One Liners on Life

Life is full of many strange aspects that are beyond human comprehension. 'Never take life seriously, no one gets out alive', is a good one liner on life that inspires people to be positive with life. In this article we shall read some really funny one liners on life that will help you see life in a new light.

One Liners that Make A Difference

There are many one liners help give the summation of life in just a few words. If you have put up a sign, "Mental backup in progress-Do Not Disturb!" on your desktop, then continue reading. We have covered many one liners that will help take away the mental block you are currently suffering from and bring back the lost humor in your life.

The one liner sayings in the following table are said by people like you and me. Life is full of surprises, so let us enjoy it and savor all its flavors happily.

Funny One Liners On Life
					Once we had Clinton, Johnny Cash and Bob Hope. Now we have Bush, no Cash and no Hope. Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot. Laughingstock: cattle with a sense of humor. Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, "Where the heck is the ceiling?!" Learn from your parents' mistakes; use birth control. "Seven days without laughter makes one weak." Logic is the art of going wrong with confidence. "My cousin is gay; in school while other kids were dissecting frog, he was opening flies." ~ Rodney Dangerfield I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police. I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me alone! A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. Where there's a will, there are five hundred relatives. I like work..It fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours. Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing. You can read more on funniest one liners.

Humorous One Liners on Life and Love
					They lived happily until they got married. I went alone on our honeymoon. My wife had already seen Niagara Falls. It was love at first sight. Then I took a second look !! "One good thing about being wrong is the joy it brings to the others." "Has there been any insanity in your family?". "Yes, doctor. My husband thinks he's the boss." Why did you hit your husband with a chair?". "I couldn't lift the table." A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life, to be thankful for a good one. Memory is what tells a man his wedding anniversary was yesterday. "Whoever angers you, conquers you." An unmarried man has no buttons on his shirt. A married man has no shirt. Behind every successful man, there is a woman - And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two! Every man/woman should marry - After all, happiness is not the only thing in life. The wise never marry - And when they marry they become otherwise.

Wity One Liner Quotes
					Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home. Always be sincere, even if you don't mean it A clear conscience is merely the result of bad memory. No good deed goes unpunished. For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism. Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand. Be generous to those who need your help Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.

Sarcastic One Liners on Life
					When climbing the ladder of success, don't let boys look up your skirt! My job is secure. No one else wants it. Early to bed, early to rise makes people suspicious. Depression n. - Anger without enthusiasm. Do infants have as much fun in infancy as adults do in adultery? Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you are a mile away and you have their shoes. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket. If you think nobody cares if you are alive, try missing a couple of car payments. Never miss a good chance to shut up. Experience is something you do not get until just after you need it.

Sad One Liners
					By the time you learn the rules of life, you're too old to play the game. Death is a part of life. It's just a lot less scary and painful than the rest of it. Death is life's way of telling you you're fired. Don't measure your life by how many breaths you take, measure it by how many times you get your breath taken away. I rather lose a second in my life, than my life in a second.

Inspirational One Liners on Life
					FEAR nothing Jealousy and envy ... are deadly to the mind It is better to light one candle than to curse the darkness. Books are not men and yet they stay alive. Whenever an individual or a business decides that success has been attained, progress stops. Not he who has much is rich, but he who gives much. It is a wise child that knows his own father. Making a bad decision is better than making no decision at all. "Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless." ~ Mother Teresa Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up. Whether you think you can or whether you think you can't, you're right.

One Liners on Attitude
					I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem. No sense in being pessimistic, it probably wouldn't work anyway... I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me... Some people are wise, and some are otherwise. It's your aptitude not just your attitude that determines your ultimate altitude. I fear my inferiority complex is not as good as yours. People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them Benjamin Franklin said it first. If I throw a stick, will you go away? I don't need your attitude I have one of my own.

One Liners on Love
					A sweetheart is a bottle of wine, a wife is a wine bottle. Now join your hands, and with your hands your hearts. "Love goes toward love". ~ William Shakespeare "To love is to receive a glimpse of heaven". ~ Karen Sunde Love starts with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a tear. I am someone else when I'm with you, someone more like myself.

One Liner Quotes On Life
					Failure is always temporary, only giving up makes it permanent. A healthy attitude is contagious but don't wait to catch it from others. Be a carrier. Every form of happiness is private. Our greatest moments are personal, self-motivated, not to be touched." Most of our suspicions of others are aroused by our knowledge of ourselves. My parents worked hard to give us everything money could not buy. Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up. A penny will hide the biggest star in the universe if you hold it close enough to your eye. Keep your face to the sunshine and you can never see the shadow. We choose our joys and sorrows long before we experience them.

These are some good one liners on life that helps one overcome the tragedies in life and find comedy in difficult times. One of my favorite one liners is, "Conclusion: the place where you got tired of thinking." I hope these one liners on life has brought a smile on your face. This article was written with one sole aim in mind, to help you 'Smile, it increases your face value.'