Of Boys and Price Tags

Sometimes you come to know things you wish you had never come to know. Things take such an unexpected turn that that is exactly what it remains for us till the end of time - unexpected. We cannot make up our minds about what happened, or why it happened. We fail to understand how we could have been so blind, so unaware of what was coming our way... but then wasn't it me who wanted to ignore the bad and give the good in you a chance? Yes, it was my choice; one that I made completely on my own. Nobody pushed me into it. Nobody forced me to do what I did. So why does it hurt so much?

There are scores of things in life that hurt us like only they can - losing a friend, losing your love, being disillusioned. But above all this, what hurts the most is when people turn out to be just what you were hoping they would never turn out to be. You hope and pray and wish it shouldn't rain today and it does. You are hoping your favorite character in a novel is not the actual culprit, and he or she turns out to be exactly that. You think it is only you falling in love with your best friend, only to realize your best friend has fallen in love with you too. You do not want these things to happen. But somewhere you just know it deep down inside of you that they are going to happen, much against our wish.

I recently came to know things about my best friend that I wish, I had never come to know. It hurts the most when people you hold so highly in your life turn out to be the most crooked, sadistic and bitching people you could have ever known. And it shames you to think you actually counted that person among your closest friends at one point of time. I always like to see and believe in the good in people. I am not someone who can speak ill of someone I regard as a true friend, no matter how many bad qualities the person may have. But sometimes this quality of mine gets me into so much trouble and leaves me so thoroughly disillusioned that I cannot even begin to tell you what it feels like when it happens. How could my best friend - who I thought of as a warm, kind, helping and intellectual person - actually engage in such petty things as back-biting, bitching, and rude and absolutely immoral conduct? Someone who was at one point so close and dear to me only turned out to be just another girl in the crowd.

I was expecting too much? May be. But I really wonder sometimes - do things like friendship, trust, bonding, sharing mean nothing to such girls? I mean what kind of a person makes fun of her boyfriend's insecurities among her gal-pals? What kind of a girl bitches about one friend to another and about the latter with the former? I know there is a stark possibility that I am sounding judgmental here, and many of you girls out there will not agree with what I am saying. But it really saddens me to realize that that is exactly what life is all about to some girls - boys and price tags. The greatest joy in their lives is probably when they come to know a guy likes them, or has been eying them or wanting to date them. They probably just go out and buy themselves a flashy bag or a fancy pair of footwear to get over a broken heart. How can someone be so shallow? Or have I gone too deep?

It is always good to awaken to the truth about anything - the world, people, yourself. No matter how late you wake up, no matter how hard it hits you, no matter how deeply it shakes you, it is good. Living a life of illusions is never nice. So, my friend, I thank you for being the b%$#@ - now I know where I stand in your mind, your life, and that you do not stand anywhere in mine. But even then I will wish that someday you will see what you are doing is wrong. It's like when a batsman hits the ball coming his way - he doesn't use strength, he only contacts the ball with his bat so as to change the direction of its momentum. That is what I have done - turned the bad things I learned about you into good changes in my life. Deal with problems this way, and soon you will run out of problems to deal with. Cheerio!