My Christmas Wish

At times I feel so alone
This dark emptiness
Eating me from inside out
Crying at night
I am slowly dying
Happiness is all around me
And all I want to do is cry
I have tried to bleed
The pain feels so good
As the blade slowly cross against my skin
Passion rise from within me
My pulse beats faster and faster
Each time I leave a new scar
A new bittersweet memory of my pain of my love
My passion for the blade
I am so alone this darkness inside
It never goes away
Creeps up on me
I can feel its hands over my heart
Pushing me from one mood to another
My loneliness is slowly poisoning me
I have nowhere to run
Nowhere to cry
I am alone
I killed the one I loved
Pushed away from my pain
My sorrow and demons
Living each day is like breathing in hell
Pain has no meaning for me
I could stand there screaming all day
And I still wouldn’t cry and break down
Because deep inside I am already gone
I have no hope
No cause to go on in life
Because all of the good things in life have been taken from me
I see no light
Just darkness
Light at the end of the tunnel is a lie
There is nothing but darkness in there
For some people they can find meaning in the world
But me I can’t
There is no happiness
Each day I wander why I am not dead
Why have I not filled my wish
Do you know what I wish for every year
Death but nothing comes
I shall walk down this path once again
And maybe this time I won’t be coming home.