series suggesting how to avoid many pitfalls in building interpersonal relationships, whether with family, coworkers, friends, or that special someone. Committed, loving relationships do not just happen. You may know that there is no success secret, no checklist of things to do, and just as important things not to do to make such relationships happen. But we do have many suggestions that focus on potential problems. We actually have a double series of articles for the letter C.

C is for control. This is a big no-no for any kind of relationship. Don’t go on a power trip. No one, whether coworkers, acquaintances, friends, or family members will appreciate your attempts at controlling them. When you are trying to push your point of view, your way of doing things you should ask yourself; is the point in question really what it’s all about? Or am I simply trying to impose my control on people? Ask yourself, how would I like it if people would try to control me? You don’t have to constantly choose the movie or restaurant. Giving up control may require some imagination and compromise. Let’s say that you are a vegetarian. Don’t be surprised that the people around you are tired of going to the only vegetarian restaurant in town. Change restaurants. You don’t have to order a Porterhouse steak. Order the Greek salad. And save room for a special dessert. You may get something for the control that you have relinquished. At least you’ll get a good meal.

C is for careless. Don’t be sloppy. Don’t forget your wedding anniversary. (I bet you don’t forget your birthday.) Life is full of details. Don’t miss them. Remember, what seems insignificant to you can have great importance to others. Take that last look in the mirror before leaving the house. A bit of egg on your face will ruin an otherwise great job interview. If you need to take notes on your calendar and make lists.

C is for condescend. Condescension is a real relationship killer. Don’t go around assuming that you are better than people and even if you think so make sure you don’t say it. If I’m the patient and you’re the doctor, there is no reason to remind me of these facts. I know I’m the patient and I know that I haven’t gone to medical school, etc. It doesn’t matter who you are, get off of your high horse. Just remember, the bigger they come the harder they fall.

Are you tired of all this negativity? Take a look at our companion series that accentuates the positive.