Lou's Life Chap 11 "Lovers"

You know, the different types of women in society never ceases to amaze me. Some females make me proud to be a woman, because they have the courage and the strength do do something great. Something that makes us stand apart from men, and proves to the boys once again, that we are just as smart and capable as they are. Then occasionally, some females make me ashamed for my gender, they give women a bad name. These are the women that men use as the example when try to make a point about the inferiority of women. Can you imagine having to listen to 50 years worth of "Blonde Jokes?" Also, the way women view sex in this day and age is appalling to me. Women are so free and loose with their bodies. Back when I first came out into society, the only "loose" women were prostitutes. Prostitutes back then were a very rowdy, wildly dressed crowd. They were generally sick because of all the diseases they caught from all the men that used them repeatedly. It really was a very disgusting business, being used by several different men with no "protection" and without properly cleaning yourself between "sessions". A proper, decent lady never, ever had sexual relations with a man unless she was married to him. If she did have an affair, it was done very discreetly and kept a deep secret. Nobody spoke about it, and if she was discovered, her reputation would be forever ruined. No respectable man would ever look at her, much less touch her. .

To me, that still just seems wrong. Giving yourself, like that, in that way to someone is something that should be considered special, precious, even sacred. There is a reason why diamonds are so valuable, because they're rare. If some one was to start handing diamonds out on the street corner, they would lose their value. When you fall into bed with just anyone and every one, you have nothing that makes you special and precious, you become common and used. I have morals, values and standards, and I definitely consider myself better than a common whore. Call me old-fashioned, whatever you want, but it is my opinion that a woman and a man should have some sort of relationship before having sex. That being said, as I said before, I do try to keep up appearances of having a normal college sex life. But it is just that, only for appearances sake. There is no real connection there. There have been few, very few members of the opposite sex that took the time to try to make a connection with me. I have only had a real connection with one partner

Every girl remember's their first time, don't they? Being that I left home at 8 yrs old, and then was on my way home for my wedding when I was taken, so my mother and my elder sister's never got the chance to explain the events of the wedding night. And as I became an adult, and I was surrounded by nuns, there was certainly none of them I could go to to ask for information. So when I met Quinn I was a virgin, a total innocent in in the fact that I had never even spoke to anyone about sex, much less actually experienced it.

Our eyes never left each other as we went down the corridor, I was a little bit frightened, but Quinn seemed so confident, so sure of what we were about to do. The trust that he had been building in me paid off, I trusted that whatever he was going to do, he would not hurt me. In the months that I had been working with Quinn, I had come to care for him, maybe even love him. Maybe it wasn't love, maybe it was dependence. Sort of like the same phenomenon that occurs when a patient falls in love with their doctor, you form a bond with someone who cares for you, protects you, teaches you. Quinn kicked open his door to his room, carried me in and sat me on the bed. I was nervous and shaking. I sat very still on the edge of the bed and watched as he lit a small stick from the torch and began going around the room lighting the candles. The candle light bathed the room in a soft. warm glow. That done, he put the torch outside in the corridor and closed the door. He turned around and leaned against it. The look he was giving me made me feel like a blanket of heat had settled over me, tingling prickly heat from the top of my head to the tip of my toes. "Your nervous." Quinn observed from the doorway.

"Yes, very much so. I have so many things going through my head at this point. I don't do this lightly, it doesn't come easily for me. I mean first of all, should I allow you to do this? I said yes, but I am fighting a battle with my head and my heart. My heart says yes, that this is all right, go ahead and allow myself some happiness. You took me away from my real family, you are my family now, and doing this would truly connect us for eternity. Do I want to be attached to you for eternity? Are you sure you want to be attached to me? But, I cannot get out of my head the teaching that has been drilled into my head by my teachers at the convent, that intimacies between man and woman are only sanctioned by God in the institute of marriage. But then I also think that I am already damned, it's not like I could make my spiritual situation any worse than what it already is. So then second of all, even if I can convince myself this is to be allowed, I have no carnal knowledge. I don't know what to expect or what I'm supposed to do. There is always the fear of the unknown. I'm afraid I won't be good at it, that I will not enjoy it, that you will not enjoy it. I can only hope and pray that you would be tender and patient with me until I learn how to please you."

"Mon cher, it will be alright. I promise to you, you will enjoy it." Quinn had come to sit beside me on the bed. "But you don't know. There are things- " I began to protest. Quinn interrupted " Not tonight. Whatever reasons there are, they can wait. We'll take care of them together. Tonight we don't think, we just feel." He was running his fingertips slowly up and down my spine as he said this. When he got to the back of my neck, he started loosening the strings that kept my wimple tied to my head, pulled it off, and let down my braid. It hung heavy between my shoulders. I watched him as he stood, stepped back in front of me and took off his surcoat, and then begin to remove his tunic. This was my first look at the naked chest of an adult male. He was beautiful, and suddenly I was very, very glad I was sitting down. His steel eyes watched me as I shyly studied him. His shoulder length black hair hung across his shoulders and looked like raven's feathers. On his left shoulder was an angry red scar where he had been bitten that matched the one on my neck. His skin was the color of buttered cream and he had a light furring of hair on his chest. The hair formed a line, like ants marching down a tree. My eyes followed the line down , across the ripples of his striated stomach until it disappeared beneath his trousers. As I realized what it was leading down towards, I quickly turned my head and if I'd had blood flowing through my cheeks, I would have turned three shades of red.

"My dear, there is no need to be shy now" He said with a sarcastic grin. He reached down and put his hands on my shoulders and pulled me up to stand before him. He moved his hands up to either side of my neck, and tilted my face up towards his. This time I looked up into his eyes as he kissed me. The kiss was slow and intimate, but this time the warm, wet silk held a promise of passion, and indication of things to come.. I put my hands up, they seemed to move of their own accord to tangle in the hair of his chest. His hands moved off my neck and started fumbling with the buttons and the laces on the front of my dress. He slid it down my arms, and my dress fell off in a gentle halo around my feet. Then his hands were back on my neck again, and he ran his fingers up into my hair, captured the end of my braid and released the tie, letting it fall loose down my back. He broke contact with my mouth, stepped back only slightly and his eyes never left mine as he picked me up again and climbed on the bed with me. I was naked and I was aware of it, but it was like when I first met Quinn and he bit me. I didn't feel afraid, or shy, or self-conscious in any way, it all faded away behind his hypnotic eyes and velvet voice.

He hovered beside me for a moment, kneeling, looking down at me like he was a starving man being allowed to sup at the King's table. "By all the saints, you are exquisitely beautiful. Ma petite fleur, ma belle" was all he said as he lay down beside me. Once there he sent his mouth on a journey. Traveling down my neck and onto my shoulder, across my chest and down my stomach. His hands, his fingertips were floating across my skin everywhere. Somewhere in the midst of it all he divested himself of his boots and trousers. He was playing me like I had once seen the Abbess play the lyre, her fast moving fingers making the instrument produce such beautiful tones. I closed my eyes and drifted away. Every place on my skin, my neck, my scalp, my breast, my stomach, my ankle, every where he touched was like his hands were attached to live electrical wires, the nerves raw and exposed. I couldn't think, couldn't speak, there was no sensation other than feeling. It was like listening to a beautiful piece of music. Except the music was me, I could hear it, I could feel it on my skin, I could taste it on my tongue, it was all around me and within me all at the same time. The feelings had an ebb and flow, seesawing skyward and earthward. I had a feeling of fullness and then a tightening below my stomach, and everytime I floated skyward, it got tighter. I felt I was going to explode if it continued without relief. Somewhere far, far away I heard someone moaning, with heavy labored breathing. I opened my eyes a little peek. Quinn was now above me, my hands were making fists in his hair, and we were moving together in a rhythm as old as time itself. And I realized the moaning was coming from me.

I opened my eyes wider, and found Quinn staring into my eyes. The hard shell of blue ice was completely gone, and Quinn was as vulnerable as I had ever seen him. The emotions I saw there were amazing to watch, concentration, power, lust, love, passion, pleasure. With each thrust, Quinn was tightening the cord in my stomach until it felt like it was going to tear me in half when it finally snapped. Quinn must have been experiencing his own kind of tightening, because he closed his eyes and increased his rhythm. I closed my eyes again and listened to the tempo of the music increase. Suddenly, happily, just when I was about to tell Quinn to stop because I couldn't stand anymore, there was an explosion. To say I saw fireworks would be an understatement. I could feel the rush of adrenalin flowing through my veins, tremors flowing through my muscles like tiny earthquakes. I laid my head back on the pillow, arched my back and thought this was the most beautiful, amazing, intoxicating thing I had ever felt in my entire life. There are not enough adjectives available in the English language to accurately describe it. I was trembling and tingling all the way from the tips of my waist length hair, down to the edges of my toenails. The only other thing I had ever experienced that I could compare it to was the feeling I had the first time I fed on blood. Amazing that blood and sex are the only things that can get me this high. As I felt Quinn's warmth gushing into me, I left my body, I floated away on a sea of tranquility.

For what seemed like an eternity I couldn't move, couldn't breath, couldn't do anything, wasn't really aware of the world around me. Slowly, I returned to my self, became aware of Quinn laying on the bed underneath me. Somehow, I had gone from being underneath him to laying sprawled across his chest. His arms were around me and he was holding me with such tenderness. He was still inside me, which made me happy to still be connected to him in some small way. The feeling was beginning to fade, the adrenalin was wearing off. I felt like I missed it, like a junkie needing a fix, I needed to feel that again. I could be happy and stay in that floating world forever and ever. I knew now that Blood and Sex would be my entire world for the rest of my life. I slid off Quinn to lay on his left side. I propped myself on one elbow and looked down at the scar there and wondered if it truly looked like the one on my neck. I wondered how he had gotten it, what his story was. I kissed it gently, brushed it with my lips. Quinn shuddered. He opened his eyes and brushed my hair out of my eyes, gently grazing his knuckles across my cheek. "Can you please do that again?" I asked. Quinn just gave me an evil grin, cupped his hand around the back of my neck, pulled me towards him and kissed me.