Myths That Undermine Your Million Dollar Desire #2

When you make a decision to change and grow, grit your teeth and fasten your seat belt. Be prepared to drive into a storm, because that's what your subconscious likes to stir up when you give it permission.

It was five something in the morning and I was lying in bed somewhere between waking and sleeping, when a voice from somewhere said, "Money is Love." I sat bolt upright in bed, my mind and heart racing, my stomach feeling like it had just been punched. I knew I'd found another money myth, or, I should say, it had found me, and this one was the mother of all my money myths. I kept thinking about it, until it all started to make sense.

When I was a kid, I lived in Mexico City, and once a year we'd visit our relatives. Grandparents, uncles and aunts would, with rare exceptions, give me money as gifts. It was the obvious choice when you didn't often get to talk to "the giftee" to know what his interests were and it was hands down the easiest gift he could carry back with him on the plane. When grandmothers wanted to give their oldest grandson a gift, invariably winked and blue-veined hands would dip into the little black bags and out would come the dollar bills that I knew were so valuable to them, but they gave their money freely with a smile and great love.

My parents, too, often gave me money for gifts, especially my mother, who's favorite way to reward me was to give me money and then take me out shopping. When we had money, mom and dad were happy and loving towards each other, and when we didn't, well, let's just say times were better when we had money.

So it's not surprising that I associated money with love at a very early age, long before I could evaluate that association with a critical adult mind. My unconscious belief that money is love has given me interesting "natural" impulses to contend with. When I'm down, I spend. When I'm up, I spend. If I don't get paid as much as others, I feel unloved. If I don't get a raise, or a bonus, I'm not loved. If I say something about my discontent, I'm liable to lose what little I have, and if I leave my job and go elsewhere, I may be loved there less. And on and on it goes, through forty years of fighting myself, telling myself I was weak and not understanding the sickness that made me that way.

Over the last few days, I have been watching myself, in awe at how deeply this money myth is a part of me. I am less angry at creditors, and I've been feeling differently about money related events, like paying bills and keeping records, and hearing that it will take $3,600 dollars to fix our air-conditioner. Of course, a few days is not enough to change a lifetime of habits, but my anxiety level is definitely lower, and that can only be good. I am now in the process of exorcising this money myth with a new, more empowering belief: "Money is an objective measure of subjective value," or, in other words, "Money is just money. It's up to me to decide what it's worth."

Maybe you'll have your own insights about your money myths as the result of reading this. Maybe you'll come a step closer to being more comfortable with money, and you'll have knocked down another obstacle to your million dollar desire. One thing is for sure; however much we learn and grow, we are that much closer to getting what we truly want.

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