My...

It was the week of thanksgiving and my cousin was going to be coming down but four days before he was to be here I got a call saying that he was put in the hospital. Yes I was worried about him and I talked to him almost everyday. But the one day that I didn't the day before thanksgiving I got another call but this time it was a call that ill never forget. I was called at 330 in the morning to be notified that my cousin had committed suicide by slitting his wrists. After that I called my boyfriend and just broke down, I'm not afraid to say that I was dealing with depression and my own thoughts of suicide and cutting. He tried to help me but I pushed him away. Now it's been months since I got that call but if it wasn't for the last words my cousin said to me and also the help of my boyfriend who got me to see that no, after what happens I just need to open up and talk I wouldn't be here today. I'm still dealing with my depression and thoughts or thoughts of past suicide attempts but I just remember that my cousin wouldn't have wanted me to do this and that him and my bf would be totally devastated.