A Personal Mission Statement

Many companies display what's known as their 'Mission Statement' (often somewhere near their reception area) so that anyone who walks through their doors understands what that particular organisation is all about; their values, their objectives, their corporate philosophy, their purpose... in short, who they are.

I'm always interested in mission statements because I often get to explore whether or not what's written on the piece of cardboard (plastic, timber, aluminium...etc.) at reception is actually reflective and representative of what actually happens within that organisation (as I get to work with lots of different companies... and the people who keep those corporate wheels turning).

As an aside, it is my experience that very few companies walk the talk.
If they actually lived their mission statement they wouldn't need people like me to come and coach them.
I think that many organisations write fluffy, politically-correct-sounding, goody-two-shoes-type, we-really-care declarations when they are establishing their company... and then five years later someone realises that professionally, culturally and practically their company's typical behaviour couldn't be further from their original intention.
Sorry, I digress.
(There's a shock).

So anyway, I decided to do a search on the term 'mission statement' and while I found many, many (rather lengthy) definitions, the one which made the most sense to me was simple and short:

A mission statement defines the core purpose of an organization - why it exists.

A few years ago I did some work with a man who owns a successful company (we'll call him Dave).

Heaps of cash, heaps of toys, heaps of 'trophies', great reputation in his field and apparently.... 'got it made.'
Sure.
A great business with lots of staff (over one hundred), growing turn-over, healthy bottom line, great brand-awareness, a strong foot-hold in the marketplace and seemingly, a bright corporate future. We were doing some work together because beyond the walls of his business, his life (physical health, relationships, mental and emotional health) was something less than successful.
Disastrous perhaps.

Anyway... the first day we met I asked him lots of questions about his company.
He loved that.
(It's good to cover the good stuff first... blokes like that! Get them comfortable, build their confidence).
He was in his element; the highly-capable, successful entrepreneur.
He was answering all of my (business) questions with confidence and calmness.
Facts, figures, stats.. you name it, he could reel them off.

Here's a conversation we had early in our first session (just after the 'good' stuff):

"So Dave, does your organisation have a mission statement?"
"Yep."
"Do you know it off by heart?"
"Of course."
"Can you share it with me?"
"Sure."

He then proceeded to recite his company's mission statement, word for word, no stumbles and no mistakes (it was maybe 250 words). It was a very impressive and well-thought-through declaration.

"Mmm, powerful stuff... who wrote that?"
"Me."
"Wow, I'm impressed."
"So when it comes to your 'corporate self' and what your company is all about, you seem to have it nailed... tell me about you away from work."

"What do you want to know."
"Well, I'd like to know what Dave's Personal Mission Statement is?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, you told me all about your company's purpose... it's reason for being, it's values and philosophy... what do you think your purpose is? Other than being a business man, who and what is Dave's mission in life?
What are you here for?
Why do you exist?"

All of a sudden the confident, successful, articulate business man was tongue-tied, moving uneasily in his seat and clearly uncomfortable.

"How am I meant to answer that?"

He couldn't answer me then and there but he did conclude that what defined him, his purpose, his reason for being... wasn't to make money. Sometimes finding out what our purpose is starts with identifying what it isn't.

I saw him weekly for about three months and his 'homework' for the first week was to write his own personal mission statement. His simple task (to write his mission statement) took a month! I've never seen anyone work so hard or put so much effort into writing two hundred (or so) honest, insightful, life-defining words.
It was a massive personal journey for him to start questioning who he was and what he was about when we took away all his 'stuff'.

The truth is that many of us (on some level) don't know why we exist.
Our purpose, what our life is all about; our mission statement.
Sure we know how we exist... we eat, we sleep, we work, we breathe, we interact, we get sick, we age..
But is that it?

Periodically we get glimpses of our purpose and our potential, we have moments... we get a little a little excited about what our life could be... and then somehow we let the reality, the messy-ness and the monotony of life suck that excitement and hope out of us.
Some of us feel like we're simply going through the motions for eighty years or so...and then we fall off the perch.
Surviving not thriving.

Tragically, many of us let situations, circumstances, events and other people define us.
We let things and people tell us who we are and what we're about.

I've seen way too many gifted, intelligent, creative people live a life of frustration, disappointment and sadness because they let circumstances and people rob them of what could be. To step out of other people's expectations and pressure takes guts... but we need to do it if we really want to establish who we are, what we're about and what this life will mean for us.

* Don't let anyone or any thing define you... who you are, your beliefs, values, goals; your life purpose. Being influenced by external forces is normal... being defined by them is tragic.
Use other people for feedback, guidance, direction and support but don't let them tell you what your purpose is or who you are.
Only you can (should) decide that.

I don't care if it's your psychologist, your pastor, your rabbi, your parents, your doctor or your partner, your life-coach or your guru, don't let them define you.
Don't let them write your mission statement for you.

Don't let anyone tell you who or what you should be or become.
Listen to them, consider their perspective, be respectful... but think, decide and do for yourself.
One of the problems is that some of us constantly look to others for approval and validation... we want to become the person we're expected to be.

One of Dave's (from our story) biggest challenges was that he had parents, family and peers who expected him to do and be a certain way. Underneath the businessman confidence and bravado was a fourteen year-old who still needed approval and still wanted to please and impress those he respected and loved.

But in all of that he lost his identity.

He subsequently made many changes (internal and external) in his life and became a much happier, more balanced and more fulfilled individual... he discovered who he was and what he was about (he's still learning as we all are).

And no, he didn't sell his company, give away all his money and become a monk.
But he did get a new perspective, he did shock a few people (big deal) and he did ruffle some feathers.

Ruffle away, I say.

Sometimes we need to stop, step back from the busy-ness, the repetition and the 'same-ness' of our reality and decide who we are and what our life is about.

Our Mission Statement.

What's yours?