News Chapter 4
She finally finds the courage, but what will this rolling stone say?
What an insane feeling. I couldn't remember too many times kissing anyone where I didn't want to do it. Sure there had been spin-the-bottle games back in junior high, where I got stuck kissing the ugliest guy there. But this was wrong. I was too mad. I was too upset. I was too everything except excited about kissing him. He felt it and pulled away. "Tell me why you're crying. Maybe I can help." I sniffled and said, "We need to go back to the hotel."
Another silent cable car ride preceded a silent elevator ride and a silent walk to my hotel room. Once inside the room, I sat down on the bed and pulled out my photo album. My hands were trembling, and he smiled when he saw it. I thought to myself, "The asshole thinks I am nervous about him being here. And I am, but not for the reason he’s thinking.
I started going through the pictures, pausing for a moment of reflection on some and passing others by without even looking at them fully. I got to the sonogram picture, and I stopped. He saw it and smiled, "Oh cool! Who’s having a baby?" He took the picture and looked at it. "A boy, huh? Wow. I want a little boy one day, but who’s…" His voice trailed off. He saw the name on the photo. My name.
His voice was much quieter, almost timid. He halfway choked when he asked me, "You’re pregnant?" I wanted to punch him. God I wanted to punch the shit out of him and then choke him. But all I could do was nod as more tears rolled down my face, and then I mustered out the last thing this young stud ever wanted to hear.
"He’s yours."
His next question prompted what I blamed on the hormones. "How can you be sure?" Looking back, I could have simply explained the facts and left it at that. But my hand moved too quickly, and my mouth was too eager to spew out loud, hateful things. The sting left a hand print across the entire left side of his face. As he gingerly brought his hand up to the mark, I was screaming. I don’t know how much of it he heard.
"How can you ask me something like that? You think I would have flown all the way across the fucking country to tell you I was having a baby that wasn’t yours? You’re the only person I’ve been with for over a damn year and this baby is only sixteen weeks into existence. That was right before you ran off. You remember that? I woke up in the morning and you weren’t there. I didn’t know where the hell you had gone, and you wouldn’t answer your phone. I had to track you down with the help of the newest addition to your fan club. She and your parents told me where you were. I came here to tell you that the fun is over and you need to come home. So help me, if this baby isn’t yours it’s an immaculate conception. Now if you’ll excuse me he’s kicking my bladder, so I’ll be right back."
I was angry. I couldn’t help it. I felt like I had been called a slut. When I emerged from the bathroom, he was still holding the picture. He looked up at me with a face which was now as tear-stained as mine.
"You're having a baby. We're having a baby. This is so sudden, I mean, all the times before we never worried about condoms and you were on birth control and I didn't think there was a chance after so long, but, we're having a baby."
I wanted to smack him upside the head and say, "DUH!" But I didn't. I just stood there staring at him like he was speaking Greek. It seemed to be effective, because he started crying again. He asked something he had never asked of me through all the time I'd known him. "Will you come sit beside me?"
I sat down on the bed but did not touch him. He gingerly placed the picture on the bedside table, handling it as if it were made of glass. "Is he still moving?" As if on cue, he stirred, making me have to use the restroom again but I didn't move other than to nod. He placed his hand on my stomach. "Is that him, the fluttering?" I nodded again. I said, "You can probably hear his heart beating, too." I laid down, and he placed his head lightly on my stomach. He smiled brightly. "That is so cool! Can we name him Thumper?"
When I hit him that time it wasn't as hard, but it still got my point across.
Another silent cable car ride preceded a silent elevator ride and a silent walk to my hotel room. Once inside the room, I sat down on the bed and pulled out my photo album. My hands were trembling, and he smiled when he saw it. I thought to myself, "The asshole thinks I am nervous about him being here. And I am, but not for the reason he’s thinking.
I started going through the pictures, pausing for a moment of reflection on some and passing others by without even looking at them fully. I got to the sonogram picture, and I stopped. He saw it and smiled, "Oh cool! Who’s having a baby?" He took the picture and looked at it. "A boy, huh? Wow. I want a little boy one day, but who’s…" His voice trailed off. He saw the name on the photo. My name.
His voice was much quieter, almost timid. He halfway choked when he asked me, "You’re pregnant?" I wanted to punch him. God I wanted to punch the shit out of him and then choke him. But all I could do was nod as more tears rolled down my face, and then I mustered out the last thing this young stud ever wanted to hear.
"He’s yours."
His next question prompted what I blamed on the hormones. "How can you be sure?" Looking back, I could have simply explained the facts and left it at that. But my hand moved too quickly, and my mouth was too eager to spew out loud, hateful things. The sting left a hand print across the entire left side of his face. As he gingerly brought his hand up to the mark, I was screaming. I don’t know how much of it he heard.
"How can you ask me something like that? You think I would have flown all the way across the fucking country to tell you I was having a baby that wasn’t yours? You’re the only person I’ve been with for over a damn year and this baby is only sixteen weeks into existence. That was right before you ran off. You remember that? I woke up in the morning and you weren’t there. I didn’t know where the hell you had gone, and you wouldn’t answer your phone. I had to track you down with the help of the newest addition to your fan club. She and your parents told me where you were. I came here to tell you that the fun is over and you need to come home. So help me, if this baby isn’t yours it’s an immaculate conception. Now if you’ll excuse me he’s kicking my bladder, so I’ll be right back."
I was angry. I couldn’t help it. I felt like I had been called a slut. When I emerged from the bathroom, he was still holding the picture. He looked up at me with a face which was now as tear-stained as mine.
"You're having a baby. We're having a baby. This is so sudden, I mean, all the times before we never worried about condoms and you were on birth control and I didn't think there was a chance after so long, but, we're having a baby."
I wanted to smack him upside the head and say, "DUH!" But I didn't. I just stood there staring at him like he was speaking Greek. It seemed to be effective, because he started crying again. He asked something he had never asked of me through all the time I'd known him. "Will you come sit beside me?"
I sat down on the bed but did not touch him. He gingerly placed the picture on the bedside table, handling it as if it were made of glass. "Is he still moving?" As if on cue, he stirred, making me have to use the restroom again but I didn't move other than to nod. He placed his hand on my stomach. "Is that him, the fluttering?" I nodded again. I said, "You can probably hear his heart beating, too." I laid down, and he placed his head lightly on my stomach. He smiled brightly. "That is so cool! Can we name him Thumper?"
When I hit him that time it wasn't as hard, but it still got my point across.
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