Life as I Know It - Chapter 16

Chapter 16

Maddie's POV

My mom and dad are annoyed that I still want to keep Ashlynn. They're trying to make me put her up for adoption, but I don't want to. She's MY baby I don't want someone else taking care of her! I haven't talked to Adam in forever, every time I get on he's not and every time he gets on I'm not on. I don't know what I want to do anymore. This job isn't going to be very good for me to support Ashlynn and it's not like Josh is helping at all with any of this. I don't even know if he knows that she's even born or if I kept the baby or not, but I don't think he even cares. I want Ashlynn to have a dad though.

"Hey Ashlynn." I said, as I walked up to her crib and picked her up. "Do you want to go for a walk with mommy?"

I got out a baby stroller and put her in it.

"Mom I'm going on a walk with Ashlynn."

I yelled before going out of the house and slamming the screen door shut behind me. I hate living here, it brings back so many memories. So many good memories and so many bad memories and most of the good memories are now bad memories because I kinda miss Josh. I miss how we used to be, but I hate the guy, he is now. Part of me wishes that I never got pregnant, but then I wouldn't have Ashlynn and I would have never met Adam.

"Maddie?" I hear from behind me, I turn around and guess who was standing right there.

"Josh?" I say surprised.
"You're back?"
"Yeah."
"Did you have the baby?"
"No, I'm just pushing an empty baby stroller."
"Ohh..."
"Wow."

I started to turn and walk away when he grabbed my arm.
"Can I hold her?"
"Sure."

I picked her up and handed her to him and the minute he held her, he smiled.
"She has your eyes."
"She has your lips."
"I thought they looked more like yours."

"Josh!" I hear someone yell. "Oh there you are, where'd you go? I was beginning to get worried."

"Uhm this is one of my old friends who just moved back into the neighborhood."
"She has a baby?" "What a slut!" I heard her mumble under her breath.

"Actually she uhh..." Josh began to say, but paused. He looked at me and I felt like I was going to cry. "She's mine." He finished.

"Josh, you told me you were a virgin."
"Well I guess people lie."
"Uhh. We're so over." She said and walked away.

"You didn't have to do that." I said.
"Do what?"
"Tell her she was yours."
"But she is mine."

"What happened? I thought you didn't want to be a part of her life or my life!"

"I said that, but I didn't mean it. Maddie you mean the world to me, I've always loved you and I've never stopped. I got scarred when you said you were pregnant and I didn't know what to do. I didn't think I could possibly be a good dad, I wasn't ready for it! I'm sorry I made you go through it alone."

"I didn't have to go through it alone. I had or have a boyfriend."
'Maddie, Do you... Do you love him?"
"Uhh... I uhh I don't know."
"Do you love me?"
"I don't know. It's been so long, and I had feelings for you but I don't know if there still there."

He walked up closer to me and kissed me.

"Please think about it." He said and walked away.

My head started spinning. What was I going to do? How was I going to tell Adam that Josh kissed me? Do I love Adam? Do I still have feelings for Josh? And what about Ashlynn? She needs a dad. But Josh? Or Adam? I don't know.

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