King Of The Jungle

A Short Story that was written for my A-S Level Coursework, I would like to go back to it now though and try improve it with some of the your advice. It is about two opposed factions in Ancient China, around 200AD.
A soft petal fell from above, silently, delicately touching the sun-kissed earth. It lay, no wind to disturb its silent rest, until a careless foot pressed it deep into the hard ground.

The tall man paced the gardens silently. He was bedecked in snow-white dress, beautifully decorated with lace, blue as a summer’s sky with exquisite purple trimmings. In his right hand he clutched a feather fan, bound with gold and embroided with silk. A bead of sweat trickled down his face. He bit his lip and took a deep breath. He continued to pace, until the large door came to life.

A tall, firm man stood in the frame of the door. His perfectly rounded eyes coldly fixed on the man in white. Neither made a sound. For seconds they stood, motionless. Like statues they remained, until the man in the frame turned and returned to the council inside, followed by the one in white. He was greeted by the cold voice of the taller of the men, his words plain and burdened with sorrow.

"Sit, Jin Yung." Yung followed his instructions obediently, without question. Silently he took a stool in the first row at the hard oak table, facing a man in purple, skin fairer than a new-born baby. At the head of the table sat the tall man, he looked to have great weight upon him, his face was pale and his mouth fought to stop itself dropping. His eyes battled against tears. He was Leo Jiao, he could not show his fear for losing what he fought so hard to earn. The fifteen members of the council watched him intently, like the dog watches the bone. He slowly gulped, took a deep breath and opened his quivering lips to speak.

"Tonight, Leo Jiao dies!" roared the Pang family leader, Pang Jun. "Our forces will grind him into the dust." His council motionless. Respect? Fear? "Our armies are double the size and have twice the heart. He doesn’t stand a chance!" Pang Jung spat. The vein is his forehead bulged out like a Boa, his face redder than a plump tomato. He stood before his council members, all of them silent until a man, confident in his body language, moving openly and calmly rose from his seat. He began to make his way to the head of the large table. Silence. Until, at last he opened his lips and began to speak, much quieter, calmer than his leader.

"My lord, we must not be hasty and rash, even with a superior force we need strategy to become victorious." At this, Jun opened his mouth to speak, but was silenced by his lead strategist’s speech continuing. "Does the Lion not beat back packs of Jackals? Leo Jiao has much siege weaponry, an intelligent strategist and his people love him." Jun was not pleased, he opened his broad jaw to yell, took a breath, but the graceful strategist, Meng Tzu, calmly placed his fore-finger on his superiors lips. He began to speak, when his hand, currently gracing Jun’s lips, suffered a sharp searing pain as it twisted. A huge hand, like that of a bear’s paw slammed his head against the hard, wooden table. The enraged, spluttering Pang Jun began to roar,

"I am your leader, your superior! When I speak, YOU listen!" The whole council sat, frozen in terror. Not a sound was made, save for the groans of Meng Tzu and the raging breath of Pang Jun.

Slowly he lifted his monstrous paw, he looked at Meng Tzu. "Well? What’s the battle strategy?" Meng Tzu stuttered, fumbled and stumbled. He fell backwards three paces, seeming to put miles between him and the tyrant he stood before.

"W-well…" he began…

…Jin Yung stood, watching his leader and good friend break before him. The council’s sympathetic eyes bored deeply into Leo Jiao. He could feel their cold glare drill through him effortlessly. Jin Yung, now desperate to help his good friend stepped forth, began to speak gracefully, his speech perfect as if it was written and read.

"Our strategies are old, our army small, but we have something Pang Jun’s forces do not. Your people love you, morale is high. Based on the facts at hand, I have come up with this plan. I trust you will not be displeased." Fifteen pairs of eyes looked up at the wise man, like the young to their older siblings. The graceful strategist slowly fanned his ageing face. Each imperfection told its own story.

Slowly, he began to unveil an ingenious plan. "There is one thing no creature or being can defeat. One thing that strikes fear into the mightiest of monsters." The faces of the council remained blank, clueless to what their strategist spoke of. Slowly, Leo Jiao looked up, breaking his stare with the cold floor. His sad features lightened slightly, very slightly. He looked at Jin Yung and spoke, his voice breaking, frail.

"F-fire…"

"Yes! Fire!" Jin Yung began to get excitable. "We battle in a shore-side forest, his men will come from wooden ships. When they enter the woodland, their voices screaming, ringing, loudly, following our ‘decoy.’ When the trees surround them, we raze them, set them alight! In the panic they flee to their ships, but we burn those too! Demoralized, scared, our forces emerge and slaughter them like the pigs they are!" The council roared with excitement. For the first time in three moons, Leo Jiao smiled. Quietly, almost to himself, he spoke,

"Tonight, I finally kill the menace that is Pang Jun." He paused. "We kill the menace Pang Jun." He drew his blade, rose it into the air and let out a cry. A cry that would strike fear into the hearts of men opposed to his force. Leo Jiao, ‘The Lion’ was ready to once again become, ‘King of the Jungle.’

Wild orange flames plagued the forest. Flames with the power of Chu Jung’s(1). Everywhere the reddy-orange flood closed in on panicking troops. Screams came from boy’s mouths, conscripts of the Jun army. Young boys crying for their parents, an arrow in the back, the only thing to silence their grief. One boy collapsed under the pressure of the heat chasing him, constricting him. A rallied horseman showing no mercy, drew his blade and swiped the child’s head from his shoulders. A fountain of blood sprayed from the stump as the head fell hard and rolled into the smoke and flames, gone forever. Pang Jun, enraged, mounted his steed and rode down a winding, clear path. Flames striking fear into his feeble, cold heart. He found only one route was not in the blaze, his men behind him, lagging behind, barely in sight through a thick smog. He didn’t care, he didn’t need them, he needed to escape. On he rode, his men behind him, lost forever in a black coat, cold as his heart, finally free from the intense fire’s heat. Those not burnt shot by arrows in the back, shot from phantom bows, as if the weeping, burning trees themselves fired in anger.

At last, the smog and death infested trail and trial was over. The trail came to its end, he recognized this place… this ‘new’ location… his army’s ships lay, silently, calmly on the soft, flowing waves. Freedom, he had escaped.

A sharp searing pain pierced his ankle. He let out a scream and spun to face his attacker as he collapsed to his knees. The hot flames licked his cheeks. He saw a blurry figure, Leo Jiao? Yes, Leo Jiao. He towered above Pang Jun. Slowly, confidently, Leo Jiao dropped his bow and drew his blade, handled ‘Green Dragon’ on account of its emerald encrusted hilt. He saw his enemy’s ships. They sat calm. Free from the blaze. His inquisitive mind wondered why they were not razed as planned. Pang Jun looked into what he thought was Leo Jiao’s face, unclear to his eyes. He fumbled for his sword as Leo Jiao raised his own. He swung at Pang Jun’s neck, his sword so sharp it could have been crafted by Kuan Ti(2), for the pure purpose of ending this war when, all of a sudden, it stopped. He stopped. He put his hand to his chest. The amour was cold. He ripped the breastplate from his torso. His chest felt no different from the cold, hard amour. His hand stained red. Pang Jun bled from his palm. Caught the blade in his hand? The searing pain made him laugh. Leo Jiao’s sword fell with a crash, his cold body fell to the ground and, as if the Gods themselves wept, it began to rain. Heavily they beat down, turning the scorched ground into an ash-ridden pool of black-brown mud. A gush of red snaked its way into the muddy pool. Leo Jiao’s green mandarin cap fell into the pool, dying it both red and black, coming to a clayish brown as it drifted away from The Tiger, face down, slain.

The council were killed. Murdered. The Black Tao standard was hoisted. Pang Jun prepared. Prepared for a new age. Prepared to cleanse the land…

1. CHU JUNG
God of fire. Chu Jung punishes those who break the laws of heaven.

2. KUAN TI
God of war. The Great Judge who protects the people from injustice and evil spirits. A red-faced god dressed always in green.
   By Aaron Baxter
Published: 7/13/2007
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