Not Registering for School, Registering for Life

Have you ever regretted not finishing something you’ve begun? I can vividly remember standing in the registration line my junior year of college and thinking to myself, "I don’t want to do this anymore." I had two years of academia under my belt where I experienced falling in love, unlimited freedom and had no confidence if the major I had chosen would bring me the wealth and riches the recruiter promised me. I had since lost interest in the love, overdosed on the freedom concept, decided that I did not want to continue with my major or spend another year in the dorm. Regardless, I was not returning home. There were too many rules at home that I felt I had outgrown. Strangely enough the thought to pull out of school was not as strong on my mind until I was smack dead in the middle of the pandemonium of registration day. Crowds of returning students scurrying around in what seemed like organized confusion. There were people holding up lines greeting each other like the summer hiatus was an eternity. The book store was overpopulated with people handicapped by the large purchases made in preparation for that HGTV dorm room transformation. I wasn’t feeling it.

I had no blank check in hand or dorm room assignment plus I found myself being directed to the financial aid office. I had enough! I had to tell my parents I wanted out. The courage to make that phone call was accompanied by the fact that if there was opposition all I had to do was return to the back of the line. So I took that dead man walking journey to the phone and dialed the house number; each ring seemed as though it was lingering a tad bit longer than usual, and I heard my mother’s voice. My mom has this way of answering the phone with a very high pitched hello. Once she discovers who is on the other end, she can quickly switch to a tone of disinterest if she wishes she hadn’t answered. She seemed excited so before the mood shifted I seized the opportunity to deliver my opening statement. "Ma I don’t think I am getting anything out of this school and I just don’t want to waste any more of your money. I have decided to not go back." Surprisingly she took a moment and responded with an alright, It’s your life. Alright? It couldn’t be this easy. I proceeded to tell her about my on the fly plans of staying in Providence, and getting a job. I could tell by the silence that there was not need to proceed any further. We said our good byes I hung up, looked around and I exited the building.

What I now realize is her quick response to allow me to pull out of school was not just for my declaration of independence but hers too. She was now one child free, declaring independence herself and she immediately stopped my money train. I had to get that on the fly game plan into effect. First step, I had to get a better job. I soon discovered the world of temp agencies and I was good at it. No job beneath me, I registered with the top four and kept busy. I found myself washing the delicates of Ivy leaguers at the neighborhood drop off Laundromat, telemarketing the latest opportunities of home loan refinancing and the crème de la crop job, or so I thought at the time, working for one of the largest toy manufacturers as a data entry clerk. Some of these experiences have been milestones, others a waste of my time. However, they all have brought me work experience; a very valuable asset that I felt no college education could bring me. My ability to move up the ranks to positions of power afforded me large salary increases and I soon found myself making more money than my ex classmates who braved the four year journey.

What I did not realize at the time was the decision to get off that line had left me with an underlining incomplete feeling that would remind me of my drop out status every time I filled out an application, sat in on an interview or updated my resume. I began to hide my status when asked if I had attended college and cringed at the questions of whether I received a degree. I did not quite grasp the empty feelings until I began to have reoccurring dreams or better yet nightmares of me being left out of commencement ceremony. There were times when I entertained going back to school. I was constantly given words of encouragement here or there from friends and family. I also entertained utilizing the company reimbursement programs, but the demands of the job and home life left me no time. I regret not making it work! I figured I had done just fine with out a degree. I had my stronghold on the corporate world, I learned the do’s and the don’ts and I managed to hang in there until this past year. The corporate world took my white collar and handed me a pink slip! My years of learning the do’s and don’ts, the rules of networking and my 21 years of strategy wasn’t enough for me to keep my job. I wasn’t devastated because I had grown dissatisfied with my working conditions and the politics of my employers, but I wasn’t prepared. The unemployment office was packed with pink slip recipients; those with degrees and those with out. This was going to be a challenge, no on the fly decisions to be made here. I got myself a life coach, worked on the inside issues, identified what I wanted and learned how to process and proceed. I was motivated and my spirituality grew stronger. "When one door closes, another one opens" was the cliché of the moment!

I can say I saw the door open for me when I received that letter from the Department of Labor encouraging me to return back to school. I truly felt this was a divine intervention. There would be assistance in the financial obligation so the dreaded financial aid office visit would not be an obstacle for me. The fact that I would be able to undo any ill thought decisions made in my youth was an awesome opportunity I could not pass up again. I decided to get my degree in speech pathology and pursue my passion for writing as well. I predict those dreaded dreams of days gone by are gone for good. I’ve learned that it’s never too late to reinvent yourself and do what you regret you did not get done. There is a time and place and a season for everything. I am wiser and more patient and ready for life challenges. When I called my mom to tell her the news, she exhumed excitement and told me the sky’s the limit! So it’s official, Sign me up!