My Life Underground ~ 3~ Reconcilliation
The third part of My Life Underground. The continuation of Ainslee's journey to save Keenan.
PART THREE:
I stop for breakfast in Osoyoos. I've been driving all night in a foggy haze. I love it here. I wish I could stay here forever. Fuck Vancouver. Fuck going home. Fuck it all. Then I think about Keenan. I quickly choke down my breakfast sandwich and hash browns. It makes me feel instantly sick again. I can't stand eating after I've been on the pipe. But I take a big swallow of coffee and force myself to keep down my food. I start up the car and I keep driving.
It is 8 am when I finally pull into Chilliwack. I have a friend here, who I hope will let me stay with her. I need to sleep for a few hours before I can go into the city to start looking for Keenan. I take an exit off onto Yale and pull into a gas station. I shut of the car and dig into my back pack for my cell phone. I flip it open. 45 missed calls. All from Luther. I shudder and ignore the 3 new voicemails notification that pops up. I'd rather not know. I dial Teagan.
It rings.
"Hello?" I haven't heard her voice in a while.
"Teagan?" I ask, unsure.
"Yeah, is this you Ainslee?"
"Yeah, hey!"
"Wow, it's been so long since I've heard from you! What's going on?"
"Well, actually I am in Chilliwack right now, it's a long story. Can you meet me?"
"Yah no problem."
"How about the Tim Horton's on Yale west?"
"Yah no problem." she says, "Gimme like 20 minutes."
I hang up the phone feeling a little better. I'm glad she is willing to talk to me and especially that she is willing to come and see me after what happened last time. We haven't spoken at all in nearly 6 months. I start the car and head off to Yale West. It is a quick drive. I pull into the parking lot. Careful to lock the car I get out and head inside. I order an extra large double-double and sit down with it. I wait.
About 10 minutes goes by and I am beginning to get anxious that Teagan won't show up. The door swings open and although I haven't seen Teagan in 6 months I know it is her. She walks in with her long blond hair swinging out behind her. She is dressed head to toe in Guess clothing and when she turns to look at me, her eyes are unmistakable, she has one blue eye, one brown eye. Her face lights up into a smile when she spots me. I guess I am unmistakable too. She grabs her coffee and comes to sit with me.
"So," she starts, sipping her coffee, "What brings you to this crater on the face of the earth.?"
"Keenan." I say. She looks at me with knowledge in her eyes. I say one word. One name. She understands completely.
"What did he do?"
"I don't know, no one has heard from him in like forever. He is apparently selling junk downtown. I've got to get him out of here. Bring him home." I withhold the urge to cry.
She just nods.
We sit in silence for a little while. Thinking. Drinking our coffee. Thinking.
She speaks first, "Ainslee, about last time, the past is the past okay."
I cut in, "I was going to say something, I just wasn't sure how to. I forgive you if you can forgive me, we were both in a shitty place. I guess that's just how life works. Right?"
She nods again. " I'm going to help you find Keenan."
This time I can't hold back the tears and I start crying. Something in me keeps from letting go all the way. It must be my vanity. I don't want to make a scene.
Teagan speaks, "Let's go back to my place. You can rest and I'll make some calls. See if I can find him. I know a lot of junkies." she laughs when she says this.
I am in a state of relief now. I laugh too. We get up and we leave. I hop into my car. She hops into hers. I light up a cigarette and I follow her to her apartment.
It is a different place than it was last time. She must have had to move after what happened. And I don't blame her, I would have moved too. It is at least nicer than her last apartment is. I pull into the guest parking and step outside. The smell of rain and fresh cut grass is surprisingly nice. Her apartment is on the 4th floor and the walk up the flights of stairs almost kills me. There is no elevator in her apartment. The inside is furnished with the stuff from her old place. I set down my bags and lay down on her familiar squishy couch. The release is instant and before she can say anything I drift off into an uneasy sleep.
******
Teagan is yelling at me. I am yelling at her. We are both high. We both look like something that was drug out of a downtown dumpster. She brandishes a hypo at me while screaming. The cop sirens whine outside the building. I am crying. She is crying. The sirens go on and there is a knock at the door.
******
I wake up in a cold sweat. I can hear Teagan talking to someone on the phone in the next room. I glance at the clock. I've only been asleep for 2 hours. Footsteps. Teagan walks in, and looks at me grinning.
"I think I've found him." she says with a smirk.
I stop for breakfast in Osoyoos. I've been driving all night in a foggy haze. I love it here. I wish I could stay here forever. Fuck Vancouver. Fuck going home. Fuck it all. Then I think about Keenan. I quickly choke down my breakfast sandwich and hash browns. It makes me feel instantly sick again. I can't stand eating after I've been on the pipe. But I take a big swallow of coffee and force myself to keep down my food. I start up the car and I keep driving.
It is 8 am when I finally pull into Chilliwack. I have a friend here, who I hope will let me stay with her. I need to sleep for a few hours before I can go into the city to start looking for Keenan. I take an exit off onto Yale and pull into a gas station. I shut of the car and dig into my back pack for my cell phone. I flip it open. 45 missed calls. All from Luther. I shudder and ignore the 3 new voicemails notification that pops up. I'd rather not know. I dial Teagan.
It rings.
"Hello?" I haven't heard her voice in a while.
"Teagan?" I ask, unsure.
"Yeah, is this you Ainslee?"
"Yeah, hey!"
"Wow, it's been so long since I've heard from you! What's going on?"
"Well, actually I am in Chilliwack right now, it's a long story. Can you meet me?"
"Yah no problem."
"How about the Tim Horton's on Yale west?"
"Yah no problem." she says, "Gimme like 20 minutes."
I hang up the phone feeling a little better. I'm glad she is willing to talk to me and especially that she is willing to come and see me after what happened last time. We haven't spoken at all in nearly 6 months. I start the car and head off to Yale West. It is a quick drive. I pull into the parking lot. Careful to lock the car I get out and head inside. I order an extra large double-double and sit down with it. I wait.
About 10 minutes goes by and I am beginning to get anxious that Teagan won't show up. The door swings open and although I haven't seen Teagan in 6 months I know it is her. She walks in with her long blond hair swinging out behind her. She is dressed head to toe in Guess clothing and when she turns to look at me, her eyes are unmistakable, she has one blue eye, one brown eye. Her face lights up into a smile when she spots me. I guess I am unmistakable too. She grabs her coffee and comes to sit with me.
"So," she starts, sipping her coffee, "What brings you to this crater on the face of the earth.?"
"Keenan." I say. She looks at me with knowledge in her eyes. I say one word. One name. She understands completely.
"What did he do?"
"I don't know, no one has heard from him in like forever. He is apparently selling junk downtown. I've got to get him out of here. Bring him home." I withhold the urge to cry.
She just nods.
We sit in silence for a little while. Thinking. Drinking our coffee. Thinking.
She speaks first, "Ainslee, about last time, the past is the past okay."
I cut in, "I was going to say something, I just wasn't sure how to. I forgive you if you can forgive me, we were both in a shitty place. I guess that's just how life works. Right?"
She nods again. " I'm going to help you find Keenan."
This time I can't hold back the tears and I start crying. Something in me keeps from letting go all the way. It must be my vanity. I don't want to make a scene.
Teagan speaks, "Let's go back to my place. You can rest and I'll make some calls. See if I can find him. I know a lot of junkies." she laughs when she says this.
I am in a state of relief now. I laugh too. We get up and we leave. I hop into my car. She hops into hers. I light up a cigarette and I follow her to her apartment.
It is a different place than it was last time. She must have had to move after what happened. And I don't blame her, I would have moved too. It is at least nicer than her last apartment is. I pull into the guest parking and step outside. The smell of rain and fresh cut grass is surprisingly nice. Her apartment is on the 4th floor and the walk up the flights of stairs almost kills me. There is no elevator in her apartment. The inside is furnished with the stuff from her old place. I set down my bags and lay down on her familiar squishy couch. The release is instant and before she can say anything I drift off into an uneasy sleep.
******
Teagan is yelling at me. I am yelling at her. We are both high. We both look like something that was drug out of a downtown dumpster. She brandishes a hypo at me while screaming. The cop sirens whine outside the building. I am crying. She is crying. The sirens go on and there is a knock at the door.
******
I wake up in a cold sweat. I can hear Teagan talking to someone on the phone in the next room. I glance at the clock. I've only been asleep for 2 hours. Footsteps. Teagan walks in, and looks at me grinning.
"I think I've found him." she says with a smirk.
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