Pants Shopping Adventure (Part 2)

The pants I'd selected were almost a perfect fit. It was as if the manufacturers of this set of trousers designed them specifically for my pelvis and legs. They were snug, cool, and showed just enough of my bulge to make any woman desperate for what lay beneath the dark fabric. I smiled crudely and stepped out of the dressing room to get a second opinion from the woman working the department.

At the sight of me in the new trousers, the horrible shrew burst out into a fit of laughter. Then, to my dismay, she summoned another younger woman from the lingerie department to observe me as well. At first, I assumed she was laughing with joy because one of the products she sold fit so well and looked so amazing on a ravishing young man such as myself, but I quickly realized that for some reason, she was laughing in amusement and cruelty. I turned red with anger and shouted at the stupid woman, letting my voice carry through the store like the bellow of a bull elephant.

"Cease your immature laughter at once, you terrible waste of a job!" I screamed at the guffawing witch. "Can't you see that these pants fit me perfectly? If you do not stop what you're doing this instant, I may be forced to take my business elsewhere!!"

The woman attempted in vain to stop the laughter from pouring from her gaping maw but she failed. She spoke to me in what sounded like the cries of a dying hyena.

"Sir..." she spouted between vulgar outbursts of laughter, "Those are women's pants! They go to that pant suit over there! The one that you threw to the floor when you took it off the rack?" And with that, she continued to laugh at me. "And you should put your shirt back on sir"

I glanced down and realized that, in my excitement, I had neglected to put my shirt back on when I left the changing room. My hairy nipples stood proud for all to see and my bulbous gut protruded grossly over the waistline of the new pants. In addition, the tip of my penis was plainly visible as it sat pinned between the waistline and my fat stomach, pointed towards the sky like some terrible rocket ship ready for takeoff. I grimaced and dashed back into the changing room, hearing the laughter continue behind me.

After hiding in the changing room for over an hour, waiting for the foul women employees to forget about my embarrassing mistake and go back to work, I emerged, wearing my original pants and carrying my Sonic cup. I sidled quietly through racks of clothing and to the men's department. I still don't know how I managed to find myself in the women's... It was probably due to the fact that I'd seen a very attractive looking female and instinctively wandered towards her, thus finding myself shopping in the wrong section of the store. After talking to her for several minutes, I realized that it was, in fact, a manican and embarrassed, I'd continued shopping quietly, continuing to cast lusty gazes in her direction as I shopped.

The men's department was quite a bit easier to navigate than the women's. I quickly found several pairs of pants that appealed to me and, after trying them on, I slung them over my shoulder and headed for the register.

The sales clerk rung them up for me and to my horror, I realized that they were far more expensive than I had realized. The change in my Sonic cup was nowhere near enough to cover the expense. I regretfully apologized and headed back to the men's department, pants in hand. That's when a shrewd plan popped into my head.

I reentered the men's changing room and took off my pants. Then, I put on all four pairs of new pants, one on top of the other. After that, I put back on the pants that I had worn to the store that day and looked at myself in the mirror. At a glance, the store employees would be none the wiser. My pelvis and legs appeared to be quite hefty, but that could easily be explained by a genetic disorder or obesity. Walking normally was a bit difficult, bit I'm sure I could manage until I got back out to my car. I stepped out of the dressing room and headed for the door. As I crossed the threshold, alarms rang out around me.

It turns out that some new form of technology was being utilized that detects when merchandise that hasn't been paid for tries to exit the store. Unfortunately, I fell victim to this brutal new technology and was arrested for shoplifting. I am still forced to wear the horrible pants that I've owned for many years and I don't see that changing anywhere in the near future due to the fact that the store I "shoplifted" from was the store that I work security at and I was callously fired on the spot. I guess I should've noticed that when I walked in. Damned manican.