Marriage Problems After Baby

I came across this guy in a wedding - being our first encounter, who later that day opened up about how he was trapped in a marriage, that he had no choice but to stay stuck in. Even if the words hadn't come out that way, it was written all over his face and in the dejected way he'd shrug his shoulders. They were best friends for years, who'd seen a lot together through good times and bad, and it seemed like the next thing to do. So why get married if you aren't a hundred percent sure about what you're getting yourself into? Many men and women are sure that marriage is what they need, with most of them clueless about the struggles they're about to face.

It involves compromise, and above all, understanding about what it is the two have to face in order to play their individual roles out properly. Both men and women need their space, and a lot of things can wedge themselves in between, to test trust and overall patience in their bond. If one minor hurdle can't be resolved, then a marriage that lasts forever doesn't seem like a possibility. Marriage problems after having a baby, is something you can expect in a marriage, since mothers tend to go through a lot right after pregnancy. Her husband needs to be understanding and considerate, when it comes to her feelings, and what she's going through. Let's find out what the common marital problems are, besides when a baby is born.

Signs of Problems Within a Marriage

A marriage is a commitment that many people take for granted worldwide, with the US being the highest ranked country with the most number of divorces per year. Now why is that exactly? Is it because they get bored and need change? Is it a financial problem that makes either one give up midway? Did someone resort to infidelity and decide to leave their wife/husband with kids bearing the brunt of a divorce/separation?

Post Birth Depression
Mothers will go through a period of depression right after they give birth, since their hormones are all haywire, where minute/major things could drastically affect them. It is important for mothers who get overly depressed to seek help, with someone by her side at all times through this phase, while attending to the baby.

When the Baby Takes Up Her Time
A man needs to understand that when his wife spends too much time with the baby and forgets about his needs, that she is just doing her job as a mother. She is bound to be attached to her little one, because how obvious is it that she has to be at the infant's beck and call for the first two years at least? This might frustrate you, but you need to know that mothers as much as fathers should concentrate on the baby once he/she is born.

Lack of Sex
You can't seriously expect her to sleep with you right after the baby is born. Her body has to resume its normal state after the changes it has been through. Yes, a baby may wail in the middle of the night, or scream for attention at 4 am, but that doesn't mean you brood over how you aren't getting sex, when the real thing you should be worrying about is how you can help ease her troubles and be of a help when it comes to the baby. A woman in time, has to know that her man needs her, and that she can't force upon him a sexless marriage. Women need to give men the time of day as well, even if things get rough with work and the baby. Take time out to spend some quality time with him, if he shows signs of stress.

Common Marriage Issues

There are some major red flags that shoot up every time a sign comes to the fore, and you conveniently ignore them or see these as something that shouldn't be taken too seriously. So what are the signs that hint at a marriage being on the verge of a split? How can you tell if it's on the rocks?

A Match Not Made in Heaven
Yesterday you were a happy couple, with no troubles or problems to rock your boat. Now suddenly you complain to your friends and close family, that you feel smothered, frustrated, angry, upset and just plain old fed up with the unhappy marriage you're trapped in. So what now? Divorce? I don't see how people pressure their partners into signing a prenuptial agreement, so that 'if' something should take place to separate the two, there's money and assets that you will get. That is why when women marry for money, men are in a pickle from the second they say, I do. Don't snicker in agreement, men sometimes find themselves happily involved with women who are naive and have the money, where men are the complete opposite and know how to play their cards right. No compatibility in a marriage anymore is a sad scenario that falls upon a couple, that once found things perfect in one another, and now can't stand to be in the same room with each other.

Silent Problems
Another fix married couples get into, is when there is lack of communication in a marriage. No one is ready to put forward how they feel, or how things can take a turn for the better, and instead both are just wallowing in misery as the marriage deteriorates one day at a time. Talk out your problems and voice your concerns. What's wrong with us? How can we change our situation? How do we revamp our lives to make it less excruciating? How can we spend more time and not let the kids ruin 'us' time? How do we manage to pay the bills without running into debt? How do settle our arguments without one of us slamming the door as we exit the conversation? You have to sit down and talk these things out, because without doing so, you're just looking for an excuse to pack your bags and leave, with unresolved issues hanging midair. Take control of your problems like a grown up and remember that what you have is not a relationship, but a marriage. This can't be over and done with like he/she were a date, but has to be worked on, to get it right.

Loveless Marriage
Sometimes, couples find themselves in a marriage that just doesn't translate into a loving one, where the two are forced to put on a fake facade to show people that, yeah we're a happy couple. In fact, each one has a thing going for him/her, be it job obsessions or of course, an affair on the side. The problem here is that, one of the two has lost interest in the other, out of boredom, monotony or from neglect. You need to know how to build trust in a marriage, and how to constantly keep things new and fresh. You can't expect to let your life and work swallow you whole, while your partner is left forlorn and alone. Some couples feel like there's more out there than just being with this one person forever, and both are busy having affairs, while the kids are affected in the process. Find out what went wrong, and retrace your steps in the marriage, and work on it before it falls to pieces. Coping with infidelity and divorce, can help you get through this time, should it ever boil down to that. It would help you greatly if you were to seek marriage counseling, and fix what you can before it all blows up in your face.

Abuse
It's sad when couples are put into such a situation where abuse forms a part of an everyday agenda. Be it physical, mental, emotional, verbal or substance abuse, both are affected by the constant attacks, and want to get out before either one loses his/her mind. I sympathize with women and men alike who have to put up with abuse from each other, and have kids to deal with at the same time. Some want to stay married for the sake of the kids, and others want to leave with them in order to distance them from such atrocities. Don't be afraid to ask for assistance, and seek advise about what you can dom through therapy or confiding in loved ones/friends.

As you can see, marital issues post pregnancy aren't the only things that cause families to break up, or resent one another. These surmount to the common reasons as to why marriages fail. It's time you did something to make it right, and work out a plan that can save your marriage, and fix it before someone gets even more hurt. Good luck.