My Heart Belongs To You...

It amazes me how this one person can have my heart. I try so hard to push him out of my mind and to think of someone else, but it's all in vain. When I close my eyes, I see him. When I dream, I hope it's about him. I can't help myself. But that's not the worst part of it. The worst part is that I know that we can never be, I know that he will never think of me as 'one of those girls', as someone who will set his heart racing, the girl that he will take home to meet his mother. I know that I am not - and never will be - this girl to him, and it tears my heart to pieces.

He's the type of person who lights up a room just by being in it. Who makes you laugh just by laughing; he doesn't even have to say a word. He has the type of grin that spells out 'naughty' but tends to melt your heart anyway. But most importantly, he has the warmest eyes.

And he'll never be mine.

He doesn't know that I exist in the way that I know he does, the feelings will never be mutual, and I can't bear to stand it. Though I accept it, it still hurts and I won't try denying it.

He's loved by all, and I can't blame him or them. He's far from perfect, but perfect enough for me. I try not to like him, I try not to do this to myself, but I know that it doesn't work.

I cry because he will never like me for who I am, I cry because he will never know any of this, but most of all, I'm scared that I will never find anyone else to love and who will love me back. And that may be one day I will stop hurting.

I hate that I know all of this and know that it's all true, but I just can't seem to do anything about it. I hate that I like him and that he's real; that I didn't make him up.

He comes in and out of my life at random times; not knowing what a rollercoaster ride it is for me. I can't hate him though. We're not even close, we're not even friends, we're barely acquaintances. And yet I like him this much.

I fell hard for him since the very first time that I laid my eyes on him, and try as I might, I've no idea how to get back up again.

I long for the day that someone else will catch my attention as well as my heart and I his. Until then, I know that I'll keep dong this to myself; loving someone who barely knows that I am there. Smart, aren't I? Or just pathetic.

One thing that I do know is that I don't care and I don't mind that my heart belongs to you. I know that when the time is right, that I'll get it back again. I'll give it to that someone who truly cares for me, who loves me.