Nightmares Are Normal, But Parents Can Help Their Children Cope

What Are Nightmares?
Nightmares are a normal part of growing up, and in fact serve a valuable purpose. As the subconscious mind creates troubling dreams, new situations or new sources of stress are confronted and reconciled. When the child has a nightmare, it’s actually the psyche adjusting to these challenges and "rinsing itself" of anxiety. Nightmares are most common after a troubling ordeal or event, and may continue for months afterwards. As a function of the child’s imagination, they may also occur after experiencing particularly strong imagery or sensations.

For most children, one nightmare a week is not uncommon, and one in four children will have multiple nightmares in the same time period. Unfortunately for parents, nightmares occur after the child has been asleep for some time – usually between four and six AM. The frequency usually declines and sometimes disappears as children enter their teenage years.

Recognizing Calls For Help
Some parents may feel impatience that smaller children are not terrified so much as demanding attention. Child psychologists warn that very young children lack the sophistication to devise such subterfuge. By listening to the child’s noises, parents can determine if the child simply wants to be entertained or if the distress is genuine. Crying and whining may be a call for company. Screaming and wailing are signs that something more legitimate is happening, and that parents should hurry to their child’s assistance.

Childproofing your home at night is also an excellent safety precaution. Most small toddlers have nightmares resulting from separation anxiety – getting disconnected form the safety of their parents’ supervision. A child waking from a nightmare and searching for you in the darkened house may encounter any number of accidents. Make sure all staircases are gated off and the floors are clear of any objects that could cause tripping and falling.

Nightmares occur most frequently when a child isn’t getting enough sleep. Making sure your child is consistently getting enough sleep each night will likely also decrease the intensity and frequency of the nightmares.

Helping Your Child Overcome
Children are far from powerless to fight nightmares, and parents can be their biggest allies. The most important response immediately after the nightmare occurs is reassurance. Parents should sit with the child until the panic and fear have subsided. Turning on a nightlight is also healthy. However, parents should avoid inviting the child to spend the night in their bed. This gives the subtle impression that the child’s own bed is not safe. It may also erode feelings of self-sufficiency elsewhere in the child’s life. A security object, such as a teddy bear, is a great surrogate and lets the child feel protected as sleep returns.

The day following the nightmare, parents should talk with their child and encourage them to take control of the nightmare if it happens again, shifting its details and providing a new, happy ending for the nightmare’s events. This allows a sense that the nightmare can be overcome and that the child isn’t powerless.

Getting Outside Help
If nightmares persist, seeking the advice of a doctor or child psychiatrist may become necessary. They may wish to talk with your child and help uncover the nightmares’ roots and provide a means of reconciling the underlying anxiety.

Michael Kabel is senior staff writer for http://www.cornerstorkbabygifts.com. Stop by for parenting and baby resources, unique baby gifts, baby gift baskets and baby shower favors.

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