Lack of Communication - the #1 Reason for Divorce

As confirmed by the American Counseling Association's, the most prevalent theme running through our country's failed marriages is lack of communication. Since we as Americans love to communicate, it seems odd that our communication is failing with the most important person in our life. This fact results in our country divorce rate being 50%, and holding. If you are on your second or third marriage, increase the rate.

The beginning of a lack of communication between husband and wife is usually the inability to talk about the little things, which turn into bigger things when frustration and anger is built up. Bigger issues are more difficult to resolve than smaller ones.

Using communication to work out your problems is key to a healthy relationship. Here are a few keys points to help you build communication with your spouse:

1. Truly listen to each other, while staying quiet and focused on what they are saying.

2. Listen to the actual words and underlying feelings and emotions.

3. Try to understand from another perspective, try to understand the other side of the argument. This doesn't mean you necessarily have to agree.

4. Rephrase what the other person is telling you, this will ensure a clear understanding.

5. when you let your partner know you are not only listening to their words, but feelings as well, you will validate their emotions.

6. Tell your partner that you are truly sincere by being aware of the nonverbal messages you may be sending your partner. This can include facial expressions and tone of voice.

7. Tell the other person how you are feeling and what they are doing wrong, by using I statements.

8. Make the person aware ahead of time that you would like to have a discussion. this will make it seem less like an attack and let them gather their own thoughts as well.

9. Set aside time to talk without interruptions from life or children.

10. Try to keep your discussion on topic.

The use of these tips should help and encourage you and your spouse in communicating on an effective level. And this may save your marriage. Try not to rehash past occurrences, keep your discussions present. The goal is to focus on solutions you can work on together.

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Go to www.lightyourfire.com to learn more on communicating better with your husband, wife or lover. Save marriage without seeking counseling.