Persisitence On Adult Dating Sites Pays Off

While meeting women on any kind of dating site is basically a numbers game, this is especially true with adult dating sites. Actually it’s more than one numbers game. The first numbers game is simply that the more women you contact, the greater your chance of actually meeting someone to hook up with. Of course, the better you are at writing your profile ad, your message headlines, and your messages, the better you’ll be at that first numbers game. The second numbers game is the more times you contact a given prospect, the more likely you’ll be able to hook up with her.

Let’s talk about that second numbers game. Remember, on the legitimate adult dating sites (let’s not even think about the scam sites), some women are receiving hundreds of messages per week. Even if you are a master of writing attention-getting message subject lines and response-generating messages, there’s still a good chance that your message will get lost in the huge volume of messages a given woman is receiving. So if she’s someone you’re interested in, don’t be afraid to contact her on a regular basis to try to get noticed.

Now, what would be considered contacting someone on a regular basis? Contacting someone on a daily basis, while it meets the definition of "regular", would probably be considered stalking, which will not only not tend to generate a favorable response, but will probably wind up getting your messages blocked. I recommend a frequency of about once every 2 to 4 weeks.

But what if she looks really hot and you’re really anxious to meet her? That would be your first mistake. You really need to develop the attitude that there are plenty of good looking women to hook up with and no matter how good she may look, she’s NOT the perfect woman. The best thing you can do to give yourself an active sex life is to NOT be too anxious to meet ANY woman. Be a bit stand-offish. Make contact, but don’t drool all over your keyboard as you type your message.

You want to be persistent and continue to express interest as long as she still has a profile up and is active on the site. Now, what do I mean by "active"? Most sex dating sites will give you an indicator as to when the last time someone logged on to her account was. If she hasn’t been there in over a month, definitely don’t waste your time sending her a message. You are far better off spending your time messaging active members rather than hoping one particular woman will happen to log in again after being away for a month and happen to see your message and answer it. If she’s hot and she does come back after being gone for a month, she’ll probably have several hundred messages in her mailbox, and most likely she’ll just delete them all and start over. Even after just a couple of weeks, the huge volume of accumulated messages that a particularly good looking woman will undoubtedly have is more likely to be totally deleted than read, so I recommend sticking to sending messages to women who are checking in at least every week or so. Remember, you aren’t sending these prospects messages every week - you follow-up every 2 to 4 weeks. By sending messages every 2 to 4 weeks, you’ll be seen as someone who is interested, but not an obsessed stalker.

You may be wondering what to send as a follow-up message. You could simply send the same (or nearly the same) thing you did on the first contact. There’s a good chance she didn’t get to read it the first time around. You may want to change it up somewhat. The main thing is to try to come up with an interesting subject line and a brief, but interesting message. Besides that, don’t sweat it. If you’re contacting multiple women multiple times and you don’t come across as a stalker or some clingy wussy-boy, you will meet women and you will get laid - it’s simply a matter of time.

George Bestsecks runs a website guide to Adult Dating. Email questions or comments to articles@guidetosexdatingsites.com