Parenting Twins

Parenting twins is a challenging task that presents unique and complicated problems. Parents of twins need to take care of their newborn babies as individuals. This is essentially includes finding what is different about each child, as well as keeping in mind the close relationship that twin infants share. Do not differentiate and treat twins as it will cause difficulties in their later in life. Respect for early relationships must be husband and wife with respect for uniqueness. It bears repeating that raising twin children as a unit is a form of child abuse or neglect.

Twin infants and children are extremely close to each other in ways that are difficult to put into words. In the beginning the twin infants looks similar to each other, gradually they become separate persons. The mother of the infants picks up her twin infants holds them and she begins to experience separateness from his or her co-twin. Each infant twin slowly forms a unique attachment to his or her mother resulting from the nearness of holding, feeding, and calming. It is in the initial days, weeks, and months of relating to each twin infant that a unique relationship is formed with the mother and other caregivers. This is the beginning of a sense of individuality for each twin. The twin infant’s mother feels differences in how she reacts to each of her twin children. One infant will be a quiet child with whom the mother can play more easily. The other infant is tense and needs more cheering and crying. There are slight changes in their behavior. So the mother faces a lot of problems. The parent’s faiths about differences between their twin infants are almost certainly not actual differences between twins; rather, they are indications to their rising personality and uniqueness.

Before they are born, twins share their mother’s womb, so it is natural for them to be happy sharing their caregivers and possessions like toys, clothes, even food. A parent who is interested in developing individuality has to limit sharing between twins as they grow older. For example, each twin can be given clothing and toys that should not be shared. They should also have certain possessions that are to be shared. By making a distinction between what is shared and what is not, twins learn first to respect each other’s possessions, and later, their separate emotional experiences.

Parents need to be very sensitive, to be understanding and comforting when they realize that their twins are anxious. Even though, parents are unable to pay attention to twin infants at the same time. To make discipline it is more difficult for parents. Communication between twins is fast and easy, and they quickly get into mischief or undermine the authority of their parents through trickery. Twins are seasoned partners in creating good times and sometimes destruction.

To discipline effectively, parents need to make rules that their twins will follow. To do so, their twins will become smart and behave in a proper way. Unfortunately, rather than being effective disciplinarians, the parents often become the fall guys of their twins’ behavior.

When twins begin pre-school, parents should become even more active in encouraging each child to make their own choices. Special occasions such as birthday parties should be personalized for each child.

Parenting twins is more difficult and uneasy than raising a single child. Trying to lift twins single-handedly is very difficult and it becomes failure. Parents need to reasonably accept the challengers they face and ask for help and support from their families, pediatrician, and community support groups for twins.

As parents become accustomed to each of their twin children’s special characters, they will begin to raise two strong individuals who will love and support each other throughout their lifetimes.