Moving in with Boyfriend

Having had a fair share of crushes and flings and disappointments in the relationship department, I feel really good for my buddies who are in a healthy relationships. Well, I am the only one who is not in a relationship (at least right now!) and 9 out of my 10 friends either have boyfriends (or prospects) or are engaged. It has become a routine to listen to my friends' relationship anecdotes - sometimes the uneven terrain and then the beautiful plane of relationships where you cherish them. It is a pleasure to listen to them, I get a good deal of enlightenment! In all this, there was this usual day when I got a call from one of my friends. "Be there at our usual cafe at 7.30. See you there." Before I could say anything on this, she just hung up. Wondering what it must be, I took a big deep breath. Finished my day's work, which was still a few hours to go and then headed for our usual cafe at the given time. She was already there, restless and bursting with anxiety and excitement. As soon as I settled my self, she almost screamed "I am moving in with my boyfriend! How great is that!" There you go, I said to myself. Not that this wasn't expected, but the actual news was a little bit of shock. I regained my composure and we discussed the idea of her moving in with boyfriend. Giving you some snippets of the relationship issues we ranted about.

Pros and Cons of Moving in Before Marriage

Well, just as all other things in a relationship, moving in comes with its own set of brownie points and pitfalls. Taking a stock of both in the text to follow.

Pros of a Live in Before Marriage
The brighter side needs to be tackled first. Here goes, therefore. To begin with, when you are dating, you sometimes try and conceal your negative aspects and those small quirks and everything is good. When you start living in, you get to know those little eccentricities, cleanliness and upkeep of the house, the way the person is, the house and the whole list of such things. The two living in, get to know each other well. At the same time you also develop your own personal space and it becomes a routine. Most importantly, you can observe and get to know each other's habits, which is very very important. Another extremely crucial thing is you get a sort of dress rehearsal if you are thinking on the marriage plane. You get a good idea as to how it would be to be married (wow, isn't that the most exciting part about moving in with boyfriend?) It will be a good outing if the couple involved is not sure of tying the knot and it will help them come to a decision. The best part is that if you feel it is not working out, you can say bye bye. This can't be done in marriage.

So did you think we came to the conclusion that living in/ moving in with boyfriend rocks? Not really, as this is what we thought of next regarding relationship advice for women, with special reference to moving in.

Cons of a Live in Before Marriage
There is a possibility that either one may put off marriage as he is comfortable with the present set up. This can create a friction between the couple if the other person wants to get married. To sort that situation out, may be a time limit can be decided. Another significant disadvantage of living with boyfriend is that the novelty and excitement is taken away. The fun and romance in whispering sweet nothings in his ear because you did not meet him for quite sometime will be lost. If either one has a strict religious background, the sex factor may cause chinks in the relationship armor. If one spends more than the other, that can again be an important issue. Moreover, some studies show that those who live in together for a considerable period of time, there is a lot of chance that they will not end up getting married. A more caustic argument is that marriage as an institution which forms the base of the society is brought down as a whole as result of moving in with boyfriend before marriage.

The crux of what we discussed primarily was the consequences of such a step. After this serious talk on moving in with boyfriend, we pondered over the lighter but significant side of the whole issue.

Points to Consider Before Moving in with Boyfriend

There are number of things, my dear ladies you have to remember before moving in before marriage. For some it might be a very common thing and would perhaps not need much of a thought. But some who are not good at taking such decision can falter at this juncture. Here are a few small pointers for all the ladies thinking of moving in before marriage.

• Emotional involvement is great darlings, even though it is without commitment. But please keep your emotional realm separated from the money part.
• Decide before moving in about how the finances would be divided. It would be unfair ladies on both of you if either one pays for the expenses.
• Before you move in, check out how the place is, I mean casually, not like an inspection!
• Chalk out a routine to avoid clashes later about who will do what. This is very important ladies. For instance, you will do the dishes in the morning and he will do the same in the evening.
• Make sure that you do not lose out on your personal space, at the same time, though, take out time once a week to go out and spend quality time with each other outside the house.
• Think ahead, plan for the future.
• Be clear about anything you might be skeptical of, it is absolutely imperative.

That was just a glimpse of what we discussed when my friend told me about moving in.

There was one more thing we discussed. I think perhaps that should have been mentioned before anything else, but nevertheless. I asked my friend if her relationship is stable enough and is she herself ready to take such a big step as moving in with boyfriend. We parted on the note that if she is point blank sure about herself and that guy, then she should do what she wants to without any qualms! So it is up to you to decide whether living in before marriage is good or bad!

By the time we were done with our marathon discussion, we had finished our quota of coffee for the day! All in all, the bottom line, my dear women was to think very clearly and thoroughly about such a step. Well, that was it! Think twice, and go ahead if you feel it is the right thing to do! All the best!