Little Do I know

Here I sit and think
Of ways I want to die
The way I will choose
The way my mind will flow

I want to see the darkness
I want to die to end all the pain
I need to find the ending path
I need to find the right time

The world for me is dark
There is no future
All is black, everywhere is dead
There is no happiness
There are black blood tears

The world for others around me
Is like that I longed to dream
It is bright, happy faces everywhere
The face I want to have
Everywhere you look there is no death
Only of those who are ready to pass on
Away from this world

But they have flowers and dancing butterflies
They have smiling children who do not hurt
They have a world where there is no pain
That is where they live
It is where I am going to be

I will be happy on the inside
I will be smiling from my heart
And all this hurt will go
All I need is the time to find it

I will look until I find
I am going to find a way out of this darkness
I am going to stop worrying about how straight things are
I will find away to be happy

I can make it through this for once and for all
I can make it through this
I know I can do this
I just have to drop the blade and let it go forever

I will stop thinking negatively
I will always think positive
But I will not agree today or forever that I am pretty