Lack of Empathy in Relationships

Having grown up in a, pretty much prefect family, the lack of empathy in relationships was not introduced to me till I saw one of my friend's family. Well, it can be terrible. A relationship, any relationship, with a person who lacks empathy can be worse than being alone in life. Lack of empathy in relationships can break a person down. I have seen people lose all hope from any kind of empathy from the world. In fact, majority of broken marriages (due to lack of empathy), lead to the children having no faith in the institution of marriage. Are you going through it? I'll try to help you out.

Lack of Empathy Causes
The first question that would come to one's mind would be "what causes this lack of empathy?". One thing that one needs to understand is that we cannot always telepathically communicate our emotions and feelings to each other. It requires openness.

Some people are not capable of understanding people's emotions. They claim to be very practical and, hence, fail to see the importance of emotions and understand them. These people, do feel that they hurt their loved ones at times, however, they believe it is required. You see, they see life from a practical angle, where "what is, is!". If you need to pull the band-aid, you pull it. They cannot comprehend the pain behind the pull. As such, they question the hesitance about doing it.

Others are not exactly lacking empathy. The odd part is that they are completely aware of the feelings of the person. However, they take pleasure in causing pain to the person. More so, they may even use this knowledge to manipulate the person. However, in certain relationships, lack of empathy can be for two reasons. Firstly, the person could have psychopathic tendencies, and something about the opposite person got him riled up. Or, the person could simply have something against the opposite person. In such cases, lack of empathy in a relationship is a result of cheating in the relationship.

Lack of Empathy in Marriage
Lack of empathy in a marriage can be an awful ordeal. Not only for the one who is subject to the lack of empathy, but to the one who is not being empathetic as well. For the one who is subject to it, the frustration rises out of having a partner who just does not understand. For the one who is not being empathetic, the frustration of not being in a healthy marriage, creeps in later.

Lack of empathy in a marriage comes out of the lack of understanding and trust. In most marriages that experience lack of empathy, a similar pattern is observed. It is observed that in the start of the relationship, they used to talk to each other about everything, and everything was very beautiful. They spent time together, and the pressures of the world were lesser. However, later on, the pressures increased, and the time that they spent together reduced. They barely got the time to talk to each other about their feelings. More over, whenever they did try to talk, they were mostly tired and irritable. This led to fights. As such, as time passed, display of feelings for each other also reduced. Ultimately causing the lack of empathy in relationship leading to an abusive relationship.

The best solution for such a case is a second honeymoon. The concept of honeymoon vacation is basically to allow the couple to bond with each other, physically, mentally and emotionally. As such, if you see that this bond that you share is breaking, it is time to go for a honeymoon again. Make it a long one. Give each other time, and spend some quality time together. You can also try couples counseling to regain the loving empathy that you once felt and then lost.

Spouses who lack empathy as an effect of psychopathic tendencies, they need to visit a psychologist and get themselves treated. Lack of empathy is simply the beginning. Things can get far worse, if not controlled in time!

Lack of Empathy in Children
Lack of empathy in a marriage, often leads to lack of empathy in children. The fact remains, that children learn from the example that their parents set. It is a part of child development. Of course, there are exceptions and differences in perception. But barring these exceptions children get affected by the lack of empathy in their parents.

If a child sees one parent not caring about the other's feelings, the child will lose respect for them as well. Basically, the environment in the house will be very narcissistic. Wherein everyone simply cares about themselves, and fails to see and consider another's feelings. Mostly in such a case, siblings tend to hold empathy for each other, but lose it for their parents. Unfortunately, the parent who they lose the empathy for, mostly, is the one who is subject to the lack of empathy from the spouse in the first place. Another side effect of lack of empathy in children, is that later in life they tend to lose faith in marriage and love. It is mostly found that such children have acute fear of commitment and don't believe in love or marriage.

The best solution for this is to display affection in front of the child. Let him know that his parents love and respect each other. Teach him important values in life and show him how important it is to follow them.

Lack of empathy in relationships is a natural outcome of a dysfunctional relationship. One could also say, that a dysfunctional relationship and the lack of empathy in it forms a vicious cycle. To break the cycle, you need to find love and empathy in yourself and share it with your loved ones. It will be tough at first, but it is the only kryptonite for this evil. This is where I sign off! All the best!