Living Together - Is Live in Relationship 'IN'

Live-in relationships maybe in the news these days thanks to recent movies but, there are still many questions about it. Are people actually living-in? What about the societal and parental pressures? What if it doesn't workout? Here is what we find out...

COUPLE SPEAK

Finding out about your partner, before making the final commitment, is often the reason behind this relationship. As BPO executive Mary Johnson, who is in a live-in relationship for the past six months, remarks, "I have very erratic working hours so I want to check out if my boyfriend can adjust with me or not." On the other hand, DU student Anita Larson says, "I am very finicky about cleanliness and other daily chores, so I have to be very sure about the guy I marry. I don't want these things to create problems in my life." Political Science student Ina Bliss and management student Glenn Dicks have taken an apartment together in New York city. "Right now, neither of us are ready for marriage. But, we are so much in love with each other, that we thought why shouldn't we live together?" justifies Glenn.

Among the professionals, the MNC work culture with long working hours provides the rationale for couples opting for living together. Shruti Sinha, who works in a call centre, feels that she is open to both live-in and marriage and that her parents have no objection to it. "But, in case I go for a live-in, I would definitely want it to materialise into marriage someday", says Shruti. Management student Marry Rieger feels that it is always better to test the compatibility levels before you enter marriage. "Society attaches so much stigma to the divorced, plus it is a messy thing to happen. With live-in relationships it can be always be avoided," she says.

LEGAL SPEAK

Lawyers attribute the increase in live-in relationships among the young couples to lack of patience and the inability to adjust to each other. "Everybody has a pre-conceived notion about marriage and now-a-days the couple wants to walk out of it if it doesn't work out the way they had imagined. Due to the financial independence of both partners, none of them are willing to compromise," says Leslie.

"Inability to be accountable for something reflects the immaturity of the couple these days. Earlier, in our parents' generation, the couples put up with each other. Today, the tolerance levels have gone down," adds Donna Johnson.

APPROVED OR NOT

In most cases, the parents of the couple are not told about it. That is because, though such relations are acceptable to the youth, it is still far from being accepted among the older generation, which continues to believe in the institution of marriage. Remarks marketing executive Donald Saunders, "My parents have no clue about this relationship because they will never accept it. I will tell them about us only when I am ready to marry my girlfriend."

The morality question about such arrangements bring about varied views. According to management student Jim Peterson, "If it is just to rebel against the traditional norms, it is useless and if it is to test a relationship, I don't think it is an appropriate way to do so." Rajkotia, however, refrains from labelling it as either good or bad. "It's just an integral part of the new generation where the young want to make their own rules and defy traditional norms".

Things to keep in mind before going in for a live-in relationship
It might seem exciting and fun but keep in mind that you are not married. There is no commitment involved. You both are just sharing a room and space. When you both live with someone you are not married to, your level of commitment to the relationship is not at its full potential....