Parenting Styles

When a child asks you something, answer him, for goodness' sake. But don't make a production of it. Children are children, but they can spot an evasion quicker than adults, and evasion simply muddles 'em.

Bad language is a stage all children go through, and it dies with time when they learn they're not attracting attention with it.

If you have read Harper Lee’s To Kill a Mockingbird, then one of the things that will strike you the most is the bond shared by Atticus, a single parent and his children Scout and Jim. Most of the lines from this book are memorable and express a lot about parenting with immense simplicity. True parenting is about sharing a bond that provides the right amount of affection and love unconditionally and instills a sense of responsibility and humanity in children. It is about respecting the children and yet teaching them the essentials of life in a way that doesn’t seem didactic. It is being the child’s friend and mentor without one role over powering the other. Parenting is one of the most fulfilling yet one of the most difficult tasks in life. Every parent deals with his/her child in their individual way, yet most of the parenting styles can be categorized into some specific styles or types of parenting. In this article we will discuss the commonly found parenting styles, their advantages and disadvantages.

Authoritarian parenting style is the one in which the parents always try to be in control of the children. Usually these are the sorts who try and impose rigid rules and restrictions on their kids in order to keep a tab on them. These parents often believe that children should show no signs of negative emotions like crying since it makes them weak and hence you find these parents constantly warning their children about crying. Children who have authoritarian parents always struggle to keep up with their parents’ expectations and often end up feeling a lack of affection in the child-parent bond. These parents often fail to explain their kids the reason behind imposing the rules and restrictions. Children with authoritative parents often have trouble being independent individuals and think on their own and have difficulty in trusting their own judgment. Children with authoritarian parents can grow up feeling lonely, emotionally distressed and can have trouble in learning new concepts and getting along with their peers.

Permissive parents or parents with a laissez-faire attitude tend to give their children maximum freedom and have very little control of the children’s lives. Permissive parents rarely make any rules for their children, and if at all rules are made, not all of them are rigorously imposed on the children. Permissive parents love their children unconditionally even if it means accepting the child’s unacceptable / objectionable behavior and tantrums. These parents tend to give their children abundant choices and options without ensuring whether the children are capable of handling the responsibility and without ensuring whether the child is making the correct choice or not.

Democratic parenting is perhaps one of the more balanced styles of parenting since it encourages the children to think independently and take responsibility for their own actions. Democratic parents teach their children to differentiate between good and bad but allow them to make their own choices and learn to take responsibility for themselves. These parents generally have clear and reasonable expectations for their children and also explain why they want their children to behave in a particular manner. They monitor their children's behavior to ensure they are on the right track but they do it in a way that seems loving and caring without being intrusive. These parents also encourage children to participate in the household chores. The children’s mistakes are appropriately pointed out and corrected and every mistake is a means to teach the child a valuable lesson rather than an opportunity for punishment. On the other hand good behavior is always appreciated and rewarded by the democratic parents. Democratic parents often analyze the abilities of their children and provide them the suitable options.

Dismissive or neglectful parenting is an essentially harmful method of parenting. These parents generally fail to generate adequate interest for parenting their children. Parents do not interfere in any of the activities of children and merely provide them with the basic needs of life. These parents often dismiss the concerns of their children and shrug off the responsibility to acknowledge or discuss the problems of their children. Children grow up to be rebellious, irresponsible and may show signs of psychological distress.

Emotion Coaching is another unique style of parenting that focuses on nurturing the child’s emotions. Emotional coaching is about getting into the child’s shoes and empathizing with his/her emotions instead of analyzing or criticizing it. Parents who opt for the emotional coaching style of parenting try and get to know the emotions of the child. These parents encourage the expression of emotions and empathize with these feelings instead of restricting these feelings. These parents see every emotional moment as an opportunity to converse with the child and strengthen the bond further as they talk to the child and solve the problem along with the child instead of giving him the solution. Children of such parents have been observed to have fewer behavioral problems and handle all sorts of emotions in a much better way in childhood as well as after growing up.

It is not necessary that all the parents might rigidly fall into one of these categories since these are generalized characteristics of prominent parenting styles. Some parents might also show characteristics from more than one parenting style, what parents need to realize is the effect that these parenting techniques have on their children. Parents need to be aware of the fact that every step in parenting and every action they take is watched and processed by their children. Children often try and imitate the habits and characteristics of their parents and hence one of the most important elements in parenting is leading by example. Love your child, respect your child, teach him what is good and bad, give him the right to question, encourage independent behavior and monitor your child’s growth by being a facilitator instead of being the control freak or the intruder.

Did you like this article? Looking out for more related articles? Read about Parenting Teenagers.