Love Lasts - Chapter 1

I ever so gently brushed my hand against Jamie's as we walked down the path toward the very familiar beach. He retook my hand in his, and intertwined our fingers. I rubbed my thumb back and forth against his cracked skin. Out of the corner of my eye, I studied Jamie as he concentrated on his thoughts. His expression full of concern, and pain, much like the expression I saw in Tim so many times. If I didn't know better, I would be enraged by his silent and distant manner. I would be horrified by the fact that he's been gone for these past months, and now that he is here, he can barely speak a word. But I've gone through this before with Tim. The first time he came back from war he was in complete shock. He spoke rarely, only when asked a question, his answers being merely robotic, and lacking interest. I know not to pry.

I know not to dig. I know not to get upset. That got me nowhere with Tim. And it's selfish. Though he only has a week here with me, and only slightly more time at home, I can't push him. I can't push him to open up, and act as if nothing is wrong. It would only make him shut me out more. I released his hand from mine, and watched as his face became more pained as he remained detached, abandoned and desolate. Tim had done the same every time I released him from a hug. It was the exact reaction. That pain and emotion that had been written across Tim's face, and now was spread across Jamie's. I wrapped my arm around Jamie's waist, and pulled him so close next to me. Our bodies glued to each other's, leaving no gaps. I rested my head against his strong-arm as we reached closer to the hill leading down to the beach. I looked up at Jamie and saw a tear forming in the corner of his eye. I felt my heart drop inside me; being torn apart at the face of a broken man.

"I'm sorry." Jamie spoke softly, his voice trembling.

"It's going to be okay. I love you Jamie." I muttered, trying not to cry.

Jamie's arm left his side, as it slowly drifted up to my back. His hand slid underneath my loose shirt, and slowly traced lines up and down the lower part of my back. His gentle touch made my heart flutter. I closed my eyes, and got lost in the moment, lost in his touch. My head swayed back to his chest, returning to a place of comfort. I felt his lips gently kiss the hair on the top of my head, as I exhaled deeply.

"I love you Anna, nothing will ever change that." Jamie's voice was filled with passion, and hurt. A tear seeped out of my eye, followed by a rush of tears. Jamie stopped instantly, and wrapped me in his arms so tightly. I hugged him so closely, breathing in his enchanting smell. Our embrace lasted minutes, neither of us wanting to let go; needing to be in each other's arms. As we parted, Jamie spoke much like Tim did a few days after his return from Niger.

"Can you distract me? I need to get these terrible thoughts out of my head." Jamie said weakly. I nodded knowing that it would help. "Just be your crazy self, don't hold back." A smile formed on Jamie's face for the second time since he arrived.

"Roger that." I winked.

I ran from Jamie as he chased me around on the beach. The sand latched to my feet, making them rather cold, but not nearly as cold as they would be if they were in the water. Since it is nearing the end of October and snow is expected to fall next weekend, I'm not crazy enough to go for a swim, let alone put any of my body in. Though I have been known to swim in May, sometimes, but the thought right now couldn't seem any more unappealing.

He finally caught up to me, and wrapped his arms around my stomach, pulling my feet off the ground. I let out a slight scream and laughed as Jamie twirled me around. He took a few steps forward towards the water, leaning me closer and closer to the ice water. I looked away from the ocean, and towards him, begging for him not to drop me in. He wore that mischievous and loving grin on his face, as he set me back down onto the ground.

"I would never let you go." Jamie whispered in my ear. There was something about the way he said it that made me believe he wasn't just talking about dropping me in the water. The usual red tint formed on my cheeks, forcing me to look away. A smile covered my face as I looked down at the sand beneath my toes. Jamie's fingers grazed my jaw line, and reached my chin, gently bringing it in line with his. He rubbed the back of his hand against my burning cheeks, and smiled triumphantly.

I smirked and was caught off guard as Jamie wrapped his arms around my body, and lifted me back up into the air. He carried me over towards the water, and then ran in. The bottom of his jeans were getting soaked, yet he kept going. He went knee-deep, then dove in, with me still in his arms.

"Jamie!" I laughed just before we both plunged under water, his arms still wrapped around me.

"I told you I wouldn't let go." Jamie said, rubbing his hand up the outside my leg as we sat underwater on sand, the icy water splashing against our waists.

I let out a loud laugh, and then pushed Jamie's chest down into the water. He joined in with my laughter, and wrapped his arms around my waist, lifting both of us out of water. I squeezed him tightly and looked up into his eyes.

"You are absolutely beautiful Anna." Jamie said shyly, rubbing his hand through my damp hair.

"Jamie, you aren't helping." I teased as I clasped my face in my hands. Though we were still standing knee-deep in the water, and my feet were starting to go numb, I could feel my cheeks burn intensely.

He laughed, filling my whole body with a warm, tingly sensation, but then his expression changed. His face turned cold, and distraught; pained, and filled with love.

"Thank you for the most incredible day Anna. And thank you for taking my mind off things. Can you promise me something?" Jamie's voice was broken, and shaking. I bit my lip and responded softly.

"Yes."

"No matter what happens Anna, promise me that you'll always wear that smile on your face. Bring it with you wherever you go. Wear it whenever you can. And don't let anyone or anything take it from you. Anna, you are too beautiful, too amazing, too perfect, and too deserving of an incredible life to not be happy, and to show those pearly whites of yours." Jamie paused, speaking between tears. "I know this is so hard for you. I can't even imagine the pain that this must bring you. It pains me every day to be apart from you, and apart from my family and friends back home. And please Anna, promise me this, if anything happened to me, please don't let it tear you apart. Don't let it wash that smile of your face, please, Anna, don't let that happen."

Jamie's tears flooded his face, making his eyes puffy and red. I leaned my head in against his chest, letting my tears drip down from my face. I gripped the back of his wet shirt, trying to send this ache I feel away.

"I promise." I barely got out. Both of us stood in the freezing water, lost in our embrace, crying. Holding onto something that both of us know could break any moment. Something that could rip our lives apart. Something that will bring us back to many moments like this. Yet something, both of us hoped, is filled with joy and strong enough to last forever.