Overcome Jealousy in a Relationship

As a child, as an adolescent, as a young lover or as a seasoned spouse, we all have and will be struck by jealousy, one of the most common emotions which when creeps into a relationship has the most devastating effect. A little bit of jealousy is OK. Some even view it as a sign as his/her partner's love. However, when this feeling crosses the boundary of rationality, you can consider it as a death knell of a healthy relationship. I agree it is not as easy as it sounds, but we all should know how to overcome jealousy in a relationship as in most cases the origin is more psychological than factual.

Has My Jealousy Reached Harmful Limit?

• Is it really his work that keeps him so late in office?
• Why does he talk so much about that female colleague of his?
• Why did he thank that waitress at the restaurant?

Do these questions sound similar to the ones that often crop up in your mind? And do they bother you? Well if the answer to the first question is 'yes' then probably things are not that bad. But if the answer to the second question is a confident YES, then my friend, you need to take stock of the situation. You need to learn how to stop being jealous.

Questions and doubts may keep springing up in our minds. But the trick lies in how we approach and deal with them. The problem with the feeling of jealousy is that it is so intense that it robs us of our ability to think rationally. May be your partner really liked the food and he wanted to express his satisfaction. Do you want him to enter the restaurant's kitchen and personally thank the cook every time he enjoys his dinner? You also know that, that particular female colleague of your partner's is very efficient in her work. The whole office admits that. Why do you overlook that fact when your partner praises her? You were aware from the first day you met him, that his job requires him to occasionally stay late in office. Then why doubt him for that? It all lies in the way we think and see things than things being really wrong. Here are some ways of dealing with jealousy in a relationship.

How to Overcome Jealousy in a Relationship?

Recognize the Cause
In most of the cases, jealousy stems from a feeling of insecurity. Understanding this fact is most important for overcoming jealousy in a relationship. Behind the initial rage at your partner appreciating some one else, lurks the fear of losing him/her. But why would your partner leave you? Do you think that the other person is more attractive or smarter? He/she might be in some cases but there are those that you are better at. Try to recognize your strengths and accept the fact that if your partner loves you and is with you, it's because he/she likes you the way you are. If you are really in love, you would easily know if your partner also loves you truly or not.

Spoil Yourself
Does self indulgence sound crazy at such a situation of intense crisis? Believe me, spoiling yourself may work wonders at such times. Not only does it take one's mind off the thoughts of doubting his/her partner, it also elevates the mood. One could also acquire some skills at this time. Join salsa classes or learn a language. This is time well spent and also who knows your partner may just appreciate you all the more for your new achievements!

Understand Your Partner
I am not one of jealous kinds. No, I really mean it. But during the initial phase of my relationship, I would feel a little uncomfortable about my fiancé appreciating other girls (though I must admit they were all pretty ones). After he sensed my discomfort he said, "Look, appreciate and forget". Well that was his mantra and so it is with most men. He told me, "There is no harm in complementing beauty. The problem lies when you get hung up on that thing". I have kept this philosophy in mind and every time a beautiful girl passes by, I break into a smile even before my fiancé can appreciate the girl and we end up laughing and teasing each other at the episode.

Have a Talk
In case you tried all the above mentioned tricks and still can't keep that green eyed monster out of your mind, try this last option - TALK to your partner. Tell him or her what is the limit till which you would be comfortable with him appreciating another person. Let him know which behavior of his upsets you. May be while you talk he will explain his take on the subject that would ease your nerves for good. There are different answers to the question, how to deal with jealousy. A couple needs to understand which works best for them.

Is That the End?

All the suggestions about how to overcome jealousy in relationships were based on the assumption that all your feelings were influenced by your perception of the situation and were not backed with real events. However, this might not be the case with everyone. Sometimes infidelity does lie behind one's feeling of jealousy. In such a case it's again communication that can help you. Talk out the situation with your partner before it erupts into a complicated relationship issue. If you can sort it out by talking, good. Otherwise you should know when to end a relationship.

Know more on:

• Relationship Advice
• Relationship Advice For Women

For long it was believed that jealousy was a woman's domain. But we all know that both men and women need to be able to overcome jealousy in a relationship. I have come to the end of the article and I would reiterate what I have emphasized earlier as well - 'the doubt lurks more in the mind than it actually is'. Learn to see the truth. Teach yourself how not to be jealous. Or else you might just miss the best moments of your life.