Memorializing Your Pet

By Deborah Lambeth

There are many challenges one has to face when dealing with the death of a pet. Most pets do not die suddenly and the owner is faced with the decision of when to put their pet to sleep. So, coupled with the sadness of the death, there is an added degree of guilt over having to make an agonizing decision. Certainly there are many ways in which to memorialize a pet. Photos, drawings and other things can bring comfort as they remind you of your special friend. There are many websites devoted to helping animal lovers with their grief. Moira Anderson, M.Ed. who has written a book on pet loss, says not to let anyone diminish your sadness. She goes on to say that during the years you spent with your pet (even if they were few), the relationship became a significant and constant part of your life, a source of comfort, companionship, unconditional love and acceptance, fun and joy.

What are some ways in which you can memorialize your pet so that it brings comfort to you as well as those around you? Some people choose to have a small ceremony marking the end of their pet’s life. Usually this just involves a few close friends or family and is a very loosely structured time. Your friends may want to recount fun times with your pet. You may want to share with your friends what your pet meant to you, how sad you are and may be in the coming days. This type of remembrance can be extremely helpful in teaching children about death and coping with the loss of their friend.

Another way people choose to remember their animals is to bury them in a pet casket (or urn) in a pet cemetery. Most states prohibit pet owners from burying animals in yards. Your veterinarian can advise you on the laws in your state about pet burial and cremation. Some states will allow you to keep pet cremains and put them in an urn. For some, this can be a source of comfort. Another way people find comforting is to spread the ashes of their animal in a significant place. It may be near a park where your pet liked to play or in your backyard. Especially if you were not able to be with your pet when they died, this would be a tangible and symbolic way of holding onto your pet and then letting them go.

There are no steadfast rules on what you have to do when a pet dies. What is important to do, though, is to grieve and remember. Just as you and your pet shared a unique relationship when they were alive, you will always have fond and special memories to hold on to which hopefully, in time, will bring a smile to your face and ease your heavy heart.