Mr. Nice Guy, At Your Own Risk

You may find it hard to believe, but the nice guy dies easy. Yes! And I know folks, this is in contrary to the poem I wrote a few months ago, "Do Good Anyway". But this is a bitter truth of life too.

No one is born bad. Circumstances, company, upbringing, the devil's influence, all play a factor. It's just how much we get pulled towards the wrong stuff. Or how much we can sustain the various pressures of life and sail ahead smoothly doing good. But make no mistake, being good isn't easy at all. You will be kicked, pushed and crushed all along the way.

Let's take a few general life experiences as I try to make my point.

Let's start with school/college This is one place where you will find a mix of people around you. While some come to gain the wealth of knowledge, there are others who are just out to be mean and have a great time at other's expense. So while you wanna be good of course, being really nice isn't gonna let you stand your own. You have to be hard and practical at times. Ragging and pranks are a way of educational life. Either you are on the dishing-out side or on the receiving end. And mind you, if you are on the receiving end, then don't be a punching bag for everyone. All you will get is eventual sympathy, which will lead you nowhere. The pain, physical and mental, that you go through in any ordeal will only be yours, so beware. It does not mean you have to initiate wrongs, but just be alert and fight to hold your own, in the right ways, and sometimes to wrong too, to uphold your integrity.

Then there is our love life Nothing is more complicated than love, and that's a fact. It takes you both to heaven and hell at the same time. What else can do this to you? It will never ever cease to amaze you. During courtship, if you go on being too nice to your partner, and always be there for her/him, and are the one always on time to meet up, then get this right, you will surely be taken for granted. Some won't realize, but then you will be the guy who is always there, always on time, always nice, no matter what. So then your partner won't be bothered if you need to wait, or things like that. This does not imply that you should purposely derail things. But learn to strike a right balance. Love is all about give and take. If there is more give and less take, or vice versa, then God help you. And for all those that say love is just about giving and loving, come on. We are humans and it's in our blood to want also. Unless you are a saint. Be a little mysterious to your partner too, that way it keeps your partner always interested and wanting more.

An important aspect is our workplace Everyone wants to have a great career and do well. That's of course unless you have a long lost uncle who has left a fortune for you and you are a lazy bum. So, it is ethical to be nice at work. Hard work always pays off. But a few rules apply. Let your work be seen. No one has the time to Godfather you at work. No one is coming there to be a catalyst to your career and well-being. If you do something outstanding, make sure you get the credit for it. Coz mind you, there will be a bunch of people waiting to pounce and take away the credit from you. Helping others isn't bad for health, but not at the cost of your own duties. You will not be appreciated for being the best helping hand if you can't dispose off the duties expected of you. And if you are gonna be the one always to run away due to office politics, then it's better you sit at home. Coz then even starting your own business won't take you anywhere in life.

Last but not the least, friends One point I need to make here is, people mix up friendship with the word colleagues. Ok, we make some real good friends at work too. But not everyone you know or talk to is your friends. The line, a friend in need is a friend indeed, didn't come outta nowhere. It is very true. You will have many around you when your doing fine and life is all rosy. It's the times you are down and life is kicking you around, when you will realize who your true friends actually are. Few will be there to cry with you, but many will be there to laugh at you. Take my word for it. One thing is so true, our relatives are chosen by God for us, but friends, we choose!

Let's take it that we have one life. When we get into our next lives as whatever form we are given, we will take that from that point. So in this life, we have to stand our own. Time once gone, never comes back, for anyone. Life will take us places, and to different people and situations. Be good, but not at the cost of your own self. Unless you just want to be remembered as a good soul, with a statue of you erected at the intersection in your city. Even that seems a distant probability. Remember though, God is watching.

Cheers!!!