Ode to the PT Cruiser

Two friends departed on a trip
One fine autumnal day
The PT Cruiser was their ship
What more need I say?

The Cruiser made it all the way
A thousand miles of work
Upon the highway it did stay
Not once did Cruiser shirk

Salt Lake, Moab, Blanding
Natural Bridges, so inviting
To Bluff and then a landing
In Monument Valley, so exciting

Grand Canyon on the Northern side
And then on to old Kanab
Then Angel’s Landing, Zion’s pride
With fear our hearts did grab

The Cruiser stayed in tab and trim
While the two friends rambled on
What a ride, so smooth and prim
It was a PT Cruiser marathon!

My ride of choice for another trip?
If I get to be the chooser
And at the risk of sounding flip
I’d choose the PT Cruiser!

But shake, rattle and roll
Is not what it seems to be
It’s not music for the soul
And it’s not a symphony

The PT Cruiser didn’t shirk
But after a thousand miles
My back and ears refused to work
And my mouth no longer smiles

The horn I honked
And it did stick
My nerves were really bonked
What a dirty Detroit trick!

Yes, I love the PT Cruiser
I’d rent her once again
I’m a shake, rattle and roll loser
And the cheapest among men

Most folks think that PT
Means something Pretty Tough
Well isn’t that a pity
‘Cause that’s just so much fluff

PT rattles like a snake
She creeps like slimy snails
Put on her power brake
And hold on while she fails

Oh, and never honk her horn
Because it will never stop
It will stick and become a thorn
And you will blow your top

PT may be a mania
She may have bewitched many
But she’s the Lusitania
And she’s sinking like a penny

Millions say that she is spunky
But I really beg to differ
I think she’s just skunky
And the last runt of the litter

So buy your PT Cruisers
You piggly wiggly sinners
And make yourselves big losers
While I drive with the winners

Yes, I’ll just drive myself to work
In my little white, light truck
And consider it a perk
That my ride looks like a duck