Not Wanted There

I am not wanted here
I am not wanted there
I am an idiot
I fucked it all up
I messed up her life
I messed up my own life
I am not there
When she needs me
I am never around
She must think when
I say I love her I am lying
I live a lie
Every day is a lie
I can't take it any more
I want this shit to end I hate
Myself I hate my life when will all this bullshit end
I know it will end with a bang
From my own gun
Or a f*cking towel heads
Is not determined yet
I am just waiting biding time I am going to die some day
Or am I just going to watch all my friends kill themselves