My Life Underground ~6~ The Pier
In this part there is a reunion, and some let downs, no more spoilers, read to find out more ,i hope all you readers are enjoying the story thus far.Thanks for all the Feedback!
PART SIX:
I speak in barely above a whisper, but at once he sits up straight on the floor and turns to look at me. When he does I almost cry, he is not the same Keenan. He looks like a broken piece of who he used to be. I look in his eyes, he looks in mine. We stare, mesmerized by each other. There is no longer that light in his eyes. The light in his eyes used to be so genuine it could melt me on a cold day. Now I feel cold just looking at him. Neither of us move for a moment, we just stare.
He whispers something that could be my name, and hoists his once muscular body off the ground and up to his feet. There is nothing left of him. I finally cry and can't hold it back anymore. No one in the room turns to look at me except for Teagan, everyone else is too busy talking to God or whatever it is they do when they are junkin out. Keenan takes one labored step at a time towards me. He stops about a foot short of me. I am still crying, although my sobs have calmed and I am softly weeping now.
Someone clears their throat. I catch my breath and lean around Keenan to look. It is Greg. He waves a hand at Teagan, who waves back. He motions for her to follow, she does, giving me one last apprehensive glance as she walks away. Keenan reaches out, grabs my hand.
"C'mon," he says to me, "You're too good for this place."
He pulls me gently outside, making me feel, for the second time today, like a child out of line being gently led away by its mother. But I follow him anyway. He nods at the bearded, tall, bald man on the way out. Walking into the fresh air relieves me instantly, I felt for a moment in there as if I were drowning. I take a deep breath.
Keenan spins me to face him once we are down the stairs and pulls me to him in the warmest hug he can muster. But I can feel his ribs. I hold back from crying again. Again, like a child, he gently takes my hand and leads me down the street, the coastal wind whipping my hair out behind me, like sheets on a clothes line. We walk into a little pub, in the row in front of the boardwalk, and sit down at the bar together.
I haven't even dared to open my mouth yet, in fear that the instant I do, I will fall to pieces. Keenan orders us each a beer and a shot of tequila, I take it willingly even though what I would prefer most is in my purse. We finish our drinks in silence.
"Just thought the liquor might warm you up."
I nod blankly to him.
"Ainslee, I'm your best friend, aren't you going to talk to me?"
I hesitate, "Can we go for a walk?"
This time he nods, and I willingly take his hand. We walk out of the pub, head toward the pier.
"The wind is pretty bad on the boardwalk." he says to me.
"I don't mind," I say back, "as long as you won't blow away."
We both laugh at this, my laughter quickly changes to a light sob, and I stop myself before it goes any further than that.
"I'm sorry," I say to him, "I just want you to be you again, and me to be me. And neither one of us are that any more. Don't you wish we could be 12 again?"
This time it is his turn to be silent. He looks down at my face while we silently hold hands and walk down the boardwalk. I look up at him, unable to keep my poker face anymore. I can tell I've lost it because he is looking at me like he can see the end of the world in my eyes.
We walk in silence until the end of the boardwalk. Holding hands. At the end he turns to me and leans up against the railing.
"Block the wind for a second?" I ask him.
He turns his body in front of me without even asking why. I reach into my purse and roll up the 20 bill. I leave the baggie in my purse so nothing can be blown away, I dip the 20, I inhale. Hold it. Exhale with my heart in my ears. I hand the 20 to Keenan, he follows suit, somewhat in shock of what I just did. But he does it anyway. I put everything back and stand face to face with Keenan. I can feel his heart beating and I know he can feel mine.
"I just want you to come home with me." I say to him, almost begging.
He grabs me close to him in a kind of stationary hug.
"I don't know if I can Ainslee." his reply comes out in whisper form.
I give in and let my sobs come now. Shaking my whole body. I let myself be taken in and lean into the warmth provided by Keenan's slight form. He grabs my face in his hands and lifts my head. We stand like this for a moment. He leans his face down to mine and kisses me. His lips are slow and gentle and he tastes like cocaine and cigarettes. I kiss him back. He still smells like him.
I snap myself back into reality and pull away from him. I breathe.
"Keenan, you're my best friend, I can't do this." I say this through a fresh batch of body racking sobs. I am so confused.
He looks at me like I just committed murder. Then at his shoes. He pulls a pack of smokes out of his pocket and struggles to light one in the blowing wind.
"Look, Kee I don't know if we are exactly safe here. I'm kind of being looked for right now, and I'm not exactly hard to find." I try to be as cavalier as I can, not letting my emotion slip out anymore. There's been enough of that for one day.
He doesn't say a word back to me. We turn and walk down the pier, a considerable distance between us now. The unlit smoke still hanging from his mouth. There is someone approaching us from the end of the pier. It looks like Greg, with Teagan in tow. As I get closer I can see for sure that it is them, and Teagan looks scared.
Just then the black car from the highway pulls up. Joe steps out. My heart stops in my chest for a moment and then races to a horrifying speed. I start to yell out to Teagan but Greg beats me to it and instead yells out at me.
"Luther will be happy to know I found you, me and him go waaay back." there is a sick smile on his crooked face, he looks at Keenan in that sick way, "Keenan get inside."
I turn to Teagan horrified.
"I had to Ainslee, you got me and almost everyone I know in trouble last time you were here, that doesn't go forgotten," then as an afterthought she adds "I'm sorry."
I haven't decided yet, if she means it or not. Keenan doesn't move, he just stands there watching the scene with a pale look of fear.
Joe grabs a hold of me and drags me into the back seat of his car. He promptly wraps my hands together and shuts the door on me. I peer out the tinted glass, so beyond fear now that I feel as though I am out of it all. My heart is racing but I don't even feel it, my body is shaking with adrenaline, but I don't notice. All I notice is Keenan in the alien world through the tinted glass windows. He is staring after me like a lost puppy. There are tears in his eyes as he follows Greg back into the house.
I realize, with a swift blow to myself esteem, that the kiss on the pier wasn't anything. Keenan didn't even try to help me. He is so far gone, nothing will reach him. That kiss meant nothing. Nothing. I don't even have any tears left to cry.
Joe starts the car.
I speak in barely above a whisper, but at once he sits up straight on the floor and turns to look at me. When he does I almost cry, he is not the same Keenan. He looks like a broken piece of who he used to be. I look in his eyes, he looks in mine. We stare, mesmerized by each other. There is no longer that light in his eyes. The light in his eyes used to be so genuine it could melt me on a cold day. Now I feel cold just looking at him. Neither of us move for a moment, we just stare.
He whispers something that could be my name, and hoists his once muscular body off the ground and up to his feet. There is nothing left of him. I finally cry and can't hold it back anymore. No one in the room turns to look at me except for Teagan, everyone else is too busy talking to God or whatever it is they do when they are junkin out. Keenan takes one labored step at a time towards me. He stops about a foot short of me. I am still crying, although my sobs have calmed and I am softly weeping now.
Someone clears their throat. I catch my breath and lean around Keenan to look. It is Greg. He waves a hand at Teagan, who waves back. He motions for her to follow, she does, giving me one last apprehensive glance as she walks away. Keenan reaches out, grabs my hand.
"C'mon," he says to me, "You're too good for this place."
He pulls me gently outside, making me feel, for the second time today, like a child out of line being gently led away by its mother. But I follow him anyway. He nods at the bearded, tall, bald man on the way out. Walking into the fresh air relieves me instantly, I felt for a moment in there as if I were drowning. I take a deep breath.
Keenan spins me to face him once we are down the stairs and pulls me to him in the warmest hug he can muster. But I can feel his ribs. I hold back from crying again. Again, like a child, he gently takes my hand and leads me down the street, the coastal wind whipping my hair out behind me, like sheets on a clothes line. We walk into a little pub, in the row in front of the boardwalk, and sit down at the bar together.
I haven't even dared to open my mouth yet, in fear that the instant I do, I will fall to pieces. Keenan orders us each a beer and a shot of tequila, I take it willingly even though what I would prefer most is in my purse. We finish our drinks in silence.
"Just thought the liquor might warm you up."
I nod blankly to him.
"Ainslee, I'm your best friend, aren't you going to talk to me?"
I hesitate, "Can we go for a walk?"
This time he nods, and I willingly take his hand. We walk out of the pub, head toward the pier.
"The wind is pretty bad on the boardwalk." he says to me.
"I don't mind," I say back, "as long as you won't blow away."
We both laugh at this, my laughter quickly changes to a light sob, and I stop myself before it goes any further than that.
"I'm sorry," I say to him, "I just want you to be you again, and me to be me. And neither one of us are that any more. Don't you wish we could be 12 again?"
This time it is his turn to be silent. He looks down at my face while we silently hold hands and walk down the boardwalk. I look up at him, unable to keep my poker face anymore. I can tell I've lost it because he is looking at me like he can see the end of the world in my eyes.
We walk in silence until the end of the boardwalk. Holding hands. At the end he turns to me and leans up against the railing.
"Block the wind for a second?" I ask him.
He turns his body in front of me without even asking why. I reach into my purse and roll up the 20 bill. I leave the baggie in my purse so nothing can be blown away, I dip the 20, I inhale. Hold it. Exhale with my heart in my ears. I hand the 20 to Keenan, he follows suit, somewhat in shock of what I just did. But he does it anyway. I put everything back and stand face to face with Keenan. I can feel his heart beating and I know he can feel mine.
"I just want you to come home with me." I say to him, almost begging.
He grabs me close to him in a kind of stationary hug.
"I don't know if I can Ainslee." his reply comes out in whisper form.
I give in and let my sobs come now. Shaking my whole body. I let myself be taken in and lean into the warmth provided by Keenan's slight form. He grabs my face in his hands and lifts my head. We stand like this for a moment. He leans his face down to mine and kisses me. His lips are slow and gentle and he tastes like cocaine and cigarettes. I kiss him back. He still smells like him.
I snap myself back into reality and pull away from him. I breathe.
"Keenan, you're my best friend, I can't do this." I say this through a fresh batch of body racking sobs. I am so confused.
He looks at me like I just committed murder. Then at his shoes. He pulls a pack of smokes out of his pocket and struggles to light one in the blowing wind.
"Look, Kee I don't know if we are exactly safe here. I'm kind of being looked for right now, and I'm not exactly hard to find." I try to be as cavalier as I can, not letting my emotion slip out anymore. There's been enough of that for one day.
He doesn't say a word back to me. We turn and walk down the pier, a considerable distance between us now. The unlit smoke still hanging from his mouth. There is someone approaching us from the end of the pier. It looks like Greg, with Teagan in tow. As I get closer I can see for sure that it is them, and Teagan looks scared.
Just then the black car from the highway pulls up. Joe steps out. My heart stops in my chest for a moment and then races to a horrifying speed. I start to yell out to Teagan but Greg beats me to it and instead yells out at me.
"Luther will be happy to know I found you, me and him go waaay back." there is a sick smile on his crooked face, he looks at Keenan in that sick way, "Keenan get inside."
I turn to Teagan horrified.
"I had to Ainslee, you got me and almost everyone I know in trouble last time you were here, that doesn't go forgotten," then as an afterthought she adds "I'm sorry."
I haven't decided yet, if she means it or not. Keenan doesn't move, he just stands there watching the scene with a pale look of fear.
Joe grabs a hold of me and drags me into the back seat of his car. He promptly wraps my hands together and shuts the door on me. I peer out the tinted glass, so beyond fear now that I feel as though I am out of it all. My heart is racing but I don't even feel it, my body is shaking with adrenaline, but I don't notice. All I notice is Keenan in the alien world through the tinted glass windows. He is staring after me like a lost puppy. There are tears in his eyes as he follows Greg back into the house.
I realize, with a swift blow to myself esteem, that the kiss on the pier wasn't anything. Keenan didn't even try to help me. He is so far gone, nothing will reach him. That kiss meant nothing. Nothing. I don't even have any tears left to cry.
Joe starts the car.
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