Just A Dream - Part 1

I can still remember the sound of the ferry’s fog horn, alerting the throngs of people waiting at its dock. People who were lingering by the water, rushed to their vehicles and prepared to board. The ship’s entrance into the bay turned heads, and instantly fired up the engines of the cars and trucks that filled the large parking lot. The boat moved gracefully into its dock and opened its stern to allow its current passengers to exit.

My brother, who was 7 and fascinated with any type of machine that was big, was babbling with excitement. I cannot remember what exactly he was screaming about, but it was probably along the lines of "Look! It’s a boat!" It was not long before my mother took control of the situation and told my brother to calm down.

As of the vehicles disembarked, the cars waiting in line in front of us started to move forward onto the boat, reigniting my brother's excitement. We entered the bowels of the ferry, parked, grabbed our things to entertain ourselves for the 90 minute ride, and headed to the staircase. My brother ran to a window booth and dumped the contents of his book bag onto the table. A mountain of Lego flowed from the bag and fell off the edges of the table. My step dad, Evan, situated himself in the booth across from us. He lay down on the long side of the booth across from us and dozed off. My mom and I sat with my brother and settled into our books.

It only seemed like seconds before my brother was shaking my arm frantically.

"Sissy?" He asked. He was smiling up at me, with his big blue eyes fixed on mine. "Can you take me outside?"

I sighed, "We haven’t even left the dock yet, James. Maybe later..." I put my earphones in and turned on my iPod, determined to get through my book. James walked away disappointed, and began to play with his Lego.

Time passed, and all the while, James kept his eager eyes in me, bouncing in his seat and absent-mindedly playing with a piece of yellow Lego.

"Sissy?" He asked, once again.
"Yes, James?" I said sarcastically, taking out my earphones.
"Can we go outside now?" He asked, leaning across the table.

"I don’t think so, James." I paused to look outside, trying to find an excuse not to leave my book, "It’s raining outside, so the ride will be getting pretty rough."
He leaned closer, pressing on, "But you said!" He argued, angrily.
"But, I can‘t control the weather, bud." I retorted. There was an hour left of the crossing. He would survive.
"Sorry, James." I concluded, ending the conversation.

My mom looked at me and nodded in approval, suggesting that I had handled it well. She then put down her book and got up from the booth.

I looked at her, and asked confused, "Where are you going?"
"Evan and I are going to go get something to eat. Can you look after your brother for us?" She asked.
"Yeah, sure." I said.
"Thank you, honey." My mom replied, walking over to Evan, shaking him awake and then leaving the room with him hard on her heals.

I looked at James and smiled. He seemed content building a giant tower of Lego. Satisfied, I returned my attention to my book.

Once again, it felt as though only minutes had passed before I was shaken again. I had fallen asleep. Opening my eyes, my mom’s worried face filled my vision. Her face was red and her eyes were puffy. I looked around for Evan, but he was nowhere to be found. I assumed he probably had gone to the bathroom or something, but that did not explain my mother’s expression. I glanced across the table to look for James, but he was gone as well.

"Where is Evan?" I asked puzzled.
"He has gone to look for your brother!" She snapped at me, frustrated.

"What?" I stared at her, trying to wrap my head around, the fact that my brother was missing. I took a deep breath and tried to clear my head, "He is probably just wandering around somewhere." I sighed, "Don’t get all scared." I got up out of the booth, driven with pure annoyance. After I had fallen asleep, James must have decided to entertain himself elsewhere. I tried to walk steadily down each hall, but the rocking of the boat just would not allow it. I stumbled into the walls more than once, unable to walk straight, due to the utter chaos outside. The boat continued to rock violently, and it made me wonder how my brother could get around during this. I tripped going up the stairs and fell hard on my knees at the top. Groaning as I stood up once more, I continued my search.

I stumbled into the captain’s quarters, annoyed. The captain, being the kind man he was, ran over to me and grasped my arms to help keep me upright. The co-captain took the wheel.

"What are you doing up here, young lady?" He asked, bewildered.
"Have you seen my brother?" I asked him. My head was starting to hurt and I just wanted to sit down somewhere.

"N-no. I haven’t, dear. Sorry." He replied, puzzled. My heart stopped for a second as I realized what this meant. I had searched every hallway so far and I still haven’t found my brother.

Falling back down the stairs, I raced into the cafeteria and dropped on all fours, more anxious than before. I crawled frantically along the floor, my heart pounding harder in my chest, earning a number of puzzled stares from passengers. I shot onto my feet after finding nothing and clasped my hands around my hair, showing my pure panic now.

"No.." I whispered to myself repeatedly, shaking my head and trying to think clearly. Fear came crashing down on me like an atomic bomb. I caught a glance from workers coming my way, so I stumbled, once again, down the hall. The boat shook and a loud moan filled the ferry, then it was smoothly lifting upwards. The boat’s bow slowly lifted out of the water, preparing to crash back down.

"Oh no.." I gasped, grasping onto the closest railing as I felt the boat falling forward, back into the water with a crash. I lost my grip and fell onto the floor, rolling into another wall. I grabbed the railing above me, avoiding being tossed once again. I pulled myself up, going against the sway of the boat’s rocking, got to my feet, and looked out the window. The waves were skimming the tip of the window ledge. If James was out there, he would not have lasted thirty seconds.

My heart stopped, as the obvious hit me full force. I was so stupid! I bolted down the hallway to the door that led outside. The rain fell hard on my face and the wind pushed against me; fighting me, as I trudged towards the steps that led to the upper deck. I fell to my knees and slowly climbed up the grimy wet steps. My heartbeat loudly in my ears. My stomach was in my throat, and I wanted to die. This was all my fault.

"James!" I yelled, frantically. "James, please! It’s Sissy! Please answer me!" I began to cry and my words caught in my throat.

I choked his name out again, "James!" The boat rocked back and forth. I slapped the floor hard and forced myself to carefully make my way to the side railing. I quickly pushed myself up off the floor and stared into the angry bay. It was then, that I knew my search was over.

A few yards out, I saw the tiny pale corpse of my brother, being carried out farther into the bay. He was lying face down, unmoving, so I knew that there was no hope that he was alive.

My heart dropped and I screamed as loud as I could, cursing everyone and everything. My head spun and I felt dizzy. My body was crushed with the weight of my guilt.

"No! James!" I screamed, hysterically. I couldn't believe that this was happening to me.
My face and arms stung from the hard slap of the rain falling against my body. I was tired and I hurt everywhere.

Before I collapsed to the floor, strong hands grabbed my arms and held me upright. Then they began to shake me, getting more and more fierce every second. I tried to look up, but blackness clouded my vision. Why couldn't I see?

I opened my eyes, to see my brother standing beside me. His bright blue eyes smiled happily at me and the corners of his mouth turned up.

"Wake up, silly!" He sang, teasingly.

I looked around me, I wasn't on the boat. I was in the car. I looked out my window and saw the ferry pulling in gracefully at its dock. I sighed, relief spreading through me. It was just a dream.