Parenting Teenagers

You couldn't get hold of the things you'd done and turn them right again. Such a power might be given to the gods, but it was not given to women and men, and that was probably a good thing. Had it been otherwise, people would probably die of old age still trying to rewrite their teens.
~ Stephen King

If you thought that parenting is tricky business, then parenting your child through his/her teenage is perhaps the most difficult part of it. Teenage is a difficult time for adolescents who are not kids anymore but have a long way to go before they turn into responsible adults. The hormones run wild, the peer pressure builds up, and almost every day the average teenager battles many unseen dangers and risks that threaten to take away the golden days of their lives and leave a permanent scar on their impressionable minds. Drugs, violence, peer-pressure, alcohol, sex – there are so many things that parents of teenagers need to worry about.

Starting Early

Although parenting is a difficult task throughout all ages of the children, it is believed that the teenage is perhaps the toughest phase for both parents and children. Parenting teenagers is very different as compared to parenting a baby or a toddler. The first rule of parenting a teenager is trying to relate to his/her actions by drawing upon your personal experiences of teenage. One thing that you can do is to prepare for your child’s teenage phase in advance. Try and establish a strong bond with your child right from the beginning. Encourage your child to express his/her feelings clearly in order to create an open and healthy atmosphere at home. Never suppress your child’s emotions and questions, instead try and answer your child’s queries to build a bond wherein your child can come home and share all his experiences with you without any hesitation.

Helping Them Deal With the Change

Teenage is a phase that marks the transition phase that lies between being naive toddlers and responsible adults. Teenagers need help from their parents to deal with this change. Take note of the fact that the hormonal changes are a major reason for their mood swings and increased anger and irritability. In addition to this the psychological state of a teenager is also vulnerable to psychological disorders like the attention deficit disorder, or the attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. Teenagers are constantly attempting to establish their identity as they deal with rising peer pressure and are exposed new trends and changing definitions of what is ‘in’ and what’s not. In addition to these situations if a teenager has to experience other traumatic experiences like the loss of a loved one, or parents’ divorce, the teenager may find it extremely difficult to handle these things and requires immense comfort and support to rise out of it. Parenting a teenager requires parents and guardians to get into the shoes of the teenager, empathize with him and build a bond of trust without pressurizing the child.

Dealing with Bulimia, Drugs, Smoking, Violence and Sex

Always remember that the types of problems that teenagers face can have a long lasting impact on their future if not checked at the right time. While parenting a teenage child, enough importance should be given to making your child aware of the dangers of drug abuse, violence, smoking and even unprotected sex. Drug abuse is one of the major threats that have gripped the teenage generation. If you think that you cannot put a stop to the easy access to drugs, alcohol and cigarettes, educate your teenager about the ill effects of drugs, alcohol and smoking and converse with the children about these subjects constantly. It is a known fact that a large number of teenagers are indulging in unprotected sex. Do not leave sex-education apart and think that it will be taught in the school sex-ed class. Do not shy away from talking about sex and the other issues related to it. Talk about safe sex, and try to have a healthy conversation about the dangers of unprotected sex. Discourage your teenager from indulging in smoking and alcohol by setting an example. In case the teenager sees you smoking and drinking casually, it is likely that your speech about the ill-effects of smoking and drinking will fall on deaf ears. A large number of teenage girls create a pseudo picture of ‘being beautiful’ by looking at the anorexic models and celebrities on television and cinema. Crash diets and the incessant obsession of losing weight is one of the major issues that lead to problems like bulimia and anorexia in teenage girls. Parents of teenage girls need to talk to these girls about the importance of a beautiful mind that supersedes the outer beauty and also should teach teenage girls the benefits of leading a healthy lifestyle with proper exercise and adequate nutrition.

Converse, Befriend and Respect – Be a Facilitator

Respect your teenager and avoid yelling or punishing the teenagers for every small mistake. Every wrong step or every mistake that your teenager commits is an opportunity for you to converse and teach him the importance of doing the right thing and making the right choices. If you try and impose rigorous rules and restrictions, the teenager is bound to rebel against them. Try and make decisions and set rules with mutual consent and understanding. Most of the parents complain of teenagers being disrespectful to them, however, treating the teenagers the way you want to be treated is the easiest way out. Do not try to dominate, or dictate terms with teenagers, instead be their friend and work things out together. Instead of constantly nagging and advising, try conversing and suggesting ideas. However while being your child’s friend make sure you don’t over do it. Teenagers hate it if their parents constantly try to be a part of the conversations in their friends' circle and can find it annoying if you try too hard to be one of them. Maintain a healthy distance, trust your teenagers and teach them to make the right choices and take responsibility for their actions and assure them that you will always support or help them.

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