Never Again - Chapter 1 (By the Author of Just Don't Leave)
Chapter one..Please comment and vote!!
She walked along the side of the road, earbuds in, sleeves rolled up. She had her long blonde hair pulled back into a careless pony tail that swished behind her as she walked. In her own world, walking aimlessly down the road. Onlookers saw an innocent young girl, friends and family saw the same. She'd been an actress in her own life for long enough.
"How did your Social Studies test go, Jennifer?"my mom asked impatiently.
"Fine"I replied
"Are you going to audition for the play this year?"
"Maybe, I'm not sure yet."I answered, trying to escape her interrogations. This was how I lived my life, I, Jenn Fisher lived life avoiding my family. And friends. Or, people who were eager to be a friend of mine. Those who were brave enough to seek my rejection. Every night I sneak out of my house to walk down the stretch of highway where my (former) best friend, Celia committed suicide. For a while, I contemplated making the same drastic move towards the afterlife, but I just couldn't do it. I wasn't willing to make friends, because I knew at one point I would run out into the steady line of fast-moving cars and end it all. I didn't want to leave anyone behind, like Celia left me, because I know that feeling, and its pretty damn shitty.
At first you blame yourself for not being a good enough friend, then you're just depressed. Then you remember all the things you didn't say often enough. Then you start having nightmares. Not the kind with clowns and haunted houses; the kind where she comes back and makes your life complete...until you wake up. These lasted about 3 weeks, until I figured that I wasn't ever going to get a good night's sleep, so I walked along the side of the highway. Even in the winter, I spent my late nights and early mornings out on the highway. Sometimes I listened to my iPod, if I'd just woken up from the dreams, to calm myself down. Otherwise, I was out there just walking. Sometimes I sat on the concrete barriers and sketched the sky, or even just the cars driving by.
My parents didn't know about my late-night adventures, or they'd lock me in my room and tie me to my bed. Consequently, that's how most everything I do ends up having to be a secret.
"JENN!! IS THAT YOU?!?! JENN!??!? JENN FISHER?" Marcus Bailley yelled out drunkenly from the window of his pickup truck.
He pulled over to the side of the road and got out of his truck. My eyes were puffy from crying and my hair was a mess. I was in my pajamas. Hey, I wasn't expecting someone I knew to be out driving at 1 a.m.
"Awh. Jenn why ya cryin'?"
"Go away Marcus, I want to be alone."I said, staring at the blood stain on the concrete road. This was the exact spot where Celia took her last breath.
"Jenn? What's the matter?Jenn? Are you drunk? Jenn? Do you need a ride home?"
"MARCUS. My house is right over there."I pointed.
"Oh....Well then why are you out here?"
"I needed to be alone. Emphasis on the alone? Yeah. Please leave."
"Ok, but... You know today's Tuesday right? You should probably get to bed... You know. 'Cause of school."
"Marcus, please. I haven't slept since the end of last summer. I'll survive."I answered
"Ok, toughie. If you need someone to talk to, just call me, K?"he said, as he wrote down his phone number on a piece of paper.
"Ok, thanks."
"Jenn."my science teacher said, 5th period on Friday
"Here."I responded.
"Marcus"
"Here."
"Celi--"he almost said. Almost."Err... Jeff"
"Ummm....Here."
"Ok, good. Perfect attendance!"he said, finishing off the attendance list of 29 students,"Well, today we're going to take some notes, then we're going to start our study guide. Your homework for tonight is a worksheet, so you won't need your books."
Groups. We were being assigned groups for our science project. Jeff Marshall was the first person called. I was second. Marcus was third. Together, we were group one. The project had to be created out of class, and it was our responsibility to set a date and place to get together and work on it. This should be fun. Not. In fact, we'll probably end up with a F, because Marcus is hardly ever sober, I can't get enough sleep to do good work, and Jeff is always too nervous to really accomplish anything.
"So, Jenn, are you sleeping again?"Marcus asked after class
"You're not my fucking therapist. Leave me alone."
"Bitch..."he replied under his breath.
"So, hey guys when do you want to get together to do the uhh... the uhh... the.... project?"Jeff asked, stuttering.
"It doesn't matter, I'm not spending any more time than I need to with you freaks."Marcus answered, the comment obviously directed at me.
"What about you Jennifer?"he asked
"Its Jenn."I answered, "Don't ever call me Jennifer."
I had wanted to legally change my name after Celia died, but my mom wouldn't let me. Every time someone called me Jennifer I could hear Celia. If I could, I would go back in time and never have tried out for that commercial. I would have faked sick, or just chickened out. I met Celia at the auditions, and she was one of those fake, pageant toddlers. Except she was 7. Celia was always short and petite, and a cheerleader. Her mom's dream was for Celia to be a model, or professional cheerleader. Celia wanted to be a drummer and dye her hair black. So basically, her mom said she'd rather Celia die than live a life like that (in a few more words) and Celia ended her life.
She went to CVS and bought some hair dye, dyed her hair black, and killed herself. Or, rather, let the oncoming semi kill her.
Only 4 months after Celia committed suicide, her mom adopted a 10 year old girl who strongly resembled Celia, and started entering the girl into pageants. Some people never learn from their mistakes.
"How did your Social Studies test go, Jennifer?"my mom asked impatiently.
"Fine"I replied
"Are you going to audition for the play this year?"
"Maybe, I'm not sure yet."I answered, trying to escape her interrogations. This was how I lived my life, I, Jenn Fisher lived life avoiding my family. And friends. Or, people who were eager to be a friend of mine. Those who were brave enough to seek my rejection. Every night I sneak out of my house to walk down the stretch of highway where my (former) best friend, Celia committed suicide. For a while, I contemplated making the same drastic move towards the afterlife, but I just couldn't do it. I wasn't willing to make friends, because I knew at one point I would run out into the steady line of fast-moving cars and end it all. I didn't want to leave anyone behind, like Celia left me, because I know that feeling, and its pretty damn shitty.
At first you blame yourself for not being a good enough friend, then you're just depressed. Then you remember all the things you didn't say often enough. Then you start having nightmares. Not the kind with clowns and haunted houses; the kind where she comes back and makes your life complete...until you wake up. These lasted about 3 weeks, until I figured that I wasn't ever going to get a good night's sleep, so I walked along the side of the highway. Even in the winter, I spent my late nights and early mornings out on the highway. Sometimes I listened to my iPod, if I'd just woken up from the dreams, to calm myself down. Otherwise, I was out there just walking. Sometimes I sat on the concrete barriers and sketched the sky, or even just the cars driving by.
My parents didn't know about my late-night adventures, or they'd lock me in my room and tie me to my bed. Consequently, that's how most everything I do ends up having to be a secret.
"JENN!! IS THAT YOU?!?! JENN!??!? JENN FISHER?" Marcus Bailley yelled out drunkenly from the window of his pickup truck.
He pulled over to the side of the road and got out of his truck. My eyes were puffy from crying and my hair was a mess. I was in my pajamas. Hey, I wasn't expecting someone I knew to be out driving at 1 a.m.
"Awh. Jenn why ya cryin'?"
"Go away Marcus, I want to be alone."I said, staring at the blood stain on the concrete road. This was the exact spot where Celia took her last breath.
"Jenn? What's the matter?Jenn? Are you drunk? Jenn? Do you need a ride home?"
"MARCUS. My house is right over there."I pointed.
"Oh....Well then why are you out here?"
"I needed to be alone. Emphasis on the alone? Yeah. Please leave."
"Ok, but... You know today's Tuesday right? You should probably get to bed... You know. 'Cause of school."
"Marcus, please. I haven't slept since the end of last summer. I'll survive."I answered
"Ok, toughie. If you need someone to talk to, just call me, K?"he said, as he wrote down his phone number on a piece of paper.
"Ok, thanks."
"Jenn."my science teacher said, 5th period on Friday
"Here."I responded.
"Marcus"
"Here."
"Celi--"he almost said. Almost."Err... Jeff"
"Ummm....Here."
"Ok, good. Perfect attendance!"he said, finishing off the attendance list of 29 students,"Well, today we're going to take some notes, then we're going to start our study guide. Your homework for tonight is a worksheet, so you won't need your books."
Groups. We were being assigned groups for our science project. Jeff Marshall was the first person called. I was second. Marcus was third. Together, we were group one. The project had to be created out of class, and it was our responsibility to set a date and place to get together and work on it. This should be fun. Not. In fact, we'll probably end up with a F, because Marcus is hardly ever sober, I can't get enough sleep to do good work, and Jeff is always too nervous to really accomplish anything.
"So, Jenn, are you sleeping again?"Marcus asked after class
"You're not my fucking therapist. Leave me alone."
"Bitch..."he replied under his breath.
"So, hey guys when do you want to get together to do the uhh... the uhh... the.... project?"Jeff asked, stuttering.
"It doesn't matter, I'm not spending any more time than I need to with you freaks."Marcus answered, the comment obviously directed at me.
"What about you Jennifer?"he asked
"Its Jenn."I answered, "Don't ever call me Jennifer."
I had wanted to legally change my name after Celia died, but my mom wouldn't let me. Every time someone called me Jennifer I could hear Celia. If I could, I would go back in time and never have tried out for that commercial. I would have faked sick, or just chickened out. I met Celia at the auditions, and she was one of those fake, pageant toddlers. Except she was 7. Celia was always short and petite, and a cheerleader. Her mom's dream was for Celia to be a model, or professional cheerleader. Celia wanted to be a drummer and dye her hair black. So basically, her mom said she'd rather Celia die than live a life like that (in a few more words) and Celia ended her life.
She went to CVS and bought some hair dye, dyed her hair black, and killed herself. Or, rather, let the oncoming semi kill her.
Only 4 months after Celia committed suicide, her mom adopted a 10 year old girl who strongly resembled Celia, and started entering the girl into pageants. Some people never learn from their mistakes.
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