Lesbian Rethinks Her Sexuality, Sues to Make Gay Adoption Illegal

By Mark Hoerrner

Gavin is a precocious 7-year-old boy. He does the things that most boys do—plays, goes to school, plays some more, and spends time with his mother. And his other mother, but only on Tuesdays and every other weekend. Now, he’s in danger of losing one of his mothers because of a strange suit brought by his lesbian birthmother, Sara Wheeler, against her former partner and Gavin’s legally-adoptive second parent, Missy.

The bizarre case evolves not out of a misinterpretation of law, but out of a lack of law on the subject. In Georgia, there is no law that prohibits or specifically authorizes adoptions by gay or lesbian parents. When Gavin was two years old, Sara and Missy decided that Missy should legally adopt Gavin so that both parents would have custody of the child, who was conceived through artificial insemination. In an uncharacteristic move, the judge in the case noted that there were two loving parents—the fact that they were gay was an afterthought—and granted the adoption.

When Gavin turned four, Sara and Missy split over an affair. Now, birthmother Sara wants to remove Missy’s claim to Gavin based on the fact that no legislation existed at the time that would allow such an adoption. Part of her zeal to remove Missy’s claim stems from the fact that Sara now questions her own sexuality. She’s stopped dating altogether.

"I just don't feel comfortable in that scene," Sara Wheeler told the Associated Press. "I'm just trying to figure it all out."

Sara has not had much luck with Georgia courts. After a DeKalb County judge ruled against her, she took the case to the State Court of Appeals. Again, she lost her case. She then asked the Georgia State Supreme Court to hear the case, but in February, the court refused to hear the case. Undaunted, she’s making another plea to have her day in court but it’s unlikely that the state supreme court will change its mind about hearing the suit.

"There's nothing that states this is an acceptable adoption," she told the Associated Press. "If Georgia wants to allow [such adoptions], it needs to make proper laws."

The implications of the Wheeler case, however, go far beyond the boundaries of this single relationship, according to Southern Voice Editor Laura Douglas-Brown.

"It’s important because it has an effect on so many gay families beyond hers," Douglas-Brown said. "I don’t know the Wheelers and who would make the better parent, but seeking to overturn a second parent adoption is not the solution. If she thinks her former partner is an unfit parent, she needs to seek removal of custody on those grounds."

Second-parent adoptions are popular with gay couples, though Douglas-Brown admits that it’s a tedious process that is not always favorable when the issue of sexual orientation is raised.

"Georgia law leaves adoption decisions up to individual judges," she said. "Some judges agree that second parent adoptions are appropriate. Others, particularly those outside the metro area, have a less supportive opinion."

Most cases about gay adoption covered by Southern Voice and other Georgia publications have revolved around the issue of partners who raise a child together and then split without ever having gone through the adoption process.

"Breakups rarely go well," Douglas-Brown laments, "and most people use whatever they can as a weapon against a former partner. Given the dearth of legal protections for gays in Georgia, we really have to work to protect what we do have and not use every weapon we can to damage a relationship because the implications may reach much further than we expect."

Meanwhile, the legal technicalities of the Wheeler case don’t trouble Gavin. He doesn’t understand the rules of custody and regardless of the fallout from the court appeals, he’s still looking to his two parents for love and support. He may never realize that in this game of relational one-upsmanship, he’s the first casualty.