Parents and Their Influence (2)

The image of a good father is harder and harder to see these days. Today we have the image of the successful business man with his sharp suit and red tie ready to negotiate another profitable contract. He is simply too busy for family life…maybe somewhere in the weekend.

Anyway, the image of a good father is what Jesus Christ, the Son of God describes in the Gospels:

"Once a man had two sons. "The younger son said to his father, "Give me my share of the property." So the father divided his property between his two sons.

Not long after that, the younger son packed up everything he owned and left for a foreign country, where he wasted all his money in wild living. He had spent everything, when a bad famine spread through that whole land. Soon he had nothing to eat. …The younger son got up and started back to his father. But when he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt sorry for him. He ran to his son and hugged and kissed him.

The son said, "Father, I have sinned against God in heaven and against you. I am no longer good enough to be called your son."

But his father said to the servants, "Hurry and bring the best clothes and put them on him. Give him a ring for his finger and sandals for his feet. Get the best calf and prepare it, so we can eat and celebrate. This son of mine was dead, but has now come back to life. He was lost and has now been found." And they began to celebrate. "Luke 10

We first have to see where the pattern is crooked and thus establish the cause of the problem and then we can get on at solving it. That’s why I’ll continue in the following lines with the parental models and the convictions that can be built into our children, convictions about themselves as well as about God.

1. The unloving parental prototype can lead his children into believing:" I am not the type of person that can be loved" and when it comes to God, the children might think:" God cannot love me, He loves everyone else but me."

2. Harsh and insensitive parents will determine their children to think:" I probably deserve to be punished" and about God:" God is a severe judge and I will know His anger and His rewards."

3. A critical spirit of the parents is so incredibly destructive! It creates an atmosphere of unfair competition where the child has to live up to some impossible standards and he hardly ever manages to do something right, not because he doesn’t want to but because the parents expect too much and are simply very hard to please. This way their initiative spirit is destroyed trough acid criticism. It is not only in relationships with their own parents that this critique devastates, but also when relating to their friends, children brought up in a critical environment will act based on what they have been taught (their parents are the first to mold those little minds and personalities). The consequence is not very difficult to predict: those children end up with very few friends- if any- due to this constant criticism spread around. Nobody likes to be constantly criticized!

Now it doesn’t mean that if you grew up in a family where you inherited some of these negative patterns you are necessarily a victim. As soon as you realize what was wrong you have the authority and the power to change and it is not an excuse to repeat the same mistakes with your children.

I am not saying it is easy, but it all starts with the renewing of your mind. Until now you believed a wrong thing but when you see the truth, start acting on it. If you find it difficult, simply ask help form God, and you will get the right help and assistance whenever you need it.

I don’t know if there is one person to have not been trough at least one of the wrong patterns presented above. Parents are not perfect beings but this is not an excuse to continuing the same way ourselves because we have to assume our share of responsibility as well. We can’t blame our parents, maybe they didn’t know better. However, you do, so let God renew the way you think trough His Word, The Bible, and you will have the fruits that come thereof: love, peace and harmony in your home and relationships.