Mama's Death

In the depth of the night
My mother, she’s a-sleeping
A deep, dark night
Under the rapture of the moonlight sun

Everyone is a-sleeping
Half- heartingly breathing
I feel their breath on me
Melodious, quiet

I crawl in with my mom
To dream a sleep-song
Nothing to be the same
Everything so different

The sun comes up and blinds me
And I only stare
Stare at what used to be
Stare at what now is
In my mother’s eyes

They come as I watch
Nobody their my comfort
As I watch and cry
I cry forever
Does anyone even know?

My shoulders being held
This really makes no difference, though
I swallow the guilt
It stays in me
As I try and smile

Deep inside I know it’s my fault
I know I could’ve helped
But if instead in Jesus’ name
Down inside I shout
At myself

Every now and then I see her
Often and often again
But it’ll never be the same
What if I’m insane
For me to see the dead

Until the time she leaves me
To see later again
I welcome her in my warming joy
To be with my friend
My mama

I still cry, under the moonlights glow
Which reflects me so clearly
I like to see her
But I cant
Not really, not anymore
I’m sorry

And because it is my fault
I could have saved her
I knew I’d kill her
Again and again in the memories

Oh dear mama, I truly didn’t mean it
Why would I mean you harm?
I’ll wait for you
Forever, I’ll wait

I’ll wait until you come back
My Mama