Mistakes Men Make On the First Date

The fact that guys can be fairly clueless on the first date is of no surprise to anyone. Everybody knows that men and women oftentimes don’t understand each other, and it’s really no surprise that men would be left with many first date questions. Do they let the girl make the first move, or should they go for it themselves? What exactly is it that women want on a first date? To figure this out, let’s take a look inside a woman’s mind.

First you need to recognize the fact that girls need to be shown that you are interested in them. That’s what a girl is looking for in a first date – interest. Girls are terrible guessers, and if you don’t give her a good reason to feel like you are into her, she’s naturally going to assume you must not be. The problem? When we do express our interest, we make a lot of mistakes. Girls and guys communicate on totally different levels, and while you may be sincerely trying to show her that you like her, it’s easy to forget her perspective and come across completely different from how we really feel.

One of the most detrimental mistakes that guys make is getting too physical on a first date. True, you are showing her some interest, but it isn’t the kind that she’s going to be interested in. Every other guy out there is just as interested in her body as you are – so what? Does this actually make you seem special, or does she have any reason to think that you care more about her than anyone else? Women aren’t usually looking to make the first date a very physical affair, and if they decide to somewhere along the night, they’ll let you know. For the most part, just try to keep your hands to yourself. She’ll appreciate that.

Similar to getting too physical, guys often also go wrong by showering her with too many compliments about her appearance. This is a relatively easy thing to do. To guys, we know that women can sometimes be a little self-conscious about the way they look, so we try our best to make up for that. Unfortunately, it’s easy to carry this too far. Women do love to feel beautiful, and it’s a great idea to tell her so once or twice during the evening. If you keep going on about her dress, her hair, her eyes, her hands, etc., however, you’re coming across as physically oriented, and it’s a turn-off. Again, there are a lot of guys who would like to sit there and tell her how great she looks – what are you doing that’s different?

The next thing you need to avoid: Keep the conversation off of your past girlfriends! It amazes me how many guys think that if they talk about how hurt they’ve been by girls in the past that they’ll come across as sensitive and the girl will want to take care of them like a puppy. In reality: you don’t care about their ex-boyfriends, and they don’t care about the women in your past. That’s the last conversation she wants to get into on your first date. You’re only going to come across as melodramatic and whiney. If you were trying to sell a car to someone, would you start off by telling them how many other people have refused to buy it?

This should be common sense, but a lot of people seem to overlook it. Like everyone else in the world, girls are not attracted to a negative personality. Don’t complain, don’t whine, and don’t try to come off as cool and rough by looking at the bad side of things. It’s easy to be caught in those moments where you’re trying to be funny and think of anything to say to get conversation going, so you fill in the void with an attempt at witty humor about how bad the music is, or how poor the service is, or how long the car ride was. Girls don’t like this, and to be honest, neither does anyone else. Want to impress her? Focus a little more on the positives. If you’re having to wait forever on your food, keep her entertained and make it a good experience.

Just keep in mind that it’s up to you to make sure you take the initiative on the first date. Let her know that you’re interested in her, but keep in mind that she might see certain actions much differently than you would. You want her to like you, and by keeping an unbiased eye on your own actions, you’ll make sure that you come across as a charming gentleman instead of an obnoxious creep.

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Cole Carson is a successful internet marketer and entrepreneur. He specializes in the fields of nutrition and health, motivational literature, and marketing and business topics.