Pain is an Illusion - Connections Make It Real

The other day I got to thinking about connections. The kind of connections you have with people, and not objects that come with a warranty or guarantee card. Something life changing happened recently to me, sending tremors through my core that could only mean an addition to one of life's many cruel lessons. How is it that people connect to other people in ways only explainable if you were one of the two? It's like invisible nerve endings attached to the other ultimately making the two seemingly inseparable over time.

Is it possible to find one person that changes you forever? I know that for a fact, and as the absolute truth. You can't move from point A to B without somehow forcing yourself to make that decision that you have to let it go. The easiest ones to let go of are the bad connections. The bad ones make you certain that there is absolutely nothing worth holding onto; be it from within or in your head; but they scar you anyway, changing - altering what you thought was right or what you convinced yourself was genuine.

I don't know if any of you have had connections where losing someone felt like losing an arm or a leg in a hit and run accident (I'm sure many have). You're handicapped; and life seems like this impossible venture to continue. I'm not saying that's it's a trip to suicide land; I'm just saying that now, you're a whole new person; with redefined perspectives about everything including how you have to help yourself wake up the next morning and drag your depressed self to work - or even to get grub down your system.

The fact is that; there are people out there who are narcissistic and don't give a rat's ass about you or the repercussions of their actions. We're all in this together; like one common link to the other (total BS). Good connections are those links that strike you down; whipping you into a frenzy of emotional chaos that you can't help but get caught in- and then what; you're back on the streets, lonely and so-called 'smarter' about the choices you make, only to make bigger mistakes or get screwed over by bad karma.

I hate it when people assume that when something's over; you can immediately go back to late nightouts and luncheons in your favorite hangout. It's never over- because the worst part is dealing with it for the rest of your given days here on this planet. Why are you sad; why are you so quiet; everything is over now, cheer up; it'll all be fine; stop thinking about it; let's go out and eat; I mean come on, where's the damn sympathy? At least give the person their space if nothing else. I'm sure many of you have heard these phrases over and over again from people you wish you could shoot in the head; but then you calm yourself down and accept reason, that they don't know how any of it feels unless they were to experience it firsthand.

One movie that I simply loved with respect to connections was James Cameron's movie in 2009, 'Avatar'. Everything from the script to the visuals depicted how connections were made not just between people but within the elements that surround us; making the natives in the movie realize that respect for these ties was what made life itself. It's like James Cameron was looking for a way to reach out to audiences that needed a wakening to see that you don't make a connection, and then kill it. Some connections have to be broken; because sometimes you just can't stand the person you're with (because it was all wrong to begin with; no wonder it's so crappy). One day they're this way, the next another - it's stressful. I'm talking connections where there are no flaws except that made up by the mind itself.

Anyone notice how you can immediately spot when the connection is something you cannot relate to? You can't saturate yourself with this person's inner being. It's like trying to make a connection with a tree or a bench in the park. You know it in your bones; and in your gut; and when someone tells you that you can find it elsewhere some day in the future; throw it back in their face and justify your stance where you can't help being the person you are; and what you've experienced (that unique strand of memory) comes but once in a lifetime (it's like you know years from now it'd still be fresh, and not wither over time). Compromising that for others is not what real people do; real people want their ruptured connections to be happy elsewhere - but they in turn need to respect the fact that the old connection for you still stays put and has changed you as a person and it's a part of you for life no matter where it takes you without that person (sigh).

All I can say is that we make new connections, we have old ones; and we wish we didn't have the bad ones around- at the end of the day keeping the best ones; the good ones, is what matters the most. Heaving that tattered bag of hope over my shoulder, I go where my kismet takes me.

Happy connecting.