Love Your Body, Love Yourself

I swear, if my weekend has a theme, it is definitely this one. I've just recently observed so many things that have had to do with issue--from my own insecurities that have popped up, to magazine articles that address this topic, to a conversation a friend and I had about our respective insecurities, to the SHEER GROWTH cosmetic procedures have gotten--and it baffles me at how hard we (women) are on ourselves and each other. Women have a set up a culture based mostly on appearance. We are highly critical of ourselves and highly critical of each other that I believe it's borderline, self-inflicted abuse. For instance, when women go out, whether it be to a club, restaurant, wherever, we get all dolled up. While part of it might be for the guys, I believe a large part of it is for each other. We want to look cuter than the next girl, the goal either being to land a man during the course of the night, or just the validation that we are more attractive than the "competition." We're constantly trying to one-up each other. I recently read a magazine article about the eating habits women have when they're around each other. (The exception being is if they're eating with people they feel 100% comfortable around.) They will survey how much the other girls they're with are eating so they don't eat more than anybody else--because the girl who actually finishes her meal is looked upon as the "fatty" and "unladylike."

HOW SICK IS THIS??? I swear, if men had any idea about the extent of our culture, they would be shocked!! Because I believe no man is as critical of women as women are of ourselves and each other. And we sure as hell can't blame the men. I think we lie to ourselves that the reason we are so focused on our appearance is so that we'll be more attractive to men--but I don't think men have anything to do with it. We make that assumption--I know that I have. For instance, in my life, I've felt like the ugly duckling more times than not, and I attributed this feeling of discontent to having had romantic sentiments for certain members of the opposite sex and not having those sentiments returned. I assumed it was because I wasn't attractive enough--but on looking back, no man has ever told me that I was ugly. I made that link, and for all I know, it could totally be a false assumption.

I think the main reason women have body issues and self-esteem issues is because of thoughts like these--assumptions that have no merit, really, and are, I think, poison, because they have a very real effect on how we perceive ourselves. I think the scariest part of this whole thing is that this critical habit we've gotten into is hard, if not impossible, to break, because we've been doing it for so long that it's like second nature. We do it even when we don't know we're doing it. I know I'm guilty of it.

I didn't write this to get a pity party. I just got to thinking about things, and it's shocking at how hard we are on each other and ourselves. It's sick, really.