Must I Be Your Bride? - Chapter Seventeen

The next days passed by, and I had no choice but to go along with planning the wedding; dress fitting - I would be wearing the same dress I walked the platform with -, food tasting, decorating, all of which involved the queen and the maids. I hardly even got to see William, which pained me. Only once he managed to sneak me away from them so we could go watch movies in his room, but they caught us right when we were starting the second movie. And my day wouldn't be over until late at night, where I couldn't help but hop onto my bed and go to sleep out of exhaustion. William and I did see each other during breakfast and dinner, but there wasn't much we could say with all the company. The wedding will be held on Thursday at sunset.

When I woke up Tuesday morning I remembered something. I was supposed to be turned into a vampire. And when was that going to happen?

But when I tried to ask William at breakfast, John would somehow stop our conversation. I had a feeling it had something to do with his mind-reading. William was trying to avoid the question, the topic. Not giving up, I decided to quickly ask him when he went by for me in my room, before we made it to the dining room for dinner. He surprised me when he lifted me up and gave me a long kiss that ended as soon as we walked into the dining room, everyone giving us sly looks. I frowned as soon as he placed me on my feet. The rest of dinner William was saved by John, yet again.

Once the clock stroke one, I sat up from my bed, ignoring my fatigue. I put on my slippers and quietly made my way into the hall, tip-toeing through the dim moon light coming from the windows. It wasn't as creepy as it was the first time I walked through here at night, but I couldn't help glancing at every little sound I heard.

I sighed with relief when I made it to William's room and slowly turned the doorknob. I gasped when I walked in, only to see a figure leaning inside the room against the wall near the door, and quickly covered my mouth when I realized it was only William. A thin line curved his lips.

"I was wondering when you would come," he says, closing the door to lean his hand over my head.

I had to repeat in my mind the reason I was here. I was going to ask when he was going to turn me into a vampire and I was going to be mad at him for avoiding my question today. It was pretty hard to force myself to frown, him being so close.

"I guess you know why I'm here," I say, happy with succeeding in my demanding voice.

He hummed before leaning in to give me a kiss. It took all my might for me to stumble down and to the side. I quickly walked toward his window and leaned against it, telling myself I wouldn't fall for his spell again.

"No," I say. "You're going to answer."

He sighed, still leaning against his door, not letting me see his face. "Why do you need to know?"

I slowly turn to look out his window, and realize he had the most beautiful view of the long bridge and the town, the lights forming into dozens of still fireflies. I reached to the side to slide the window open, and was relieved to find it unlocked. A shill blew into the room, and I quickly close it shut again.

"You're not backing out of this, William. It seems like I have to remind you that you have things that you have to do." Then I hesitantly added. "I don't want the sovereign to hurt you." I turned around to realize he was half way toward me. "Turn me now."

Any hint of smile he might have had was now gone. Instead, he seemed to have frowned.

"You're so fragile...," he says so quietly that I was tempted to take a step forward to hear him.

"I'm sure every human is to a vampire," I try to say as calmly as I could. But even I couldn't hide the nervousness I felt at the thought of being turned. I hadn't even thought it over. My only plan was to ask William when he was going to turn me, not exactly 'turn me now'. We only had tomorrow, and I have no clue how long a transformation takes.

In a flash he's standing so close to me. His hand finds my face, as if inspecting it, and he leans down to give me a slow kiss on my neck before whispering. "I'm sorry."

This was it. I was going to be turned. So I close my eyes and wait. Except, I remembered a simple bite to the neck wasn't what turned you. I open my eyes to realize William was walking into his living room, and I had no choice but to quickly follow.

Irritation was slowly building inside me. He was making things complicated. Couldn't we just get this over with already; avoid the arguing, the negatives?

I raced after him into the living room and I wasn't surprised when I saw him looking out the window, the moonlight outlining his hard but delicate features.

"Damn it, William!" I gasped and quickly placed my hand over my mouth. I can't believe I just said that, being a daughter in a family that prohibited such language.

William turned, also surprised by my sudden outburst. But when I saw that pain flash in his eyes again, the bomb in me exploded again, and my eyes narrowed.

"Stop it! You act like you can change things but you simply can't. You know you have to change me whether you like it or not. So why keep pretending?" I took a step forward, feeling a bit weak as I did so. "Unless you want me dead?" His tensing didn't stop me. And as I spoke, he never looked away, and neither did I. "Fine then, just say so. Don't manipulate me. Do you really think I'm excited at the idea of becoming a vampire? No, I'm not. I'm terrified, William! I've grown up having so much, and I know by doing this, none of that will matter anymore." Tears were now stinging my eyes, and I had to look away from the guilty and pitiful eyes William had. "I never got to tell my parents I loved them. They always had to be the first. And I never got to tell Josiah that he was the best little brother anyone could ever have." And weakly added, "Well to me." I sighed, and forced myself to look at William again. "But I'm willing do all of this for you. And you can't do something simple for me; to turn me?"

I think I was shaking from the irritation and grief I was feeling. Other than just admitting that to William, I also admitted everything to myself. I was terrified, and missed my old life more than I ever expected to, but I couldn't find myself to care too much. I wasn't lying when I said I would forget everything for William.

He made his way to me, walking as a human other than an abnormal, and wrapped me up in a hug. The sobs threaten to escape me, but I held them in, telling myself to be strong for the transformation. And when we backed away, for once, I saw the determination in William's eyes. Finally, he was going to change me.

Feeling the hole that had formed during my confession, I quickly placed my lips on his, feeling the same thing I felt during that night of the storm, the feeling I felt when we kissed in his room, after admitting my love for William on the platform with my wedding dress. And by the way his hold tightened on my arms I knew he was also feeling the desire I was. The desire that refused to pull away. Soon, my heart was racing, my body was weakening, and I was shuddering as I tried to find a way to remove William's shirt; buttons, pulling it off? He surprised me when he backed me up against the wall, gently grabbing my hands to pin them on the wall above me, not letting me do anything else but kiss him, and let him kiss my face, my neck. That's as far as he went, I could barley handle it. Any attempt I made to pull my hands away, he simply wouldn't let them go.

Suddenly, he stopped, hiding his face on the crook of my neck as he had before. By the way we were both breathing, I knew that we wanted to keep going, to go farther, and I would have, if William hadn't stopped me. This bothered me a little, especially now, when I was still hungry for him.

He backed away and met my gaze. His hesitation confused me, but then he slowly lifts his palm to his lips, makes a weird torn sound, and then offers it to me. I stare at him for a moment, and my heart starts racing again when I see the two drops of crimson start to grow on his light skin, barely noticeable in the dim light. Now I find myself just as hesitant like he was. Too soon? No, of course not. I was still terrified, and the sudden rush I just had didn't loosen it. But William's eyes are so comforting, so reassuring; they practically said 'it was okay', that this would all be fine. So I take a breath and place my mouth to his palm, the taste off his blood exploding on my tongue.

It's sour, almost metal-like, but this blood wasn't like human blood. It had a slight taste that was hard to explain, a taste that only made you crave for more, to devour every single drop. I tried to contain myself but I couldn't, I was desperately trying to suck out more of William's blood, groaning when I just couldn't get enough. And when I saw William flinch a bit as I tightened my hold on his hand and practically sunk my teeth into his palm, I felt so guilty. Yet, the guilt didn't make it any easier to stop. His eyes were still reassuring though, and I hoped I wasn't hurting him so much.

The careful grip on my shoulder told me it was time to pull away, and when I still found it hard to, I almost felt ashamed. But I did pull back, with some of William's help, and thankfully his eyes were still comforting.

He kisses me again, and I know that he's also enjoying the left over blood in my mouth, but he backs away almost instantly, his eyes having that flash of pain and hesitation again. 'Oh no', I think. What is he thinking now? More regret? Did he ever regret any of this?

"I - I have to kill you," he whispers, and then quickly adds, "It's the process." I slowly nod, remembering, and close my eyes, preparing for the worst to come. I feel him hesitating again, his hands slowly traveling up my arms. But it was so quick, the pain. The worst did come, even though it was only for a short second. I feel like my neck is being torn off, I hear the loudest crack, and everything goes dark.