Mature Dating--Fact or Fiction?

I’ve been single twice in my life. Somewhere in the middle, I was married for fifteen years. So I think I can speak for my sisters on the "mature dating" scene when I say: "HELP!"

Theoretically, the numbers of single men and single women are fairly even. There must be millions of men over 40 out there looking for single women. So why is it so hard to find my soul mate with those odds? Come to think of it, a lot of the men I meet are just plain odd.

I got my first taste of the wild world of mature dating at an over-30 singles dance. The first guy who asked me to dance started off with, "So, you like huntin’ and fishin’?" Thinking fast, I said, "Scrabble is my sport." It worked. He left mid-song.

My second dance partner was a dead ringer for Rain Man. He was eating a cookie when he asked me to dance. Instead of throwing the rest of the cookie away and swallowing first, he discoursed on the physics of light for several minutes, spewing cookie crumbs all the while. The third man confided in me about his visions.

Apparently, dances aren’t exactly a fruitful field as a mature dating venue for me. I’m not a drinker, so singles bars are out, too. Meeting a single man is a challenge for a woman who spends most of her day in the company of a computer. So, hoping to broaden my mature dating prospects, I signed up with an online dating service.

After a while, I met a man who seemed to have real possibilities for a mature dating relationship. He had a regular job, was fairly attractive and had only been married once. No police record, no drug habit, no obvious problems—until he met my cat. My cat, it turns out, is a good judge of character. She usually warms up to strangers pretty fast, but this time, she gave my date a wide berth. The feeling was apparently mutual. He sneered at her menacingly.

"So, you like cats?" I asked. He told me about the time some wild cats had climbed up on his new truck to get warm, and he shot them. Let’s just say I took that to be a red flag.

I guess the real wonder is that I haven’t given up on mature dating. I’m a fairly attractive woman (or so I’ve been told, and not just by my women friends trying to console me). On the other hand, I’m also fairly picky (or so I was told by a man who liked me a lot more than I liked him). I want a man who is a lot like me—a soul mate, if there is such a thing—fairly attractive, smart, self-supporting, emotionally stable. I want a man who is mature enough for an adult relationship and real love.

Okay, so maybe I’m living in a fantasy world. Is there any such thing as mature dating? Or is mature dating a fairy tale? Apparently the fantasy world I’m living in now is Never Land. "I won’t grow up" is basically the attitude of most of the men I meet. Mature dating (not to mention that other M-word, which, come to think of it, they never do mention) apparently isn’t in their vocabulary.

Okay, I admit it. I’m a good Wendy. I’m practical, nurturing, always trying to bring Peter Pan down to earth. But Peter seems more interested in adventures than in relationships. "A mature dating relationship can be an adventure!" I protest. Maybe one of the Lost Boys will listen.

Being Wendy is exhausting. Anyone know a good fairy godmother who can turn me into Cinderella? Hmm—swapping one fairy tale for another. Maybe I’m not mature enough for mature dating!

Karen Todd is a writer for 10x Marketing, an internet marketing firm. If you’re looking for love and happiness, try HeavenlyMatched, the leading online provider of tools for finding real love. HeavenlyMatched is a safe environment for those seeking healthy serious relationships.