Love and Marriage-- relationship problems? Redefine Infidelity

Whether it is a question of relationship in love or marriage, I expect my partner to be completely loyal to me—mentally, spiritually and of course physically. My definition of perfect love and romantic relationship is that my partner or spouse should not even think of or look at someone else with appreciative eyes, not to speak of expressing his appreciation for that person. It is cheating. It is an act of infidelity. I must go for divorce.

I am the most beautiful man or woman in the world. My partner must, therefore love me and me alone. He must remain riveted to my beauty. Mine is the tastiest, most sumptuous, delicious and luscious dish ever made and he should eat it daily without asking for a change. He should never get bored with it.

This is perhaps the universal human nature especially in matters of love and marital relationships. We are all hyper possessive.

Although we are fully aware that that change is the law of nature, we cannot allow that law to operate in case of our partners in love.

The truth is that it is difficult to stay in the same state of mind. The intensity of passions aroused by the love at first sight subsides in course of time degenerating into monotony and boredom. It is very human. It is just natural.

If we understand this basic human need for change in our love relationships and marriage and allow some level of personal liberty, most failures in love affairs or marriages resulting in divorce can be avoided.

The problem with most of us, however, is that although we are very well aware of this human reality in matters of love and marital relationships, we cannot overcome our urge for possessiveness and feel hurt if our partner appears to act like a natural human being.

Let us understand that no body can go out daily and dine at different restaurants. No body can continue holidaying, cruising or flying beyond limits. You feel bored there too. In fact, you get more easily bored while you stay out a little longer. You may get home sick and feel like coming back to your home with greater intensity.

You compare the peace, comforts, sincerity and simplicity of your sweet home with the artificiality of commercial relationships outside. In fact the home starts appearing all the more sweet if only you are allowed to go out once in a while.

But this can happen only if the partners in love allow some space or liberty for change in relationships. What is true is that every one feels bored with the same situation and wants a change. It does not mean that you won’t enjoy the same dish if it is served again after a gap of time. May be you will remember its taste, yearn for it and even enjoy it more than ever before. Let us admit openly what we know is true in our hearts. This possessiveness is, quite often, the cause of stress in our relationships.

Let’s change our psychology and redefine infidelity and the concept of true love. Let’s dare to bare our hearts and eliminate the stress and anxiety.

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