It's Life - Chapter Ten

Sakari's POV

The rest of vacation passed slowly, Nate and Flynn and their parents were visiting relatives in Texas or something and Abbie had relatives at her house, so I stayed home, bored out of my mind, waiting impatiently for school to start again.

Monday finally came around and I practically bounced my way to the bus stop, eager to see Nate... but he wasn't there. "He has a dentist appointment, mom's bringing him in later." Flynn told me.

I spent the bus ride sulking. The day was off to a bad start and I could only hope it'd get better when I got to school and could see and complain to Abbie. But she wasn't there either and I didn't know why.

Lunch came and no one from the lunch table group was there, making my day even worse. I knew Nellie was spending lunch break in the library. Carl was out sick with a cold. The twins were on some committee that had a meeting at lunch and the boys from science were spending the shockingly warm day playing that hacky sack game outside with some other friends. I sat down unhappily, staring at my lunch, not feeling hungry.

My thoughts turned to Damien and how he'd been the only one to sit with me before I'd moved... and how even after everything he'd moved on so fast...
But then, I too had moved on fast... It still hurt though. I could only wonder if he would feel the same way I did if he knew I moved on. For some reason I didn't think he would. "Hey." A voice startled me out of my thoughts.

I looked up and groaned. "Ew, it's you."

"Oh come on, don't be like that." CJ said with a smile. I rolled my eyes and stabbed at a carrot.

"Go away." Of course, he didn't go away, he barely seemed phased by the anger I'd put into my tone and I bit into the carrot more forcefully than I really needed too. "Seriously, CJ you're creeping me out. Just go away."

He touched my arm and I froze. "Don't do that!" I moved my arm away and focused on mixing Ranch dressing into my salad.

"Jaz's parents are out for the night... we're gonna have a party. You should come."
I automatically went to say no, but something stopped me. A party? A party could be fun. "Why should I?"

"Because I like you. You're cool. Besides, you'd have fun. I know you would."

I tilted my head to the side. "Okay. I'll think about it." Woah, why did I just say that? Did I honestly just tell him I'd think about going to his party? I mentally slapped myself. That was a stupid idea. There was no way I was going to a party with CJ!

"Cool." He pulled a pen from his pocket and wrote his number on my hand. "Text me when you decide." And with that he got up and left, leaving me to eat my food. Can you say strange?

Third block came and went and then I walked into fourth block, ready to face another horrible block without Nate and Abbie. The only good thing about this block would be at least having Caleb in it...

Nate still wasn't there. He must have convinced his mom to let him stay home. The last bell finally rang and I climbed onto the bus. I pulled my phone from my pocket, getting ready to send a text to both Nate and Abbie when something on my hand caught my eye. The phone number...

I bit my lip and leaned back in the seat, contemplating what I should do. CJ was kinda sketchy... but then again, he was a tiny bit cute... and he didn't seem too bad... maybe I just let myself be intimidated by the stories Abbie had told me.

But suddenly Damien stormed his way into my thoughts and for some strange reason, thinking of him made my decision. I was going to that party. My thumbs pressed the keys and then hit sent. Before long he texted back. "Great, I'll pick you up at 8."

I texted him back and then closed my eyes and leaned back. What was I thinking? I must be losing it. Going to a party with CJ? But then, some small part of my brain whispered, 'Jaz will be there, she'd been nice. It'll be fun.' I told myself that over and over and by the time the bus got to our stop, Caleb was looking at me like I was crazy. "You're talking to yourself Sakari."

I rolled my eyes, forcing a laugh. "For your information, I was singing to myself. There's a difference." He just chuckled and kept up the playful banter on the walk home.

"I noticed Nate wasn't here today." He said suddenly and then using a girly voice, added, "Did you miss him?"

I shoved him and laughed. "No, but I'm afraid you might've Caley." I'd started calling him Caley, as an insult to his 'manhood' as he put it.

"Dude I'm not a girl!" He shoved me back with a smirk.

"Whatever you say. Caley." I beat him to the door and slammed it in his face, locking it quickly and skipping to the kitchen. He had a key, he could let himself in. It was just a hassle.

He did it to me occasionally, usually after one of us insulted the other just a little bit too much. I heard the door shut and I laughed. He got himself in. I picked up a cookie, thanking Beth for it before heading to my room.

Around 7:30, I claimed that I wasn't feeling good and was going to go to bed early. I made sure they knew I didn't want to be disturbed, and then went to my room. I made a lump under the blankets to make it look like I was there, and then changed.

I wasn't sure what to wear, but after fifteen minutes, I quickly grabbed a pair of black skinny jeans and a neon green v-neck t-shirt. I'd curled my hair this morning before school, so I just ran my fingers through it, scrunching it a little bit to make sure the curls looked okay. A little makeup was reapplied and then I slid a pair of converse onto my feet.

I grabbed a black sweater and slid it on, zipping it up as I walked towards the window. My phone was in my pocket, and I had a key just in case I had to sneak in through the front door. Thank god there was a tree by my window. I opened the window and swung my right leg out, and the upper part of my body, reaching for the tree. "Ouch!" I said, clapping a hand over my mouth. A branch had whacked the side of my head. And it hurt. I grabbed onto a sturdy looking branch and swung myself out. I slid the window shut slowly and quietly, almost falling off the tree in the process.

I caught my hair in a branch as I climbed down and had to untangle it. By the time I got down I'd bruised both elbows and got a stick in my mouth. But I finally got down, and honestly, sneaking out was exhilarating. My heart was pounding as I crawled underneath the living room window and then bolted towards the woods. CJ said he'd be at the bus stop and I got there at exactly 8:00.

An hour later, I was sipping on a third beer, already having gotten over the weird, gross flavor of it. I couldn't remember why I'd decided to come here and I couldn't remember why I had never wanted to drink. It was fun.

Jaz' POV

CJ walked in with Sakari beside him and I grinned. Cool. Partying was always more fun with new people. Besides, Trina was getting really irritating. "Hey! You came!" I said, bounding up to her. She grinned and nodded. Before long she had a beer in her hand and took her first sip. After making a face, she forced herself to drink more and eventually finished it.

It didn't take long for her to get buzzed, and then drunk enough as to where she probably wouldn't remember much tomorrow. She was a giggly, clingy drunk. "I like your hair." She giggled, twirling a strand of it as I helped her to the couch. "Can I have another drink?"

"No. You've had enough." I muttered as I made her sit. "Stay here." The music was blaring like always, and like always I had drunk just enough to get slightly buzzed. I never drank more than I knew I could hold. Unlike Trina who was now puking in the bathroom. Yeah, I was known as a party girl to anyone who didn't really know me, and even the people who do really know me, like Trina and CJ, neither of them knows that I never get as drunk as they do.

I like drinking, but I never overdo it.

CJ plopped down next to Sakari and I left them in search of my boyfriend. Hey, I deserved to have fun too. I didn't think anything would happen in just a few short hours.

When I came back to tell CJ that Sakari really needed to get home, it was after one, and we all had school tomorrow. She was on his lap, still giggling and he was definitely taking advantage of it. They were making out, and I mean really making out, hands all over each other, tongue action and all that jazz. Ha, no pun intended. I sighed and pulled her up. Wasn't she dating that Nate kid or something?

"Jaz!" She laughed and then made a face. "Ohh.... I don't feel so good."

I nodded. "I thought so... come on, let's go. I'm bringing you home."

CJ the flirty, and occasionally angry drunk got up. "No, not yet Jaz... let her stay." He stumbled over and reached for her. Rolling my eyes I pushed his chest, making him sit back down.

"Go find Trina or something." I told him, steering Sakari towards the door. I got her home, shutting the car down by her house. Crap... CJ had said her room was on the second floor. How the heck was I supposed to get this drunk, giggling girl up a tree and through a window?

"Do you have a key?" I asked her, and she patted her pockets briefly before pulling it out. She was still giggling occasionally, but was mainly groaning and alternating between holding her head and stomach.

I took the key and crept up to the front door. It was easy to silently open the door. The hard part would be getting her inside and then getting myself back out. I went back to the car and, as quietly as I could, opened, then shut the passenger side door.

She was walking crooked, and I had to walk beside her, and clamp a hand over her mouth so she couldn't be too loud. We made it to the stairs quietly, and tripped going on. She started giggling and I covered her mouth more firmly, not moving, waiting to see if anyone was getting up... It was still silent so I picked us both up and continued up the stairs.

I found her bedroom and dropped her onto her bed. She was going to have a killer hangover in the morning... I realized I'd been pretty much holding my breath, and exhaled, before pulling off her shoes and putting the covers over her. Stupid CJ. How could he let her drink that much?

He does this all the time. He finds a new girl, gets her drunk, makes out with her... I sighed as I headed back out, locking their front door before shutting it as quietly as possible behind me. I cringed at the noise it made and then rushed to my car.

Whew... I made it, I thought as I pulled out of the driveway. That was horrible. I was going to kill CJ later.

Sakari's POV

I woke up to the extremely loud blaring of my alarm clock and a pounding headache. It felt like my head was going to split open. Bits and pieces of last night came rushing back and I sat up quickly. Too quickly, I rushed to the bathroom, shutting the door behind me. I threw up and then took a shower. I brushed my teeth thoroughly. Today was going to suck.

I tossed my still wet hair up into a ponytail and put on enough makeup to cover my tired eyes. Everything was so bright and loud, I thought as I walked back to my bedroom, wrapped in a towel. I made it, without anyone seeing me, and walked into my closet.

I chose a pair of baggy jeans and a light blue top, with a darker blue sweatshirt. I wasn't up to making myself look pretty. I was way too tired. I grabbed my bag and went downstairs. Aunt Beth had breakfast going, oatmeal and cups of orange juice. When she left the room for something I found a bottle of Tylenol and took some. This headache was awful... how much did I drink last night?

What else did I do last night? The thought scared me as I gulped down the oatmeal, trying to act normal. "Are you alright sweetie? You don't look so good." Aunt Beth said, putting her hand on my forehead.

"I'm fine. Just a little tired." I said. With that, I followed Caleb out the door before she could tell me to stay home. I needed to see CJ, or Jaz... I needed to find out what happened... and seeing Nate and Abbie would be good too.

As soon as the door shut, Caleb started pestering me with questions. "What were you doing last night? And don't say sleeping, I know you snuck out. I saw you."

"Don't talk so loudly!" I muttered, waving both hands at him before pressing them to my head. "Ouch..."

He sighed. "You got drunk didn't you? You went to that party? On a school night? You're insane." I frowned at him and he sighed again.

"Come on, we're gonna be late."

"I am never drinking again." I groaned as he pulled me into a jog. The whole world seemed to be spinning and we got the bus stop barely in time to catch the bus. I sat down beside Nate and closed my eyes, thankful to be sitting.

"You don't look so good." Nate said slowly.

I opened one eye to look at him. "Gee thanks Nate. Way to make a girl feel better."

"Sorry..." He shrugged. "But it's true. I mean, you look cute and everything, but you look like you're gonna be sick." He paused then added, "Please don't puke on me."

"Ha. Ha. You're so funny. Notice the sarcasm." Why on earth did I think it'd be okay to drink? Where was my brain last night?

"She went partying last night." Caleb said, from the seat across from us. "I suspect something with CJ. She got drunk. It's obvious."

"Shut up." I hissed, leaning my head back. "Someone give me some sound canceling head phones or ear muffs or something." My head was still throbbing but the Tylenol seemed to be slowly kicking in. It wasn't as bad as it was when I woke up this morning.

"You were partying with CJ?" Nate sounded uncharacteristically upset and I glanced at him warily.

"Well... yeah..."

"Oh." That was it. Nothing else for the entire ride. He barely even looked at me. That should have upset me, yesterday I had been so depressed when I didn't see him, but today, part of me couldn't care less, that he was beside me, or that he was upset with me. My brain could barely focus on one thought long enough for me to try to figure out what to say. I kept going back to worrying about what happened last night. I could remember getting there, and pretty much nothing else. I didn't even know how I got back home... This was not good.

The bus pulled up by the school and we filed off. Nate gently grabbed my wrist as I headed towards the school. "Sakari, I think we need to talk..."

"I can't." I said interrupting him. "I've gotta find CJ and Jaz." I pulled away from him and rushed into the school, barely thinking about how that must have hurt him. I found Jaz five minutes before the bell rang, hanging out in a corner of the gym with Trina and some dude named Donovan... I vaguely remembered him from before, but didn't focus much on him. Jaz led me away from the small group, walking laps around the gym as she talked.

"You didn't do much, but you got so drunk. You were making out with CJ when I decided to bring you home."

"I made out? With CJ?" Oh crap. Crap, crap, crap.

Jaz looked at me, worried. "I know it seems bad, but..." She paused and looked around. "Okay I can't think of anything to finish that sentence with."

I laughed - in that 'this really isn't very funny' sort of way. "Great."

"Sit with us. At lunch today. Please. I promise, now that you've hung out with us outside school, it won't be as awkward. CJ really isn't that bad when you get to know him."

"I can't. I've got some major rehearsing with Abbie to do. This concert that's coming up is majorly important. Besides, Nate would kill me. He's already mad at me for even going to that stupid party. Oh crap. Nate!" I rushed off to find him but before I could the bell rang and I had to get to class.

Today was a gold day, meaning less classes with Nate, but chorus with Abbie. We spent the whole first twenty minutes of the block figuring out what songs, everyone was doing for their videos. After quickly consulting each other, Abbie and I decided on 'How You Love Me Now', by Hey Monday, mainly because we had no other ideas, and it was the first song that came up when Abbie turned shuffle on, on her iPod. We hadn't thought much about it over the break since we hadn't been able to hang out and Miss M was already mad enough at the other kids who didn't pick songs for themselves. Neither of us wanted to make her even more upset than she already was.

After that was done, the rest of the block, the whole sixty minutes, was spent practicing. The concert was about a week away, on a Friday night. We were all ready for it, but she insisted on making us practice over and over.

I could barely focus though and kept getting things wrong. My thoughts were all on CJ. Maybe Jaz was right... ugh, I still couldn't believe I kissed him. Abbie shook me and I broke out of my thoughts. "What?"

"Focus!" She was annoyed with me. I could tell. "I don't know what's with you today but you're messing up like crazy. This is our chance to get into that program. And you better not blow just because you're not thinking straight."

"Nice pep talk. I can't believe you think, you're actually good enough to get an audition anyway." I sneered sarcastically. Wait? What? I can't believe I just said that to her. She was an amazing singer, one of the best I'd ever heard.

Her mouth dropped open, forming a small 'o'. "Excuse me? Who are you and what did you to my best friend? Because Sakari I know, wouldn't say something like that. She's not a bi-" She stopped herself and turned away from me. But I knew what she implied.

Why did I say that? I shook my head angry at everything all of a sudden. There was no way I was sitting with Jaz and CJ at lunch today. I needed to work things out with Abbie. If I were already starting to act all horrible to my friends after just one party, what would happen if I did that more often? "Abbie I'm sorry. I didn't mean it."

She spun around to face me, her hands on her hips, a glare on her face. "Oh? Then why'd you say it? Huh?"

"I don't know... I'm angry and pissed and have a major headache and... and... Abbie I'm sorry."

She crossed her arms over her chest and her glare to a scowl. "Explain. What in the world would make you say that to me?" I could tell she was trying to hold back tears. She was sensitive, and I'd just emotionally slapped her.

"I don't know why I said it."

"Where were you last night? I texted you like fifty times, because I wanted to tell you about this really cute guy I met. He's my cousin's best friend and he came to Thanksgiving with us because he's living with my cousin. I guess his parents kicked him out or something. But he's really, really cute, and I wanted to talk to you about him, and explain why I wasn't in school yesterday but you didn't reply. And when I called your Aunt, she said you'd gone to bed early because you didn't feel good. But I don't believe that. At all. If you seriously went to bed around 7:30, then how could you be so cranky and look so overtired?"

She took a deep breath at the end, after spitting all that out with barely any breathes in between the sentences. If it had been in any other circumstance I might have laughed at how her, thoughts had turned from flipping out at me for what I said, then suddenly for not texting her back.

I glanced over at the teacher. She was busy lecturing a few students on the importance of learning when and where to breathe in and out while singing. "I was at a party with CJ and Jaz." I lowered my voice and she gasped.

"What? Why?"

"I dunno." I muttered. "Nobody was here at school and I was lonely and then I just... said yes when he asked me if I'd go..."

"Well what happened?" Her earlier anger seemed to have dissipated as she dug every detail out of me, including the cringe-worthy make out session with CJ.

"OH MY GOSH!" She shrieked when I finally spat it out.

Miss Mitchell glanced over at us and we just smiled sheepishly. "You need to be practicing." She said, striding over to us. "Would you like to explain why you're not?"

"Um... yeah... I don't feel good. I was just telling Abbie that I think I need to go the nurse. I'll be fine by Friday, don't worry." The last sentence was tacked on because of the worried look that crossed her face.

"Alright, Abbie, why don't you take her to the nurse?"

Once in the hallway, she started shrieking again, but much quieter. "I can't believe you made out with him! Are you crazy?"

I shot her a glance and a look of slightly disgusted understanding crossed her face. "Oh yeah, you were drunk."

"Look I'm sorry. I don't think I'm ever going to do that again. Ever. Drinking was like the stupidest thing I've ever done."

"No duh!" She sighed. "Does anyone else know?"

"Caleb figured it out. And whoever was at the party last night probably knows. But I think that's it. For now. How fast does gossip travel around here? I can't be sure that the people at the party won't be talking about it."

She shrugged. "The speed of gossip depends on how big whatever happened was. Assuming you guys were like seriously, and I mean that disgusting kind of drunk making out, then it's probably already reached half the school. Now, let's hope the people were just too drunk themselves to even remember it."

I sighed. "Oh gosh I hope so." We reached the nurses and I stopped. When we walked in, I explained to the very old lady that I had a headache and needed some Tylenol or some sort of pain reliever. She handed me two ibuprofens and a glass of water, nearly spilling it with her shaky hand. I gulped it down and we left, walking slowly back to the chorus room.

"Abbie, I really don't know why I said that to you. You have the prettiest voice I've ever heard, and I never told you this, but I'm extremely jealous of it." She didn't reply, but there was a small smile on her face and she gave me a one-armed hug.

The bell rang just as we walked back in. The rest of the day passed slowly, and my hangover headache finally drifted away. Fourth block came and I found myself bouncing up and down the seat, waiting for Nate. Abbie was laughing at me. She didn't understand how important I felt it was to explain to Nate why I had so rudely left him this morning.

He finally came in and sat down without looking at me and I bit my lip. "Um Nate," Ms. Meres wasn't in the room yet so I didn't have to talk too quietly. "Nate, I'm sorry about this morning. It was really rude of me to just ditch you like that... can I please explain?"

It was weird, seeing him unhappy like this. He'd always been smiling before. I sighed. "Listen, I had to find Jaz... I was stupid last night and got drunk... I was upset because you weren't in school and neither was Abbie and I was alone and I just... I guess I just liked the fact that CJ was so interested in me. But that doesn't really matter. What matters is I can barely remember anything that happened last night. So I had to find Jaz to find out what happened and how the heck I even got home."

He turned to look at me and I could see the hurt in his eyes. "Why are you apologizing? It's obvious what happened between us," his voice lowered as he said that, "meant nothing to you."

"It did! Nate it meant - it means - a lot to me. I made a mistake by saying yes to CJ. I know that. It was a huge mistake, the worst one I've made in my entire life. I was hoping I could talk to you.... I was hoping you'd understand."

He turned away from me as Ms. Meres walked in. "Well so far, you've just dug yourself in deeper. Nothing you said fixed anything."

I spent the block trying to apologize more but he shut me out. On the bus ride home, he sat in front of me, instead of with me and I bit the inside of my cheeks to keep from crying. Caleb and Flynn both walked faster than usual, as if they noticed some sort of tension between Nate and I.

I grabbed his arm when he started walking and made him face me. "Nate, I'm sorry. I messed up. I was stupid. What else do you want me to say?" I took a breath and let it out slowly. "Nate, I really, really like you."

He cocked his head slightly, looking barely curious. "So that's why you went out partying and made out with CJ?"

I groaned. "I was hoping you hadn't heard about that. I got drunk."

"Why? Why would you go out and get drunk? Sakari I thought I knew you didn't seem like that kind of person."

Great. That was the second time in one day I'd been told I wasn't acting like the Sakari people knew.

"Nate, I'm going through a lot right now. I wasn't thinking straight yesterday."

"What could you possibly be going through that would make you do that? Oh, while we're on the subject of you doing stupid stuff, don't think I didn't notice the cuts on your arm that night at the dance. I noticed. I just didn't want to ruin the night. Because I wanted it to be special."

When I pictured telling Nate about everything, I hadn't pictured us standing by the bus stop, in the road, with him mad at me.

"Did Caleb tell you anything about why I moved up here with them?"

He looked confused at the change in the subject. "Uh, no.. what's that got to do with anything though?"

I sighed and walked onto the grass at the side of the road and sat down. "It's got a lot to do with everything. Can you come and sit down? I'll explain what I'm talking about."

For a second I thought he was going to say no and walk away, but then he slowly came over and sank onto the grass beside me.

"First, let me say that I didn't ever really want to tell you this." I said, not really sure what to say or how to say it. "But, I guess I have too..." I took a deep breath then continued. "My dad wasn't really the best person. He was always nice to me, don't get me wrong, I loved him. So much." I felt tears start-up in my eyes and I let out a small shaky laugh. "I'm sorry... I'm probably going to cry. Anyway, my dad uh... He was a criminal... he robbed a few banks, did some other bad stuff, I don't really know the extent of what he'd done, but after one time, robbing a bank, he thought he got away with it, but I guess the cops trailed him and one night, they surrounded the house."

"So he's in prison?" Nate asked, sounding like he was trying to spare me from saying it.

I shook my head. "No, he... He sent me to my room and told me not to come out and then I heard a gunshot and -" My throat seemed to be constricting, making it hard to talk and I felt the tears start streaking down my face. "I found out later that he'd shot himself." Nate reached out tentatively and gently rested his hand on my shoulder.

"Oh my gosh, Sakari -"

I cut him off. "I really don't want sympathy right now Nate. I just need you to listen because I'm not done yet. I'd just met a guy too, and we were slowly becoming more than friends, and the day that my dad shot himself was also the day I got my first kiss, with that guy, Damien. It was just hours before my life got ruined. I broke up with Damien, because I was moving up here and I sort of wanted to start all over and then I met you... I started cutting myself, those scars on my arm that you saw, to take away the emotional pain. I thought that going to the party would take away some of the pain too, and that I could just try to have fun... but it wasn't like I thought it'd be. I got drunk, apparently made out with CJ and then this morning I could barely remember anything."

We sat there in silence for a few minutes, and I wiped the slowly drying tears from my cheeks. "So, I know that that's really no excuse for what I did and you probably still won't forgive me. But I am so sorry that I did it. And I really regret it. Because that night at the dance, it was the first time since before moving here that everything seemed good and I was happy. But now I'm afraid that I ruined any chance for us..." Somewhere in my words it had started to downpour. He was still quiet and I started to get up. "I guess I'll go now..." I trailed off, trying to keep myself from crying again. I had just ruined one of the best things I had in my life.

"Wait, Sakari, I'm sorry."

I turned. "What? No, you shouldn't be sorry. I'm the one who's sorry. I was the one who did stupid stuff. I'm the one who didn't tell you about my past when I should have. I thought that pushing all this inside would help me forget about it and get over it, but it didn't and it only made things worse. Then I did stupid, stupid stuff and now I'm afraid, I'm going to lose you. And I don't want that to happen because right now, other than Beth and Lucas, and Caleb, you're the only person that really, really matters to me. I didn't realize that before. But I do now, and I'm sorry."

He had stood up while I was talking and he stepped forward, reaching out and pulling me into a hug, completely taking me by surprise. I felt his lips pressing against the top of my head and I wrapped my arms around his waist. His hands were tangling in my drenched hair and the rain was pelting down. "Nate, I'm so, so sorry."

Then, slowly he leaned back and tilted my head up, his hands still in my hair, and he kissed me.

He kissed me. Standing in the rain like some sappy love story and I could only feel his lips on mine. The sound of the rain seemed to disappear, as did the feeling of it on my face. My senses all seemed to focus directly on him and then I started crying. Full on crying. The kind where you start shaking and can barely breathe in-between sobs.

He just hugged me, wrapping me in his warm, strong embrace until the sobs quieted to almost hiccups, then just shallow breaths. Then we were just standing there, in the slowly stopping rain, holding onto each other like the world was going to end.

Right then and there I realized that life is crazy. It's full of roller coaster ups and downs. There's bad days, and horrible days... then there's good days and great days. And scattered through it all, there's drama and tears and fights and make ups. But it's life. It's all just life.

And I realized that the best part of life, is love. Being loved, showing love, feeling love and never losing love. Even though dad was gone... It didn't hurt as much now. The love I thought I'd lost had just been hidden under grief. And in Nate's arms, as the world around us seemed to fade, I felt loved again. The grief wasn't completely gone. It never would be. But it wasn't as hard to live with anymore. It's just a part of my life. It's life and I can deal with it.

I slid my arms around Nate's neck when my crying slowed. I tilted my head up and kissed him. Almost immediately he kissed me back, his warm lips moving against mine as the rain pounded down on our heads. His hands moved to my waist, pulling me against him and my heart skipped a beat when he pulled back and looked down at me, the look on his eyes made my heart melt. "Sakari, I'm sorry that everything that happened to you happened, but I'm so glad you moved up here. Because I really, really like you and I know that sounds corny... but, I'm falling in love with you."

A smile broke out on my face. "I'm falling in love with you too Nate. And, I'm glad I moved up here too."

At that moment, a saying from The Sound of Music popped into my head. Maria says sometime during the movie, "When God closes a door, somewhere he opens a window." And right then, I felt that my closed-door had been the death of my father, and my opened window was here, with my new family, and friends. Everything would be okay.

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Comment Replies

Sorry it took me so long, but it's extra long for the long wait :D haha I hope you all like it.

Brianna - You're amazing. Your comments always make me smile. Thank you so much. I really hope you liked the chapter. Sakari and Nate's conversation took a while to write because everything that came out just didn't seem right and it took me forever to finally get it to the point where I felt it was okay. I hope you liked it.

Jordie - Thank you so much! Writing that chapter made me hungry too lol. Damien won't be coming up anytime soon, but I will say that he does make a future appearance. Hope you liked the chapter. Thanks so much for commenting.

Milena - Thanks! I know I'm so sorry I didn't tell you, I've just been crazy busy lately!

Ria - Thanks! I'm working on it, it's something that will end slowly, but this chapter will definitely help her stop.

Iman - Thank you so much! Haha I'm so glad you like my stories. Thank you so much. Hope you like the chapter.

Isha - Thank you so much and sorry for not posting any sooner!

I'm sorry about the wait, I've been crazy busy doing testing for this new job I got. I start training for it on Wednesday, so it might take a while for the next chapter. I'll do my best to get it up soon though. Thanks so much everyone for reading, and especially to those who comment, it really makes me happy. I love you all!