Kinds Of Love

Statistics show that love is one of the most common themes encountered in songs, films and books. Love is defined as one of the most uplifting feelings and also a style of life, which brings people together and makes this though life a lot easier and more beautiful. One of the numerous writers who laid their ideas and thoughts regarding love on paper was Josh McDowell, in the famous book "Love givers, love takers and all kinds of love".

"Love If"

The author identifies three manifestations of love which he then carefully describes: "love if", "love because" and "love full stop". The kind of love finds its essence inside the conjunction "if". The one who offers love puts a series of conditions and requests for the partner; if the partner satisfies the conditions he receives the promised reward: love. To a closer look, this type of love doesn't even sound like one, but a very large number of people choose it, especially the girls with low self-esteem fall for it. "Love if" is very similar to blackmailing, because when the requests are not satisfied the other stops receiving love. Some of the most common expressions are the following: I love you if you accept to move to my place or if you don't do that it means you don't love me. This kind of loving may cause a lot of stress and anxiety to the one being conditioned, because that person knows that if he/she fails in any way, the unconditioned love is not there to catch him/her.

"Love Because"

The second identified category of love is "love because". This is the most world-wide-spread love and it is accepted by the great majority of people. This is a love that always justifies its election: I love you because you are pretty; I love you because you are smart and so on. Therefore, "love because" is always based on merits and because of this it always involves pride. Although it seems to be easy and simple it is not very deep, nor everlasting. In case one of the loved ones' attributes disappears, the love is in a dilemma, because until that moment it was due to that particular feature. If someone is loved because of his beauty, in case of a terrible accident the beauty disappears and together with it so does the love. Again, this type of love is not centered on the partner but on the one who loves, who is being satisfied and accomplished by the attributes the other possess.

"Love Full Stop"

The last kind of love discussed by the author is called "love full stop". Although very few practice this type of love, it is the most fulfilling because it is always centered on the heart of the other. Those who love like this they simply love. Full stop. They make the decision to do so, and then nothing can stop them from loving, not an accident, or the failure of the others. In order to be able to love like this you firstly need to totally accept and forgive yourself. Josh McDowell says that only those who know the heart of God can love like this, because knowing God is the only way to accept and love your own person. Then it is easy to focus on the others.

Furthermore, those who love full stop know that love is not just a feeling, but it goes beyond it. They know love is action and it is all about making the partner happy, about being faithful and keep promises, about sacrificing. The relationships involving this type of love put a lot less pressure on the partners and the stress is much diminished. Also, this environment is perfect for self-esteem development because both the partners enjoy unconditional love, regardless of their shortcomings. This kind of relationship is very effective on the communicating level because the individuals can express themselves freely without the need to wear a mask in order to hide some features that might cause rejection from the other. Another advantage for practicing this kind of love is the fact that both partners are more willing to give, in the sense that because they don't feel obliged to do so they respond with gratitude and statistics also show that these types of relationships are a lot more creative.

In conclusion, in this world where the rate of divorce is getting higher and higher and where people feel more lonely day by day, it is very important to find a strategy to make relationships work, and this strategy lies in the way we decide to love: "love if", "love because" or "love full stop".