Moving On After a Break Up

Break-up of a relationship often spells a doom for the two people involved in it. Life suddenly becomes listless and there is a great void to be dealt with. This phase can be pretty traumatic for the couple, especially for the person who did not instigate the break-up. Everyone has their own way of dealing with a relationship break-up. Some people may shut themselves totally away from the world, while the more resilient ones may turn into extreme extroverts and may begin going out and partying like never before. No matter which way you choose, the basic 3-step process of recovering remains the same - mourning, acceptance and then moving on.

I understand, giving someone a relationship advice is very easy but it is very difficult for the concerned person to follow it, to the word. It would be highly unfair to expect a rational and practical behavior from a person who just had a break up. Yet, I am penning down a few ways of mending a broken heart and steps to moving on after a break up.

Do Not Blame
People often resort to blame game, after their relationship hits rock. It is unfair to blame yourself or your partner or anyone else for that matter. Blaming and pointing fingers won't really help you to move on, rather it will delay the process. Instead, just think that whatever happened, happened for a good reason. Do not have bitter feelings for the other person.

Cry Your Heart Out
Demise of a relationship is no less traumatic than demise of a person. The very thought that the person with whom you shared wonderful moments, will no longer be with you, is itself very depressing. Hence, do not shy away from expressing your genuine feelings. It's okay to cry out and isolate yourself from the world for a few days, just don't make it a habit. Call a friend who can understand you and can offer you a genuine advice.

Do Not Wait for Him/Her to Return
Do not live in the hope that the person you loved will come back to you. Do not try to establish the contact with the person, in the same hope. Remember, there is no point in 'being friends', as that will only make you more hopeful and post-pone the trauma of dealing with a broken relationship. Instead, leave the past behind and start your life afresh.

Re-acquaint with Friends and Family
When in relationship, the couple naturally tends to drift away from their circle of family and friends and engross in a world of their own. So, this is the right time to re-acquaint with those long lost friends and relatives. Go out with them more often and you'll discover that there are other relations in life which are just as important.

Pamper Yourself
Do not feel sorry for yourself, as that can hamper your self esteem in the long run. Instead, pamper yourself by doing all those things you longed for, while you were in the relationship. Buy some nice clothes, make an appointment at a spa, take that vacation you so desperately needed, in short, do all those activities which you wanted to do all those years.

Sort Out the Legal Matters
If there are any legal matters such as shared accommodation, joint bank accounts etc. involved, then sort them as early as possible. Do not delay these matters as they may create complications for you in future and open the wounds again.

Beware of a New Relationship
Do not rush into a new relationship, before you have given yourself enough time to recover completely, from the previous one. It is very easy to fall for a person who offers a shoulder to cry on during our troubled times. This is the mistake most people do and end up with a wrong person altogether, which eventually results in yet another fall-out. Hence, make sure you are emotionally stable enough to handle another relationship and only then proceed.

Moving on after a break up is definitely not easy, but you can at least make sincere attempts towards it. If you take it as a challenge and face your life positively, you'll emerge a stronger person than you were.