Jabberwocky
Quite possibly the oddest thing you will ever lay eyes on...for now...
A short story
Jabberwocky: noun, a random assortment of nonsense in writing
Fredrick woke up in the closet. The janitor’s closet to be specific, if you’re that kind of person. He had no idea what happened or what time it was. He exited the closet and found himself in an empty hallway. Suddenly he realized what he had to do. He walked down the hall to the locker that had a sticky note that said "quid" on it. He turned it right side up, and dropped the lollipop wrapper that also said "quid". He heard a squeaking. A fat kid was pushing a wheeled dumpster through the hall. Fredrick had to proceed.
He walked through the hall, by a room with a really fat lady sitting at her desk saying to herself really loudly, "Let’s see here, let’s see here."
At the end of the hall he turned left and down a stair set, where there was some guy and this short kid with a big coat.
"Miss English, you miss English, gotta miss English, just miss English," the guy said, apparently to the big coat kid.
"Miss English," the kid said to Fredrick in a weird accent. Then he opened the door and vanished forever. That was the key.
Fredrick walked down more stairs, into the bowels of the building. He slowly proceeded to the end of the hall where room 108 was. He slowly opened the door.
No one was there.
It wasn’t supposed to be like this. Now he was sweating. He heard a groan like someone had just found a large, stinky turd that had refused to go down the toilet. A fat midget walked out of a room in another hall across Fredrick. He started running frantically, his arms flapping against his body like limp chickens.
Fredrick had no choice but to lock himself in room 108.
The midget banged against the door, wanting flesh. There was a gurgling, and the room became quiet. Fredrick tried to open the door, but the doorknob fell off and exploded during the hubbub. He was locked in. He was going to have to eat himself eventually. But now he had to try and get out so this story won’t be so short.
Right when Bob opened the door he slipped and smacked his head against the sink. Apparently people didn’t know how to use the bathroom. He left to try and find another one.
He really had to go. But every bathroom he found was either too slippery or smelled like dead people.
He heard an odd noise, like some furry animal yelling at the top of its lungs. Suddenly a fat midget ran out of nowhere and shoved Bob with surprising force into a nearby closet.
A closet that smelled really bad. It was also really cramped in there. All these odd utensils that seemed to have no purpose. But it SMELLED! A lot. Like some dead pig lathered in feces in a pile of garbage. Which was pretty bad. And the door mysteriously locked itself. Who was that midget? Wow did it smell! Bob was on the verge of puking when he involuntarily passed out.
He woke up exactly thirty minutes and twelve and a half seconds later.
The closet was still locked, but the midget had apparently gone away. The closet still stank.
Bob had to stay after school today to make up a test he missed. He had to go to the bathroom but couldn’t find any good ones.
GSHTHWACK! The door magically opened. Bob cautiously exited, checking for the cannibalistic midget. He was nowhere to be found. Well, he should probably finish his test. But he had to go to his locker first. He made his way to his locker, passing through the empty, silent hallways that composed the building in which he was educated (Read: school). He remembered he had a lollipop wrapper in his pocket, so he dropped it on the ground, thinking the custodian would pick it up.
Joey walked by, for some reason wheeling a dumpster. Bob proceeded down the hall, passing one of his classes. He passed a guy having a conversation with a kid with a big coat. When he got to the bottom floor and found no one in the room he had to be in, he started to get a little warm. He heard a growl and the fat midget came out of the locker room. Before Bob could get safely into the room, the midget grabbed hold of his foot and dragged Bob into a closet and propped him up in an uncomfortable position.
Jimmerford woke up in a tightly enclosed space with his hand in a bowl of warm water. Apparently he hadn’t "had an accident" yet, but his bladder felt ready to burst. He violently squirmed around until a door flew open and he fell on his face. He got up and started to run to the nearest bathroom. Any minute now he would lose control and it would be all over the place.
Jimmerford turned a corner and saw a bathroom, about a hundred feet away. He broke out into a dead run. He flung open the door, and suddenly his feet were flailing like a pair of underwear tied to a flagpole. Somehow his head was in his armpit.
His arm went around his neck and into his mouth. His forehead collided with a sink and he ended up all twisted and mutilated on the floor. A floor that was soaking wet with urine and something else…
"My face!" Fredrico yelled as he fell down the stairs.
For some reason he swore he saw a small, meaty little leg stick out and trip him just before he went down the stairs. Now he was ever-so-gracefully gliding down on his face. He fell in a twisted heap at the bottom. After about thirty painful minutes he stood up, and then fell over. He then got bored and went to sleep.
He woke up sometime later, hanging from the ceiling like a bat. His head felt like it had been eating McDonald’s for the past year.
He looked around. He saw no one, just a McDonald’s wrapper and a pile of bark. So now he had to get down. He began to ferociously gnaw at the rope until he fell on his face. He got up, twisted his nose back into place, and began to frolic. He was in mid-frolic when he heard the sound of glass breaking. He turned around to see a rabid panda galloping towards him at blazing speeds. Fredrico began to run away, but he tripped over his arm (he has long arms) and fell down a gaping hole into the abyss.
Well, it turned out not to be an abyss, but the boiler room. He didn’t know what the boiler room’s purpose was, but it didn’t matter, because a rabid panda was chasing him. He opened a random door to find an angry, fat midget with spaghetti all over his face. The midget picked Fredrico up and, with a complex series of movements, placed Fredrico in a disgusting position inside the boiler thing.
While Fredrico was contemplating how he got in the boiler, it began to heat up and Fredrico melted. Or so he thought.
FIN(for now)
Jabberwocky: noun, a random assortment of nonsense in writing
Fredrick woke up in the closet. The janitor’s closet to be specific, if you’re that kind of person. He had no idea what happened or what time it was. He exited the closet and found himself in an empty hallway. Suddenly he realized what he had to do. He walked down the hall to the locker that had a sticky note that said "quid" on it. He turned it right side up, and dropped the lollipop wrapper that also said "quid". He heard a squeaking. A fat kid was pushing a wheeled dumpster through the hall. Fredrick had to proceed.
He walked through the hall, by a room with a really fat lady sitting at her desk saying to herself really loudly, "Let’s see here, let’s see here."
At the end of the hall he turned left and down a stair set, where there was some guy and this short kid with a big coat.
"Miss English, you miss English, gotta miss English, just miss English," the guy said, apparently to the big coat kid.
"Miss English," the kid said to Fredrick in a weird accent. Then he opened the door and vanished forever. That was the key.
Fredrick walked down more stairs, into the bowels of the building. He slowly proceeded to the end of the hall where room 108 was. He slowly opened the door.
No one was there.
It wasn’t supposed to be like this. Now he was sweating. He heard a groan like someone had just found a large, stinky turd that had refused to go down the toilet. A fat midget walked out of a room in another hall across Fredrick. He started running frantically, his arms flapping against his body like limp chickens.
Fredrick had no choice but to lock himself in room 108.
The midget banged against the door, wanting flesh. There was a gurgling, and the room became quiet. Fredrick tried to open the door, but the doorknob fell off and exploded during the hubbub. He was locked in. He was going to have to eat himself eventually. But now he had to try and get out so this story won’t be so short.
Right when Bob opened the door he slipped and smacked his head against the sink. Apparently people didn’t know how to use the bathroom. He left to try and find another one.
He really had to go. But every bathroom he found was either too slippery or smelled like dead people.
He heard an odd noise, like some furry animal yelling at the top of its lungs. Suddenly a fat midget ran out of nowhere and shoved Bob with surprising force into a nearby closet.
A closet that smelled really bad. It was also really cramped in there. All these odd utensils that seemed to have no purpose. But it SMELLED! A lot. Like some dead pig lathered in feces in a pile of garbage. Which was pretty bad. And the door mysteriously locked itself. Who was that midget? Wow did it smell! Bob was on the verge of puking when he involuntarily passed out.
He woke up exactly thirty minutes and twelve and a half seconds later.
The closet was still locked, but the midget had apparently gone away. The closet still stank.
Bob had to stay after school today to make up a test he missed. He had to go to the bathroom but couldn’t find any good ones.
GSHTHWACK! The door magically opened. Bob cautiously exited, checking for the cannibalistic midget. He was nowhere to be found. Well, he should probably finish his test. But he had to go to his locker first. He made his way to his locker, passing through the empty, silent hallways that composed the building in which he was educated (Read: school). He remembered he had a lollipop wrapper in his pocket, so he dropped it on the ground, thinking the custodian would pick it up.
Joey walked by, for some reason wheeling a dumpster. Bob proceeded down the hall, passing one of his classes. He passed a guy having a conversation with a kid with a big coat. When he got to the bottom floor and found no one in the room he had to be in, he started to get a little warm. He heard a growl and the fat midget came out of the locker room. Before Bob could get safely into the room, the midget grabbed hold of his foot and dragged Bob into a closet and propped him up in an uncomfortable position.
Jimmerford woke up in a tightly enclosed space with his hand in a bowl of warm water. Apparently he hadn’t "had an accident" yet, but his bladder felt ready to burst. He violently squirmed around until a door flew open and he fell on his face. He got up and started to run to the nearest bathroom. Any minute now he would lose control and it would be all over the place.
Jimmerford turned a corner and saw a bathroom, about a hundred feet away. He broke out into a dead run. He flung open the door, and suddenly his feet were flailing like a pair of underwear tied to a flagpole. Somehow his head was in his armpit.
His arm went around his neck and into his mouth. His forehead collided with a sink and he ended up all twisted and mutilated on the floor. A floor that was soaking wet with urine and something else…
"My face!" Fredrico yelled as he fell down the stairs.
For some reason he swore he saw a small, meaty little leg stick out and trip him just before he went down the stairs. Now he was ever-so-gracefully gliding down on his face. He fell in a twisted heap at the bottom. After about thirty painful minutes he stood up, and then fell over. He then got bored and went to sleep.
He woke up sometime later, hanging from the ceiling like a bat. His head felt like it had been eating McDonald’s for the past year.
He looked around. He saw no one, just a McDonald’s wrapper and a pile of bark. So now he had to get down. He began to ferociously gnaw at the rope until he fell on his face. He got up, twisted his nose back into place, and began to frolic. He was in mid-frolic when he heard the sound of glass breaking. He turned around to see a rabid panda galloping towards him at blazing speeds. Fredrico began to run away, but he tripped over his arm (he has long arms) and fell down a gaping hole into the abyss.
Well, it turned out not to be an abyss, but the boiler room. He didn’t know what the boiler room’s purpose was, but it didn’t matter, because a rabid panda was chasing him. He opened a random door to find an angry, fat midget with spaghetti all over his face. The midget picked Fredrico up and, with a complex series of movements, placed Fredrico in a disgusting position inside the boiler thing.
While Fredrico was contemplating how he got in the boiler, it began to heat up and Fredrico melted. Or so he thought.
FIN(for now)
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