Loveless

I fell in love that fall,
Why did I fall in love with you?
Was it because of the way you acted?
Or the way you looked?
As always no one pays me no mind.

I am humiliated as usual,
I am ignored,
Cast out,
Hated,
None of that matters,
Maybe someday you will change your mind,
And love me.
I cannot blame you.

She is pretty,
She is not a tomboy,
She is dignified,
She is feminine,
Her skin is the color mocha,
Exotic unlike my pale,
Freckle ridden flesh,
Her hair is black,
While mine is as red as blood.
I don't blame you,
She is the ideal girl.

Winter, spring, summer pass,
And fall comes again,
Fall, the season when I held my sister's body,
Her blood staining my fingers red,
Fall the season, my father left my mother,
Passed away after having little brother,
Fall, when the leaves fall along with my hopes,
When the leaves die along with my happiness.

I ask myself,
Why do I love you?
I do not love you anymore,
After being made fun of,
I realize, you were nothing but an actor,
I know, I will never love again,
Even so if I should die,
I would choose you over my life in a heartbeat,
I would die for you over and over again,
Until the reincarnation cycle decides to expulse me.

Why does this happen to me?
Why must I be cursed with being loveless,
Of never feeling completeness?
That may go unanswered,
Winter comes and everything inside me freezes,
Along with the ice outside my window.