Narcissistic Husband

I am a narcissist. I love myself, above everything else. My narcissistic traits have convinced me that I am incapable of loving anything or anyone, more than myself. However, my narcissism has never stopped me from being loved or loving someone else. There is a plethora of women out there, who would disagree with me. The biggest reason for this disagreement, is a negative perception of narcissism.

The dictionary says, narcissism is, 'an exceptional interest in and admiration for yourself'. So, if a narcissist loves himself so much, why would he do anything to hurt himself and put his interests in danger, considering that you are his interest? If you can look a little deeper into the traits of your narcissistic husband, it would save the larger picture from being washed away in the deluge of dysfunctional household.

Narcissistic Spouse Traits - A Reality Check

He Always Cares
Your husband is a narcissist. He cares two hoots about others, their opinions and their suggestions. He barely every sympathizes or empathizes. His attitude defines callousness and he lives in a world of own, where the mantra is 'it's my way or the highway'. This has affirmed your belief that you are living with a man who has a narcissistic personality disorder. But Woman, you fell in love with this exact man and married him, because you could see a family with him. People do not turn into narcissists overnight. A very important point, which is being overshadowed is, he may not care about the others, because he loves you as much as he loves himself and cares about you above the others. Forget for a moment about his attitude towards others and give yourself a chance to see how much he loves you. As a narcissist, I can assure you, that when a narcissist decides to get into a relationship, he will see it that it lasts forever, because it lies in the larger interests. Narcissists will do everything, and trust me everything, in their capacity to fight for their passions and love, which is you, my lady. Just see it!

He is Great
He holds a very high opinion about himself. His haughty, arrogant and grandiose worth of himself, is very embarrassing to deal with. He never accepts his mistakes and refuses to make any adjustments, because everything he does is always right, as he believes he is never wrong. Living with such a husband, who defeats the purpose of a partnership, can seem difficult, however, not impossible. Understand that his belief that he can never wrong, stems from an insecurity of losing your trust if you ever fails you. Hence, to deal with him, you need to assure the love of your life that you trust him. Make him feel secure through words and actions. Gradually, as you win his trust you will win his confidence, that help him turn his self-obsession into a positive one.

He is Over Competitive
He is a constant never-ending competition with himself. His over competitive ways and exceedingly critical mind drives you up the wall. This precise behavior, makes you think he is exploitative and conniving. At first all narcissists come across as overly and incomprehensibly competitive. However, all of us somewhere strive for perfection and the best that we can get out of our lives. It is just that a narcissist openly expresses it through his actions, he gets misunderstood. Once again, being an absolute narcissistic personality, the only way of dealing with this, is understand his passion. Respect his passion for and be a part of it. Ask him about his work, how is it going, what has he done so far, what is goal, but never offer direct help, as narcissists are inherently believe in the virtue of self-reliance.

Living with such a husband does take a little more time than a dealing with a normal person. Initially, a narcissist will not let you enter his personal space. However, if you have found yourself a narcissistic husband, it's an asset, which you will appreciate for life. He will always work for the best, so that he can give you the best. I am in a relationship for two years now, out of which the past 8 months have been over a long distance. It took a lot for my fiancé to make 'us' happen. But once I learned to trust him (you can imagine his efforts!!), there has been no looking back for us. It was his assurance and belief in me, that helped me see my own larger interests.

Being with a narcissistic husband, you have to put a little bit of extra work, but once you establish the trust, believe me, no love compares to a narcissist's love, as a narcissistic person loves himself endlessly. Such an unassailable, unconditional and seamless love happens only once. Give it a try and walk the extra mile, once. That's all that we narcissists ask for.